Someone added me to their favorites on Ok cupid. what now?

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ShadesOfMe
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28 Jan 2011, 6:34 am

The only thing my profile really says is that I'm an aspie, looking for another aspie. I don't even have a picture. The person added me to their favorites, and it said they wanted me to know. I can't tell from their profile if the Have AS or not. Not sure why someone would favorite me unless they were an aspie, so not sure what to do.

we don't seem to have much in common either, but I was wondering, why would they favorite me if they weren't an aspie?



Tim_Tex
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28 Jan 2011, 6:45 am

Maybe he just likes your profile. Maybe he thinks you're cute.

BTW, I thought you already had a boyfriend.


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Moog
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28 Jan 2011, 6:59 am

You don't have to do anything, you can just ignore it if you want. I sometimes just say thanks or have a friendly word with someone who favourites me.


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Grisha
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28 Jan 2011, 8:47 am

I used to get those a lot, 90% of the time they turned out to be international dating scammers. I adjusted my filter to only allow profiles that are more than a week old to message me and that stopped them completely.

No idea if this is what's happening in your case (especially since you're a girl), but I thought I'd mention it as a possibility...



Laz
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28 Jan 2011, 10:33 am

Prepare to be fapped'


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bucephalus
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31 Jan 2011, 8:59 pm

Yeah, I once got favourited by someone with an empty profile so I paid no attention. I think i might hint the aspie thing on OKC, it's about time and I've nothing to lose



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01 Feb 2011, 5:06 am

They might be trying to get your attention without messaging you because they're too cowardly (scared of not getting a reply if they message you most likely). They're just trying to get you to look at their profile and see if you'll message them instead. It's like the online equivalent of brushing past and trying to make eye contact, instead of approaching to chat you up. Yeah, kinda sweet that they're shy, but if they're gonna make you pick up on subtleties like that all the time due to their lack of courage to be upfront.....*bowm bowm (game show wrong answer noise)* Ignore them.

How do I find out who has added me as a favourite on Ok Cupid anyway?



Moog
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01 Feb 2011, 11:03 am

blue_bean wrote:
How do I find out who has added me as a favourite on Ok Cupid anyway?


When you favourite someone, you get the option of letting the person know. If they favourite you and select to let you know, then you'll receive a message.

And yes, it is sometimes scammers and spammers, sometimes it's people who don't have the straightfowararditude to say hey, I think you're cute/interesting/whatever.

Other oblique ways of hinting at interest are winks, and the quickmatch system (rate the other person 4 or 5, and then you get a selection of people to also rate, and if you also rate the person 4 or 5, it tells you who it was). In my experience, women seem to like using the quick match system to indicate interest. I really dislike it.


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Jono
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01 Feb 2011, 3:37 pm

ShadesOfMe wrote:
The only thing my profile really says is that I'm an aspie, looking for another aspie. I don't even have a picture. The person added me to their favorites, and it said they wanted me to know. I can't tell from their profile if the Have AS or not. Not sure why someone would favorite me unless they were an aspie, so not sure what to do.

we don't seem to have much in common either, but I was wondering, why would they favorite me if they weren't an aspie?


If you want to know why this guy added you to their favorites list, you can always ask him. When I started using OKCupid back in September, a girl put me on her favorites list and I got the same kind of message. In response, I sent her a message asking what she liked about about my profile, to which she replied that she liked the fact that I was doing a PhD in physics which she was interested in, although she would send me no further responses, even though she tried to get my attention both by saving me to her favorites and by choosing me on quickmatch.

However, I'm now happy to report that I'm currently busy having a message conversation with her. Basically, in the past week, she finally replied to my second attempt to send her a message. But that was only after I decided to give her a high rating on quickmatch, and I had already sent her that second message in January. So, for those of you wondering why I haven't given any updates on my thread regarding disclosing my AS, this is the reason. She's only the third person who I've chatted with being hopeful to get a date out of it. Third time's a charm I guess, or is that 3 strikes you're out? I guess I'll have to see where this one leads to.

I apologise if I wrote too much. ShadesOfMe, the answer to your question was in the first paragraph.



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01 Feb 2011, 9:57 pm

Moog wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
How do I find out who has added me as a favourite on Ok Cupid anyway?


When you favourite someone, you get the option of letting the person know. If they favourite you and select to let you know, then you'll receive a message.

And yes, it is sometimes scammers and spammers, sometimes it's people who don't have the straightfowararditude to say hey, I think you're cute/interesting/whatever.

Other oblique ways of hinting at interest are winks, and the quickmatch system (rate the other person 4 or 5, and then you get a selection of people to also rate, and if you also rate the person 4 or 5, it tells you who it was). In my experience, women seem to like using the quick match system to indicate interest. I really dislike it.


Ah. I haven't used the quick match system at all but it sounds a lot like the "Meet Me" feature on POF. I prefer to use the match search and be picky lol. I hate the winks as they still make it through my message filters.



aliensyndrome
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01 Feb 2011, 10:54 pm

Isn't it great when someone acts interested in you for 30 seconds and then you don't exist?
Whew.



techstepgenr8tion
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01 Feb 2011, 11:02 pm

Moog wrote:
Other oblique ways of hinting at interest are winks, and the quickmatch system (rate the other person 4 or 5, and then you get a selection of people to also rate, and if you also rate the person 4 or 5, it tells you who it was). In my experience, women seem to like using the quick match system to indicate interest. I really dislike it.

That's kinda weird though, as in I hope they don't take it the same way if a guy stars them. The lame thing about quick match is I can take a look at the nine photos, look at who's viewed me in the last 24 hours - 'ah, ok, it was her', they should just say '________ gave you four/five stars' instead.



Moog
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02 Feb 2011, 5:19 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Moog wrote:
Other oblique ways of hinting at interest are winks, and the quickmatch system (rate the other person 4 or 5, and then you get a selection of people to also rate, and if you also rate the person 4 or 5, it tells you who it was). In my experience, women seem to like using the quick match system to indicate interest. I really dislike it.

That's kinda weird though, as in I hope they don't take it the same way if a guy stars them. The lame thing about quick match is I can take a look at the nine photos, look at who's viewed me in the last 24 hours - 'ah, ok, it was her', they should just say '________ gave you four/five stars' instead.


Yes, so few people look at my profile on an average day, that I can just look at who visited me recently.

I imagine it's harder to do that for people who receive high volumes of traffic to their page.


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Laz
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02 Feb 2011, 5:43 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Moog wrote:
Other oblique ways of hinting at interest are winks, and the quickmatch system (rate the other person 4 or 5, and then you get a selection of people to also rate, and if you also rate the person 4 or 5, it tells you who it was). In my experience, women seem to like using the quick match system to indicate interest. I really dislike it.

That's kinda weird though, as in I hope they don't take it the same way if a guy stars them. The lame thing about quick match is I can take a look at the nine photos, look at who's viewed me in the last 24 hours - 'ah, ok, it was her', they should just say '________ gave you four/five stars' instead.


You know it took me ages to figure out how that actually worked. It really annoyed me cause I never used that rating star system. When I did use it i suddenly got a whole big fan fair about someone else also rating me the same stars and I thought oh crap i didn't want that kind of attention.

Do people actually make use of this system? I just find it a bizzare way of showing interest because its so vague and confusing until someone actually pointed out to me how it worked i was somewhat baffled by these e-mails with these 9 people rated you whatever it made no sense. Still doesn't now really. Besides i find it rude to rate people just what does it imply if you give someone 4 n a half stars instead of five? Oh we were doing so well love, but sorry in my estimation your tits just don't quite cut the mustard?


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Moog
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02 Feb 2011, 5:53 am

:lol: Exactly. I share all your sentiments about it, Laz.


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techstepgenr8tion
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02 Feb 2011, 6:19 am

Laz wrote:
Do people actually make use of this system? I just find it a bizzare way of showing interest because its so vague and confusing until someone actually pointed out to me how it worked i was somewhat baffled by these e-mails with these 9 people rated you whatever it made no sense. Still doesn't now really. Besides i find it rude to rate people just what does it imply if you give someone 4 n a half stars instead of five? Oh we were doing so well love, but sorry in my estimation your tits just don't quite cut the mustard?

I'd supposed 4 out of 5 could be taken another way:

"I've never talked to you yet but I do think you're a high quality match - not in a 'Your my soul mate!' way that you may feel you need to get a restraining order - but you know, in a normal non-needy way. Prove yourself to me a bit and you could be a five".

I guess I say that just from getting a few four stars and not feeling like I got a red rose on valentines day from a girl I didn't know.