AS is a DISABILITY!

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Mmm, i like eggs. And bacon. Man, I want bacon...

Me too. Bacon is the bestest food ever. ^0^

I think what a lot of people trying to give well intentioned advice don't understand, is %99 of the advice given is something we've all been told and tried before. And while such advice works wonders for NTs, for Aspies its either something that doesn't work because our Aspie behavior does surface sooner or later and ruins things, or that we're being asked to do something which only an NT is capable of in the first place.
Please understand that your advice is appreciated, but we've already tried it again and again, and that's how we know it just doesn't work for us.

The main reason I don't follow the advice posted by others here is that its all stuff I have tryed before. I know it won't work. Another poster said get a hobby. I have a few hobbies, they are fun. But to be honest a hobby is no replacement for a relationship. I am not talking about sex, if I want sex I can get it whenever I want. Sex is nothing without a relationship. Not having a relationship is leaving a huge emotional hole in me.

I think Laz is right, its an issue of deeper mechanics somewhere that isn't being addressed.

Disproportionate number of AS females actually in relationships, or disproportionate number of ones that you are noticing here/females that have posted versus males that are not posting?

I was just trying to say that I've seen (male and female) AS relationships happen in case it might be taken as hopeful. But if it doesn't count because I'm a girl, then nevermind.

Yes, it is a disability.
No, it doesn't mean that someone with it is incapable of finding love.
What you're saying is equivalent to saying that someone with paraplegia can't be mobile at all. They can, they just have to do it differently to someone with functioning legs, and it will most likely be more difficult.
There are people on this forum who are in stable, long-term relationships, so it's obviously possible.

I agree Moog, I try to do the same with the people in my life.

Sometimes it's not enough. There are multiple kinds of love, and humans need all of them, or at least most of them, to be completely happy. This includes familial love, romantic love, admiration, and friendship, among possibly others. Right now I have a family and a puppy, but I still feel lonely sometimes because I don't have any friends.

It's easier when your circumstances are looking up. I was just as bubbly as you guys were for that short time I had a gf (at least until it started falling apart). I have a feeling that if either of you lost your bf for whatever reason (death, breakup, whatever), you wouldn't be anywhere near as happy. At least that's what I can determine based on my own experiences...

you'd be surprised and wrong on many occasions

Have you ever tried just being happy when your life is just utter s**t? I did once, and I felt like the most pretentious douche ever, for even suggesting to myself that, in spite of the facts, my life didn't suck. That little experiment lasted all of 5 minutes.

It almost never "happens on it's own" for someone with AS. This is true of women with AS as well, and men with AS seem to have a hard time understanding this.

It does not happen on it's own for people with AS because, it in fact, does not happen on it's own for NT's either. NT's have an innate programing through which they make "it" happen, which they are completely oblivious to.

However, it's not beyond someone with AS to implement a similar program manually.

I never give advice that would only work for NTs, that would be stupid.

Yes, there's huge gaps in the 'deeper mechanics' here. Aspies naturally don't relate well. To themselves or others. Most of what I advocate in all spheres of the autistic community is fundamentals; getting in touch with one's own mind, body and soul. Learning relaxation skills, self esteem, awareness and concentration skills, listening skills, people skills, learning to be kind and open and fluid.

It's a kind of bottom up approach; all these things will give you foundational tools to use in 99% of life situations. Going top down - starting with a singular problem, and then looking for quick fixes seems limited... these methods seem to require vast energy investment that only apply in specific situations.

Just chiming in to agree here, because I think you make an excellent point. Working on the "fundamentals" may seem more difficult or daunting, and it may not seem the obvious route if one is looking for immediate pay off, but it will help you in many areas of your life rather than with only one specific problem. Working on one specific problem without working on the underlying issues seems, to me, to be not the wisest method. Like trying to build a castle on top a swamp.

It is very hard for people with AS to know what they need to work on. I asked friends that I wanted a deeper relationship with why they don't feel the same way. They all said "don't know, just something about you.". Very frustrating. How can we fix what's wrong when we don't know what's broke.