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SurfMaggie
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24 Jan 2011, 2:07 pm

Seeing as you have all provided a lot of really insightful opinions and ideas over the past couple of weeks, I thought I would ask for your opinion on the following issue...

Would it bother you if your girlfriend or boyfriend still lived in the house that they bought with thier ex husband/wife?

Thoughts welcomed

Maggie xx



League_Girl
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24 Jan 2011, 2:14 pm

No. Why would it?


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24 Jan 2011, 2:20 pm

No, unless they were still living with their ex.


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24 Jan 2011, 2:39 pm

Not at all.



hartzofspace
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24 Jan 2011, 2:39 pm

My boyfriend told me a story about something like this that happened to him, a long time ago. He had been dating this one girl, I'll call her Jane. He went away to college, and she got tired of the long distance relationship and started seeing someone I'll call Tom. When my boyfriend graduated, he came back to his hometown and rented a house with Jane's brother and Tom.

My boyfriend started seeing a different girl, I'll call her Susan. Meanwhile, Jane was dating Tom. She eventually moved in with Tom.

Susan became jealous and suspicious because my boyfriend's ex, Jane, was basically sharing a house with him, even though Jane was now dating Tom. Susan kept accusing him of cheating on her with Jane. The relationship finally ended, because she just couldn't believe that my boyfriend was being faithful to her while his ex was living in the same house. My boyfriend was deeply hurt by Susan's lack of trust, but could do nothing to assure her that all was well. To be honest, if it were me, I would be very uncomfortable if I knew an ex girlfriend was living in the same house as my current boyfriend. Hope this helps!


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SurfMaggie
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24 Jan 2011, 3:18 pm

Just to clarify: ex-husband (in my case) lives very very far away, and hasn't lived in aforementioned house for over 4 years.

Just trying to make-up my mind whether to move: don't want to jeapordise any new relationship by being in an old marital home, making potential new partner feel uncomfortable...

Maggie xx



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24 Jan 2011, 3:36 pm

no



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24 Jan 2011, 3:39 pm

No. A house is too big a purchase to throw out when a relationship ends. The equity to sell might not be there and I would not expect someone to take a bath on the sale just because the relationship ended. A bed on the other hand must go :)



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24 Jan 2011, 3:41 pm

If the ex isn't living there with them, I don't see how it would be uncomfortable. However, we aren't the people to ask. We aren't going to be dating you.


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24 Jan 2011, 6:26 pm

Not at all. It's a house. If someone isn't ridiculously rich, houses aren't just something can they go around buying wherever and whenever they feel like.



SurfMaggie
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25 Jan 2011, 10:17 am

Good point MidlifeAspie - I think a new bed and a bedroom re-vamp might be in order :P

Maggie xx

Ps your little person is very cute



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25 Jan 2011, 10:32 am

SurfMaggie wrote:
Good point MidlifeAspie - I think a new bed and a bedroom re-vamp might be in order :P

Maggie xx

Ps your little person is very cute


Thank you

Image



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25 Jan 2011, 8:10 pm

Not at all. Unless she really wouldn't want to leave and felt attached to it.


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MidlifeAspie
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26 Jan 2011, 12:28 am

Pageognat wrote:
Not at all. Unless she really wouldn't want to leave and felt attached to it.


You only want your partner to live in a house she isn't attached to?



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26 Jan 2011, 1:26 am

I think alot of people are forgetting that it's not about the house or the location...it's the details within.

Suppose you move into a house of your boyfriend's. Now suppose there are alot of remnants of the boyfriend's past relationships still there...maybe there are still wedding photos or perhaps a good amount of the boyfriend's ex's stuff is still lying around the house.

In that case it would be an exception to the rule where one must tread with caution. If it seems like the boyfriend is still in the transition phase then one should not move in so soon. If there's still alot of the ex's stuff still there as if they weren't being move then hell no says I.

And if there's other issues being left unresolved like whether the wife owns part of the house through a contract or something then I would wait until this issue is resolved first because then you would have an ex that is just gonna drop by announced because she has that right.

Something to think about here.