A Partner Who Will Challenge Me

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Its all I ask for. A partner where we are equal and can challenge me and we can grow in different ways.

I tend to scare off a lot of potential mates, with my rather brash honesty and my quick wit. But its a test and they fail in the beginning, I'm looking for someone who can quickly respond back, just as quick as I did and challenge the words I just said.

Anyone else in the same boat?

[btw, this isn't really an advice thread, just more to talk about what we're looking for. Self exploring]

That would probably be an Israeli woman then.

Not in the same boat, but I really think those sorts of games are pretty ill-advised.

Having such a narrow criteria and a presumption of superiority on your part is a recipe for failure in my view.

Instead of running a psychological diagnostic on them, why don't you just get to know them better? The one thing I've learned at my age is that people can be really surprising, and attractive in ways you didn't even conceive of before...

I think I was like that when I was younger. It was up to others to prove to me they were worth talking to and being with, and upon meeting new people, I would instantly subject them to the most stringent and harsh testing.

Usually, I just found myself alone. Most people aren't willing to undergo a trial by fire for someone they hardly know and don't really care about. They'll look for easier people to be with.

You don't really want advice, so I thought I'd share my experience instead.

Good luck.

Anyone who doesn't know they're being tested will always fail, goes with the territory.

The thing is for me, I get tired of the stupid comments. You get tired of the pick up lines and the stupid honky dory ways people tell you stuff.

I don't find, "You're so hot," an attractive comment, nor does it make me want to date anyone.

The problem is in the past I have had some terrible relationships. Its a bit of a defense mechanism these days.

You may have a difficult time finding someone you are compatible with if you go into every potential relationship by starting out with tests. This can often cause the other party to forgo becoming emotionally invested in the idea of a relationship with you.

I think the women who would respond back would tend to have major attitude problems

I don't "test" my partners or assume superiority. I love them for who they are and I treat them as equals, which is what everyone is. There is no human on this Earth or anywhere else that is any better or worse than another.

You need to love the other person genuinely to have a chance at anything with them. Testing them is not loving. Putting yourself above them is not loving. As soon as you can accept that, you have a chance at love.

QFT. Throwing tests at someone automatically disqualifies you from deserving their attention.

I think the idea of a partner who challenges and encourages you realistically that you can do the same thing for is healthy.

This is an interesting idea to consider. However, I'm not in the same boat at all. I already have enough challenges because I went to school for that. Now that I'm out of school I look to relationships as a source of enjoyment rather than a source of drama or trouble. If I reject a woman, it's because she said or did something that led me to believe we're incompatible, or because my intuition is telling me that something is wrong, not because she didn't "challenge" me.

Look, we're all not the same.

The problem is I get bored with people very easily, if they don't stimulate some area of my brain. I don't mean to talk back to me or mean it in that way.

Here is an example:

A girl said, "You really should go out with me, I have seen you around in class and think you're cute,"

Me, "Thank you for the offer, but I'm performing the act of Kolinahr,"

She just stares at me funny and walks off.

I want someone to relate and say something back, something equally.

Like I want, "Ah yes, but you could have part human mother so you can have some emotion,"

Idk.

But I'm tired of people expecting me to just go out with them, or to flirt with them when they stupid things like what she said. I have always been stuck in personal relationships with people because they don't match me equally.

The reason I use to really like talking to my dad was because we had a good time, we laughed, and he was always challenging me intellectually.

I actually crave it now. I crave someone unique, intellectual, someone who is my equal. Someone who can match me. But not be the same as me, don't make the mistake in that's what I'm saying.

I'm saying I'm looking for an individual. Who can challenge me. Who can be equal and hit me in all the right ways.

To me knowledge is sexy. As simple as that.

I don't care about b*****s and hoes [rap reference lol], I don't care about a woman's body. I want someone who is sexy smart. As simple as that.

Your superiority complex is going to make that rather difficult for you. You just might find a woman who meets all your expectations and qualifies as "worthy of you", but what do you have to offer in return? Smug superiority is a trait very few women are looking for.

It has nothing to do with superiority.

My last relationship hit me very hard. I was placed in an abusive relationship and was emotionally abused for the longest time. It was like inhaling toxic fumes.

But I kept coming back. I was being lead on a collar like a dog.

If understood by a girl it would be taken as a rejection of the dating overture. I mean, who would think "Yay, a guy who rejects me off hand"?