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My friend is in love with me?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Sep 2015, 2:33 pm

Some jokes she made lately:
"We are probably a couple without knowing it"
"Why don't you marry? You lack nothing"
"If you wanna marry, I'll bring the wedding dress by tomorrow!"
.... and other references to relationship like that.

Is she hinting on me? Or just platonic compliments/jokes? Personally I would never make such jokes with a platonic friend.


The problem is....I am not in love with her, romantically. :|

PS: no, it's not an online friendship, we know each other personally and went out together many times (group and 1-to-1).


Fnord, I hear you, you will say "Why don't you ask her". But gawd, that's too awkward due to incertitude. :lol:



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Sep 2015, 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
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22 Sep 2015, 2:41 pm

Well, if you don't like her like that start going on and on about someone you fancy so she knows it's not her you fancy. She should get the point.

Or just ignore her flirting, that's what most guys do. Eventually she'll give up.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Sep 2015, 2:42 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Or just ignore her flirting, that's what most guys do. Eventually she'll give up.


Ouch.


So wait, you think she likes me in that way?



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Sep 2015, 2:48 pm

Quote:
Well, if you don't like her like that start going on and on about someone you fancy so she knows it's not her you fancy. She should get the point.


There's no one I fancy currently.



Amity
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22 Sep 2015, 2:55 pm

Is this the same friend you have mentioned before? The one who wanted to hang out with just you, or is this a different friend?



VegetableMan
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22 Sep 2015, 2:58 pm

Oh, I make jokes like that all the time with my friend. And we both know we'd be horrible together.


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hurtloam
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22 Sep 2015, 3:13 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Or just ignore her flirting, that's what most guys do. Eventually she'll give up.


Ouch.


So wait, you think she likes me in that way?


Yes, that sounds like flirty talk, however, I've heard of some girls acting like that then getting all affronted when people say they're a flirt. I'm like, well stop flirting then, good grief!

Well that's what guys do with me, so I figure that's the norm. It works because you realise that they aren't feeling it so you move on, unless you're psycho. Plus, you never have an awkward conversation that changes the feel of the friendship where one of you (her) is totally humiliated and if she isn't interested you don't feel awkward for assuming she does.



nurseangela
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22 Sep 2015, 3:23 pm

What's wrong with her that you don't want a relationship? And have you been together sexually or just friends?

If you ask her, it will be awkward and may ruin the friendship unless you want a relationship too.


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smudge
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22 Sep 2015, 3:32 pm

hurtloam wrote:
..Well that's what guys do with me, so I figure that's the norm. It works because you realise that they aren't feeling it so you move on, unless you're psycho. Plus, you never have an awkward conversation that changes the feel of the friendship where one of you (her) is totally humiliated and if she isn't interested you don't feel awkward for assuming she does.


You sure? As far as I'm concerned, most men will only be friends with a woman if he is even remotely attracted to her. Men don't normally say things like that without it being a hint.

I get the feeling, from reading your posts, that the reason men aren't interested/change their minds, is because you're too direct about letting them know you like them. The way you do it is through telling somebody with a big gob that you like that man. Then you leave the man to do the work. Nobody give me crap about how unfair that is for men, I don't like those rules either.


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hurtloam
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22 Sep 2015, 3:53 pm

You sure? As far as I'm concerned, most men will only be friends with a woman if he is even remotely attracted to her. Men don't normally say things like that without it being a hint.

I get the feeling, from reading your posts, that the reason men aren't interested/change their minds, is because you're too direct about letting them know you like them. The way you do it is through telling somebody with a big gob that you like that man. Then you leave the man to do the work. Nobody give me crap about how unfair that is for men, I don't like those rules either.[/quote]

I'm not friends with them though, we don't hang out like I do with my female friends, I just invite them to something we're all doing as a group once in a while with my single female and my couple friends. That's hardly a declaration of my feelings, but they never bother their ass to invite me anywhere. I may text them once in a blue moon if I have something to communicate and I'll turn that into a longer conversation, but they never bother to text message me or chat on Facebook.

Generally people tell me I'm too quiet and that I should just directly ask guys out, which I don't do.

Anyway, Boo is hanging out with this woman as her friend and he isn't romantically interested in her, so that's what my comment was about.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Sep 2015, 4:56 pm

Amity wrote:
Is this the same friend you have mentioned before? The one who wanted to hang out with just you, or is this a different friend?


Same.

You have a good memory.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Sep 2015, 4:58 pm

nurseangela wrote:
What's wrong with her that you don't want a relationship? And have you been together sexually or just friends?

If you ask her, it will be awkward and may ruin the friendship unless you want a relationship too.



It started as a dating interest very briefly but just went platonic friendship.

No sex and nothing of the sort.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Sep 2015, 5:03 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Or just ignore her flirting, that's what most guys do. Eventually she'll give up.


Ouch.


So wait, you think she likes me in that way?


Yes, that sounds like flirty talk, however, I've heard of some girls acting like that then getting all affronted when people say they're a flirt. I'm like, well stop flirting then, good grief!

.



Overall, she is not the flirty type - not like the type of girls you mentioned who flirt with every guy.

Quote:
Well that's what guys do with me, so I figure that's the norm. It works because you realise that they aren't feeling it so you move on, unless you're psycho. Plus, you never have an awkward conversation that changes the feel of the friendship where one of you (her) is totally humiliated and if she isn't interested you don't feel awkward for assuming she does


Huh? I don't get this part at all, what are you babbling there?

You aren't in love with me, right? :lol:



Amity
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22 Sep 2015, 5:13 pm

From what I remember she made it clear that she had feelings for you, you told her ye were just friends and she has hung around since then.
Yeah, you could soon have children with an inherited survival trait ...Persistence. :jester: Your family will be pleased!



hurtloam
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23 Sep 2015, 4:26 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Well that's what guys do with me, so I figure that's the norm. It works because you realise that they aren't feeling it so you move on, unless you're psycho. Plus, you never have an awkward conversation that changes the feel of the friendship where one of you (her) is totally humiliated and if she isn't interested you don't feel awkward for assuming she does


Huh? I don't get this part at all, what are you babbling there?

You aren't in love with me, right? :lol:


No you are not my habibi ;)

Sorry that was very bad grammar. In my defense I was tired. What it's suppose to read is:

Quote:
Well that's what guys do with me, so I figure that's the norm. It works because I (or a hypothetical woman) realise that they (the man) aren't feeling it so I (or a hypothetical woman) move on, unless ( the hypothetical woman) is a psycho. Plus, if you (Boo or anyone in this situation) never has that awkward conversation (with the friend who you suspect has feelings for you) then the feel of the friendship doesn't change or get ruined and no one is humiliated by having their unrequited feelings dragged into the open only to be told "no this is not going to turn into a romance". Also if she isn't interested in you Boo, you won't feel awkward for assuming she is and she doesn't feel awkward either because you didn't make a big deal out of it.


I'd say just don't lead her on and it will all work out in the end, no one will get hurt and you'll still be friends.



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23 Sep 2015, 8:22 am

Sounds like shes joking, but it would probably be okay to ask to make sure she isn't trying to imply anything.


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