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michiganfan317
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05 Jan 2011, 9:32 pm

I was just wondering if anybody was in a situation where they were trying to get to know a beautiful girl and then some other guy comes along and does it wish ease? With in a matter of minutes they have this girl eating out of their hand. I like this girl at my job. Maybe not necessarily as a love interest but I wanted to test my social skills to see if I could get a really good looking girl to like me.

I though I was making progress when some other guy at my job who is good with women starts chatting her up at its like they were lovers all along! It is just frustrating. At that moment I couldn't help but feel super deflated and feeling like I am so far away from being where I want to be. I feel discouraged at the moment but I know I will be back trying after awhile.

The thing is that more than anything I would love to have the feeling that a girl really likes me and that we are clicking. In my life time I have never have had that or I have failed to notice it. I just want to make her laugh and flirt and do all of those things that most NT's take for granted.

Like I said I will never give up. I don't want people to think that I just get on here to moan about my problems because I know I am blessed in many areas in life, its just friendships and relationships that are difficult for me just as it is for many of us. Sometimes I just need a place to write and get some feedback.



sinsboldly
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05 Jan 2011, 9:47 pm

Quote:
Maybe not necessarily as a love interest but I wanted to test my social skills to see if I could get a really good looking girl to like me.


you ever think that she saw through your insincerity and so did the 'other guy?' so they played along with each other to put you out of the picture?

How we look to others is rarely how we see ourselves, michiganfan317. NTs catch on real quick if someone is using them like you were doing.

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Jonsi
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05 Jan 2011, 10:13 pm

You wanna know the easiest way to a girl's heart? Actually loving her for who she is, not what she can do for you. It's not a job interview, it's a relationship.



InAmen
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06 Jan 2011, 12:31 am

I feel envous and depressed because I see so many couples together. It's hard because it's hard for me to get into a relationship



Allan
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06 Jan 2011, 4:39 am

Amen brother. The girl I'm trying to get involved with is very beautiful (Asian/Spanish) and the guys at her school are the type that would throw their grandmother in a ditch to get with her. Luckily me and her see eye to eye on many things and I'm probably the nicest guy where I am.

Anyways, if she doesn't like you what the hell just move on. You have plenty of time left on this planet and you don't need to waste time on people who aren't worth it.



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06 Jan 2011, 5:22 am

Remember, once you've won one bout of the mating game, that's pretty much it. Except for post-childrearing relationships, and you're a way off from those. So each loss is a reprieve. Appreciate it. You'll win eventually.



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06 Jan 2011, 10:42 pm

michiganfan317,
Dude, you are playing out of your league.

You want a "beautiful" girl. Beautiful girls know that they can attract guys who are hansom, charming and rich.

Seriously, it doesn't matter how "nice" you are. That is NOT an advantage with beautiful girls.

Read some romance novels. Girls are attracted to "tall dark and hansom" "bad boys" who have money as well.



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06 Jan 2011, 10:51 pm

Wombat wrote:
Read some romance novels.


This is the second time I have seen you give this "advice" on this forum

It';s not very good though imo

You do realise these romance novels are fiction? And not only that, but they are VERY unrealistic fiction if you want an idea about relationships

Although I agree that attractive and rich guys are more likely to be successful with women. Works the other way too though



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06 Jan 2011, 11:16 pm

I understand.

What bothers me is there are women out there who are flirts. They flirt with your boyfriend or husband, they flirt with any guy whether hes taken or not. These sort of women find it difficult to keep female friends. I myself would like to give some of them a knuckle sandwich.


Normal women however I usually get on ok with.



Wombat
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06 Jan 2011, 11:22 pm

Volodja wrote:
Wombat wrote:
Read some romance novels.


This is the second time I have seen you give this "advice" on this forum

It';s not very good though imo

You do realise these romance novels are fiction? And not only that, but they are VERY unrealistic fiction if you want an idea about relationships

Although I agree that attractive and rich guys are more likely to be successful with women. Works the other way too though


Of COURSE they are fiction and unrealistic. So what? They sell millions of copies a month because that is what millions of women want to hear.
Just like millions of men buy "Playboy" or watch porn.

That isn't realistic either.



ToadOfSteel
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06 Jan 2011, 11:24 pm

Jonsi wrote:
You wanna know the easiest way to a girl's heart? Actually loving her for who she is, not what she can do for you. It's not a job interview, it's a relationship.


I wish that's the way it worked. That's the way it should work in my ideal world. But it doesn't. I gave my heart and soul out to a woman, and still she decided i wasn't good enough for her...



Volodja
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06 Jan 2011, 11:28 pm

Wombat wrote:
Volodja wrote:
Wombat wrote:
Read some romance novels.


This is the second time I have seen you give this "advice" on this forum

It';s not very good though imo

You do realise these romance novels are fiction? And not only that, but they are VERY unrealistic fiction if you want an idea about relationships

Although I agree that attractive and rich guys are more likely to be successful with women. Works the other way too though


Of COURSE they are fiction and unrealistic. So what? They sell millions of copies a month because that is what millions of women want to hear.
Just like millions of men buy "Playboy" or watch porn.

That isn't realistic either.


So would you then advise women to model themselves on the girls in Playboy? Just because someone gets off on looking at or reading something, doesn't mean that's what they're actually gonna go for IRL. Maybe for just sex or a short-term relationship, but not for a LT relatonship



Volodja
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06 Jan 2011, 11:30 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Jonsi wrote:
You wanna know the easiest way to a girl's heart? Actually loving her for who she is, not what she can do for you. It's not a job interview, it's a relationship.


I wish that's the way it worked. That's the way it should work in my ideal world. But it doesn't. I gave my heart and soul out to a woman, and still she decided i wasn't good enough for her...


It doesn't mean that just doing that will automatically get you a gf. So the lack of success with one woman doesn't mean you should give it up and be a jerk/hermit. She must have had her reasons for not liking you, and no amount of loving someone and giving your heart and soult to them is gonna make them like you if they just don't



michiganfan317
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07 Jan 2011, 4:19 pm

Thanks everyone for the posts. It's nice to get encouragment and advice. I appreciate it.



Biokinetica
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07 Jan 2011, 4:30 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I understand.

What bothers me is there are women out there who are flirts. They flirt with your boyfriend or husband, they flirt with any guy whether hes taken or not. These sort of women find it difficult to keep female friends. I myself would like to give some of them a knuckle sandwich.


Normal women however I usually get on ok with.

I've read that the reason so many women stay with cheating spouses is because of the potential to lose everything they have. Not just monetarily, but socially. Even amongst their own friends. Amongst social circles where everybody has at least a boyfriend, a single female can be seen as a threat to the others. This leads to that group of girlfriends being colder to the new single, because 'now she's gonna come after one of our husbands!'. The ones who you refer to I believe do it to reassure themselves of their own sexuality. If they demonstrate to themselves that they're still 'dangerously sexy', that keeps their confidence in attracting a mate at healthy levels. I think this could be a survival technique to ward off anxiety.



hale_bopp
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07 Jan 2011, 6:31 pm

Biokinetica wrote:
I've read that the reason so many women stay with cheating spouses is because of the potential to lose everything they have. Not just monetarily, but socially. Even amongst their own friends. Amongst social circles where everybody has at least a boyfriend, a single female can be seen as a threat to the others. This leads to that group of girlfriends being colder to the new single, because 'now she's gonna come after one of our husbands!'. The ones who you refer to I believe do it to reassure themselves of their own sexuality. If they demonstrate to themselves that they're still 'dangerously sexy', that keeps their confidence in attracting a mate at healthy levels. I think this could be a survival technique to ward off anxiety.


Thats the way it is though, singles don't usually hang out with couples, it's a third wheel. I was talking about this to my mother and sister (NTs) the other day.

The ones who I refer to are just flirts and attention seekers, end of story.

I am single and I do not feel comfortable hanging out with couples. And I don't know how to flirt, but I'm telling you now if I was a ditzy flirt I would have a lot less female friends.