Best friend confessed his attraction for me. Ick. Help?

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This is typical. Again, this happens to lots and lots of people (a slightly different version happened to me once) and has NOTHING to do with you. Seriously, call one of those help lines and talk to someone. You are not whiny, you are not the b-word, you are not stupid. You have a whole community of people who care about you here, and all of us can see it.

It may seem like this guy is your only friend besides your boyfriend. When I was younger, around your age, I had many times when I felt I was totally alone with no friends. There was a time when I felt I had only the man who is now my husband. I now have many, many friends, people who really care for me and understand me - but it took time. You can't define yourself by or blame yourself for things you can't control at the moment - all this stuff will get better, and you will figure it out.

However - in order for all the good stuff life has in store for you, you need to be safe - your priority right now is to find whatever works for you to be safe. This friendship, from the small amount I've read about it, does not seem safe at all; not only does he harm and threaten you, but he causes you to want to harm yourself.

Stay safe - because someday, when you are forty, there will be a twenty-year-old girl who needs your help; it might even be your own daughter. Right now, don't think of this as a personal crisis - think of this as a time when you are learning how to help that girl twenty years from now. She will need you.

Perhaps you need to clarify which is your best friend, your boyfriend or this other guy.
I didn't read your post about him hitting you before. He doesn't sound like much of a friend.
Your OP made your situation sound like something very different.

Last edited by Brainiac5 on 10 Jan 2011, 7:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you for posting Stefan, I'm very glad that you're home with her.

Good luck to both of you, I wish you the best and I hope you sort this out.

Good on you! She does deserve such a good man like yourself. We appreciate you clarifying stuff for us. ^.^

P.S. Nice to meet you, sir.

So Stefan is back and is with Emilion, right now? Posting from her place? Read the whole thread, spoke with an upset Emilion and written a post in 9 minutes?

Hi Stefan, glad to hear you're back, and I agree - from the sounds of it this guy needs to stay the hell away!

He could have skimmed the thread. Also, some people can type really quickly when they know what to say. I am one of those people. She could have used the thread to help explain the situation if she was having difficulty talking about it. He's probably comforting her now.

Why do women go for guys like that? For the same reason guys go after women that constantly reject them...kind of like the guy she is describing. If someone isn't giving you the time of day, the natural response is to try and solve the problem, patch things up. So things are so good between Emlion and Stefan that she pushes him away (since there is nothing left to fix) Or at least that's how I see it. This is what happens when people spend more time trying to find happiness then they do just simply being happy. Same reason we want what we don't have. Humans like to learn about things. We are curious creatures.

Exactly this.
She wouldn't speak any more than 'read this'. I skimmed it quickly, and just read it more carefully now after making that post.

Now i'm going to make her some sweet tea and run her a bath and hopefully she'll be much more relaxed and able to sleep soon and tomorrow morning we can talk through this and try and make sense of everything and create a plan of action on how to make her feel better.

Thank you for understanding.

Ah, glad this came to a happy endind.

No problem. I hope you two can figure this whole thing out in a manner that's efficient and as painless as possible.

I'd like to thank you Jonsi for being the only guy in this part of the thread who showed concern and tried to help. It's nice to meet you

I agree and shame on the guys who only used this thread to b***h about women.

Obviously you don't understand the male perspective.

Seconded, to both of you. :]

Yes, because I am nothing but a terrible woman who only lives to spite men. Shame on me.