So I was strolling with a girl today and came to a reali....

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... a realization. Unfortunately I am not compatible to be in a relationship. The reason is because I cannot communicate beyond a basic hello, how are you doing, what classes are you taking, etc. Even when conversing with my friends my conversations are limited in content. I just don't know how to engage in small talk. I also don't listen to much music, and the music I listen to is so peculiar that it only strikes me as being interesting so I can't talk about that. I can't go to parties or hang out with a girl's friends because I wouldn't be able to talk to them either, so that wouldn't be any good. One girl I am interested in goes to night clubs and dances a lot and has over 800 friends on facebook, and that really overwhelms me. I don't really like shutting everyone off either though, and sometimes I grapple with the idea that I should just tell everyone who talks to me off because there is not point in talking to them, but I don't want to be in a cacune; I hate that idea. So I don't know what to do. I guess I have to just be content with the idea that I can't converse in small talk and will likely never be in a relationship. I don't know how I feel about that.

Okay that is just a ramble and thought I'd post that because I'd like to get that thought out of my mind a move on with life.

I think this (and other posts like it) would be more suited in the haven
most people here arent gonna just try and convince you to keep going and all that, just my suggestion

Most people just want to know that you're not being quite because you don't like. And girls generally like guys who are good listeners....just be sure it doesn't land you in the friend zone if you like her as more than a friend.

In my experience, people who club all the time and have hundreds of facebook friends, are really just good at meeting people and not very good at forming relationships with them. In other words, those 800 people probably aren't actually her friends.

I told my girlfriend that I'm not really good at showing interest. I try, but whether I ask for specifics or not, I'm interested.

If you don't know how or when to ask (or you forget), tell her. I don't think my girlfriend believes me, but I'm trying to work on getting her to talk more about herself without me prompting her.

Have you tried the nighclub scene? It has the advantage that when nobody can hear anything anyone says, it levels the playing field.
You should ask her to go to such a place with you. A person with 800 "friends" is generally less likely to decline invitations.

As for the trouble with small talk and communicating, and the feeling of being relegated to a social subclass by these deficiencies, this site is full of people who share that sentiment: myself included.

Now that is a source of infinite confusion to me, though I've heard it before. I don't understand how moving closer as a friend alienates oneself on other levels.

You don't "have" to, that's just what the Asperger's wants you to do. You can train yourself out of things like that with the help of a psychologist.

Try building on small talk by finding a common interest or even characteristic (but be careful with this one) to create a conversation. I've found that their are certain people I tend to "click with" and a lot of the time we don't talk just sit silently as a group looking at stuff on our laptops or having crazy conversations. Sometimes finding people you are actually comfortable being silent around is a good thing.

Don't be passive aggressive and feel like you're being forced to be a certain way. Make a choice. If you don't want a romantic relationship, then don't worry about it. Nobody's opinion counts but yours and you don't have to date just because everyone else is.

On the other hand, if you do want one, then decide what kind of girl you're looking for and go after it. Personally, I wouldn't date a girl that loved nightclubs and had 800 Facebook friends, because I don't think we'd get along too well. Further, there's about as much chance I'm elected President as a write-in as there is any girl is getting me to go dancing. Perhaps you're simply pursuing the wrong targets. There are girls that are more introverted and quiet.

Surely there are things you can talk about. What's your special interests? Find a girl that's into the same stuff you are and you won't have problems finding things to talk about.

I'm bad at making conversation, but the girl I like says she doesn't mind it and that everyone has an element of being bad at socialising anyway. She also seems quite shy. Hopefully she'll be my girlfriend soon