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Miyah
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29 Jan 2011, 10:07 pm

I had recently sent out an invitation to some friends about a charity event that is coming up in March. One of these people I happened to invite was a guy in his late 40's early 50's who is part of a Christian singles group. He had happened to call me out of the blue on my cell phone and leave me a message asking if I wanted to get together. I had called him back and it turned out that he had and extra ticket to a basketball game and it would be the two of us. I told him that I was not feeling well and that since I was a student that I had homework and both situations happened to be true. He then insisted on going out and grabbing a bite to eat but I still said now.

How do you feel about the scenario above?



wefunction
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29 Jan 2011, 10:14 pm

Sounds like he's interested in you.
Sounds like you're not interested in him.

Am I missing something?



Miyah
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29 Jan 2011, 10:50 pm

I am not interested in his because I am in my late 20's and I am about to turn 30 this year. Why would I be interested in someone who is that much older?



Wombat
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30 Jan 2011, 6:54 am

Miyah wrote:
How do you feel about the scenario above?


I assume you are a girl, in which case you did the right thing.



Miyah
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30 Jan 2011, 9:21 am

I like this guy a lot but not in any sense of dating wise if you know what I mean. If I am going to get together with him, it would have to be with a group of other people who can also interact. However, one-on-one like that does not give out good signals and especially since he is old enough to be my father.



emlion
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30 Jan 2011, 9:25 am

If you don't want to date him turning down a date was obviously the right thing to do.



Quartz11
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30 Jan 2011, 9:27 am

Since he's a good 20 years older than you, I wouldn't bother. That's just a little weird. Since it bothers you as well, you did the right thing in declining.

You just might want to say that you aren't interested though, more explicitly - and not necessarily using the age excuse.



menintights
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30 Jan 2011, 12:41 pm

Miyah wrote:
I am not interested in his because I am in my late 20's and I am about to turn 30 this year. Why would I be interested in someone who is that much older?


Because apparently, age is just a number and as long as the younger party is at least 18 everything is fair game.

A similar thing happened to me once. Had to drop a class and change my e-mail address. Went from liking the guy to wishing he would drop dead and leave me alone.

Great life experience, but wouldn't want to go through it again if I got paid for it.



wefunction
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30 Jan 2011, 1:09 pm

First of all, you don't need a reason not to be interested in someone.

Secondly, you don't need to justify whatever reason you do have.

Finally, I'm not sure what the problem is here. Like I said, it's clear that he's interested in you and you're not interested in him. Unless we live in a society where you're going to marry this guy because he gave your father fifty goats and your opinion matters little, this means there will not be a date.

Are you bothered that he likes you when you're not interested in him romantically?



Miyah
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30 Jan 2011, 4:42 pm

@ Wefunction, actually, I am a little surprised that a guy in this singles group would be asking a girl 20 years younger out like this spontaneously. I just think it's a tad strange that someone who I have only met a few times would do that.



wefunction
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30 Jan 2011, 10:37 pm

Miyah wrote:
@ Wefunction, actually, I am a little surprised that a guy in this singles group would be asking a girl 20 years younger out like this spontaneously. I just think it's a tad strange that someone who I have only met a few times would do that.


Men are generally attracted to women as young as they are socially allowed to be attracted to women. All he figures is that he's got to take a shot to see if you'll go out with him. If you say "No", he's no further than if he hadn't asked, so it's worth the effort to see if he can get anywhere with you.