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Xenu
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12 Dec 2010, 12:58 pm

Before I start, I'm not asking for actual relationship advice, I just don't know where else to put this.

So one of my best friends who is like a sister to me lives a few states away. She's been talking me about issues with her boyfriend for a while and tells me that today he broke up with her and that's shes crying and miserable and stuff right now. What do I say to her to help comfort her or make her feel better?



ediself
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12 Dec 2010, 1:02 pm

tell her she's smart and beautiful and that you know at least 10 guys who secretely dream of being her boyfriend :P that can't hurt!


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Lene
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12 Dec 2010, 2:47 pm

ediself wrote:
tell her she's smart and beautiful and that you know at least 10 guys who secretely dream of being her boyfriend :P that can't hurt!


Seconded. Also, be careful of insulting her ex, in case they decide to get back together again.



ToadOfSteel
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12 Dec 2010, 11:35 pm

Tell her it's not her fault... I went a good 6 months after my ex broke up with me thinking it was my fault... and then I saw her do the same pattern of breakups with two other guys. Even in the face of that evidence I still feel like it was my fault sometimes.



Merle
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13 Dec 2010, 3:19 am

You listen. Each person is different, some just want to vent, and other want to be consoled and told everything is going to be alright. Don't set false expectations nor lie to her just to make her feel (temporarily) better.



Gremmie
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13 Dec 2010, 4:51 am

Just be there for her really. If she wants to talk about it then let her, if not then be available to talk about stuff like normal and try to make her laugh a bit. That's what would work for me anyway.



TheWeirdPig
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13 Dec 2010, 1:28 pm

Merle wrote:
You listen. Each person is different, some just want to vent, and other want to be consoled and told everything is going to be alright. Don't set false expectations nor lie to her just to make her feel (temporarily) better.


Exactly. You listen. There is no need to give advice. Don't badmouth him even if she starts; it's her time to vent. Just let her know that you are there for her.