Dating someone of another religion

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I have been single for a while (by choice, mainly. I was in love with someone who didn't love me back for 3 years, then went on a heap of horrible dates, so by the time this all ended I enjoyed being single), until a few months ago, when I started dating a friend of a friend. We've known each other for 9 years and our mutual friends always joked about us being together, but we just never did anything because I moved away for a few years, and we sort of secretly acknowledged we would never work out because of... our differences in faith. Well, at least I did, anyway.

Anyway, so it started with us going on a few dates. He is a sort of hermit, I am his first girlfriend (he is 30 I'm 26), and wham bam, before you know it, he's telling me he loves me. But I don't know if I do, things would be fine...if we both believed A or B. Now I don't mind if he believes A, but he invites me along to all the activities concerning religion A and I don't like them. He asks how I thought it all went and I say 'oh, didn't really like it' but he says that he doesn't care what I believe as long as I don't pull him away from A. He also said one day, when explaining in great detail something about religion A, that he'd be really sad if I didn't eventually believe it. He also thinks that B is a load of rubbish so i definitely don't invite him along to B things.

Our religions also cross over into politics. Basically, I am one side and he is the other. I am a very strongly political person, and he is very into religion A, and they don't often go together. It is hard not being able to talk to about our passions (politics for me, and religion A for him)

I start thinking....what if we have kids? I want them to be bought up my way and he would want them his way. everything he does, his whole life philosophy, is related to religion A. We can't do anything together without him referring to it. But he's a lovely guy, so caring, gentle, kind, funny, I have a lot of respect for him. I don't want to lead him on, and I don't want to hurt him.

So, my question is, what would you all do? Is this a good thing and if I break up with him am I wasting a good chance? Or is this just never going to work? I am no good about talking about how I feel, so I cringe at the thought of sitting him down and saying 'hey....' and besides, he's done nothing wrong.


DISCLAIMER!

Now before anyone starts turning this into a religious/philosophical discussion, I will say that he is of religion A, I am of religion B, we both have been since childhood, they are not really compatible religions, and by religion I mean any philosophy/belief relating to the creation of the universe etc etc. One may not even be a religion at all. I am not saying what is what.

Secondly, anyone who says 'oh...nice guys come last...women always reject them...' this is not a case of that at all. I like quiet, nice, hermity guys. I really like him. And 'bad guys' don't like me cause I'm too boring

A good relationship depends on a balance of give and take that's acceptable to both partners.
It sounds like you will mostly be giving in this one, is that acceptable to you?

I am not marriage expert but I live in a very multi-religious country.

Usually, It doesn't work if both are too religious and want to raise the kids religiously.

If you are both strongly your own religions, you are going to want to raise the children in that religion.

Especially in a young marriage with potential children, I think agreement about religion is extremely important. I think you are asking for a lot of conflict.

How do you get through the conflict now?

Especially if you have to convert to "Religion A," I see potential problems.

Otherwise:

I'm an atheist/agnostic. All my lovers, with the exception of one, have been Christian to a greater or lesser degree. My mother is Jewish, my father is Catholic. Religion wasn't a strong component in our family. This did not preclude me from having a relationship with them.

My wife is moderately, conventionally Christian--there really have been no religious concerns in our marriage.

My brother is pretty nonreligious; his wife is strongly Catholic. He allowed her to raise their two kids Catholic

Would you allow your kids to be raised in Religion A at first--then allow them to make their own choices upon an ability to do so? If so, this would work. If you staunchly believe in raising your kids in Religion B, and he objects, this will not work out.

Thanks for the replies guys.

My partner's born and raised formally in his beliefs. I was less so, but my mum doesn't really have any religious beliefs, my dad is a hippie, my brother is Catholic and my friends range from the hippiest of all hippies to staunch Atheists to Christians of all sorts, a Muslim, and well, my brother....who is Catholic. Australia is quite multicultural so I have no problems with any beliefs, really. The issue is, it is hard when my partner wants to talk about his ideas and his religion and I don't agree or offer any real response, and he is extremely passionate about it.

At the moment what we do is just gloss over it or just sort of try not to talk about it. It's not really about what a relationship should be like, I feel like we need to be more open.

Anyway, thanks for the advice, I need to think through this myself and find out what I really want.
Cad

Why don't you invite him to try coming to one of your religious things? If you could do it for him, he can do it for you, can't he? It would be interesting to observe how he handles it.