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porn from another girl...

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mellisamouse
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15 Jan 2011, 1:57 pm

I am NOT, repeat, NOT mad at my boyfriend, but isn't it normal to feel offended, if another girl, supposed mutual friend, comes over when I am out and gives my boyfriend porn??

Is it just me, or did she totally violate and disrespect me and my relationship by doing something so weird?

I feel offended, but am I just anal, or am I feeling what anyone else would feel?



Mindslave
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15 Jan 2011, 2:08 pm

Seems like a sane reaction to me. Of course, "what anyone else would feel" would be anger at the boyfriend, and acting all bitchy. Fortunately (or not?) you are saner than most people are.



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15 Jan 2011, 2:08 pm

Before jumping to conclusions, why did she give him porn?
Does your boyfriend know you know?

I do smell (understandable) territorial drift here :).


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mellisamouse
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15 Jan 2011, 2:24 pm

he showed me right away, never tried to hide it, as soon as she knew I knew, she had this big defensive spazz saying I was being uptight...

yeah. who does that stuff.... I could never picture invading on someone elses relationship like that...rude.

In fact, think I would get my ass kicked if I ever stooped so low...



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15 Jan 2011, 2:33 pm

mellisamouse wrote:
he showed me right away, never tried to hide it, as soon as she knew I knew, she had this big defensive spazz saying I was being uptight...

yeah. who does that stuff.... I could never picture invading on someone elses relationship like that...rude.

In fact, think I would get my ass kicked if I ever stooped so low...


How different are you two?
If she has this habit of giving people inappropiate stuff it might be not ill-meant.


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mellisamouse
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15 Jan 2011, 2:52 pm

my boyfriend told me she had a crush on him before we got together, and no, she didnt give any to the single guys in the house....

I think everyone gets mad when they see two people happy together, and they try to wreck it...not realizing how selfish it is, and that if they were a true friend they would be happy their friend is in love...

just how I feel though..



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15 Jan 2011, 2:56 pm

Personally? Yeah, justified reaction.



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15 Jan 2011, 2:59 pm

It sounds to me like she is jealous and trying to cause disruption in your relationship.Luckily, it seems like you and your boyfriend can see straight through it.


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mellisamouse
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15 Jan 2011, 3:09 pm

thanks, yeah, thats what he said too.... guess she is just one more person I know not to trust in any way, shape, or form...

I really wanted to like her... :cry:



mellisamouse
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15 Jan 2011, 7:16 pm

I think I am actually mad now.... I could never do that and NOT know it is malicious....booooooo!



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15 Jan 2011, 7:35 pm

mellisamouse wrote:
thanks, yeah, thats what he said too.... guess she is just one more person I know not to trust in any way, shape, or form...


Several questions crossed my mind:
- How did she give your boyfriend the porn? Did your boyfriend at least try to refuse?
- How did your boyfriend show it to you? Was he laughing? Was he concerned?
- Is she just a quirky person? Did she give it as a joke?
- Do you have anything against porn in general, or are you offended because it's from her?
- Does your boyfriend know about how you feel?



mellisamouse
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15 Jan 2011, 7:46 pm

menintights wrote:
mellisamouse wrote:
thanks, yeah, thats what he said too.... guess she is just one more person I know not to trust in any way, shape, or form...


Several questions crossed my mind:
- How did she give your boyfriend the porn? Did your boyfriend at least try to refuse?\
she came over like 2 seconds after seeing me out, and knowing I was going to be out for the night, hadn't been here for WEEKS..- How did your boyfriend show it to you? Was he laughing? Was he concerned?
He showed it to me right away, and thought of it as a joke..- Is she just a quirky person? Did she give it as a joke?
- Do you have anything against porn in general, or are you offended because it's from her?
I have nothing against porn, definatly just because he told me a few times she has/had some crush on him,...like, does she think we will watch it and think about her or what?? just weird to invite yourself in someone elses bedroom like that...- Does your boyfriend know about how you feel?

Yeas, he knows I am offended, and thinks she is just jelouse as she spazzed out on me later in the night at a different party when i tried to joke about it... she got defensive and insulting, which actions shows a bad concience to me.. all I said was "what was up with the corn porn" and she was pissed he told me



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15 Jan 2011, 7:49 pm

She did cross a boundary, definitely. I am not sure what her intentions were. Maybe she was actually trying to be friendly. But in normal scenarios that can only be seen as her trying to seduce your boyfriend.

However, your boyfriend told you , so there is no reason you should get jealous. Just be happy that there is actually such level of trust. Your reaction was fair but If you make a big fuss about it, it will only strengthen her.


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mellisamouse
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15 Jan 2011, 8:00 pm

Vexcalibur wrote:
She did cross a boundary, definitely. I am not sure what her intentions were. Maybe she was actually trying to be friendly. But in normal scenarios that can only be seen as her trying to seduce your boyfriend.

However, your boyfriend told you , so there is no reason you should get jealous. Just be happy that there is actually such level of trust. Your reaction was fair but If you make a big fuss about it, it will only strengthen her.


I know. My boyfriend rocks! :)

She had the spazz instead of me, so I wanted to vent to you guys instead of spazzing back. :)

Thanks, and you are right. He said the same thing... not to let her win by getting to me....



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16 Jan 2011, 12:41 am

mellisamouse wrote:
he showed me right away, never tried to hide it, as soon as she knew I knew, she had this big defensive spazz saying I was being uptight....


As soon as I read this I thought she was trying to mess with you/your relationship, and then you mentioned her having a crush on your boyfriend in the past. I think she's just being catty and trying to get what she wants :roll:


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16 Jan 2011, 12:46 am

Yeah, that's a REALLY weird thing for a girl to give a guy that's not her boyfriend, even if it was a "joke" (which it doesn't sound like it was). This girl seems like bad news. I'm glad for you that your boyfriend can see that too.