What Do You Have to Contribute?

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Several people have expressed the following "Must Haves" for their ideal mate:

• Have his or her own place, away from family and relatives
  
• Have a valid driver's license and his or her own car
  
• Have a well-paying and full-time job
  
• Good-looking, healthy, and physically fit
  
• Tolerant and/or open-minded
  
• Good hygiene and fashionably dressed
  
• Artistically talented or otherwise creative
  
• Honest, trustworthy, and respectful
  
• Well-educated (college or university degree)
  
• Intelligent, but not a smartass

... and so forth. In other words, they had specific standards for their ideal mate. Curiously, many of these people failed to meet their own standards, leaving me to wonder how often this occurs. So, if you are single and "looking", what do you have to offer a prospective mate? Please explain below after selecting a poll option. Thank you.

PS: Be honest, please, and refrain from making those "Nobody likes me anyway" or "(Wo)Men only like ..." posts, okay? Let's not turn this thread into another pity-party or a flame war.

Well, if I were single and looking I would look for a guy with a good job even though I don't have one. The reason being I'm a housewife, I bring a whole different skill set to the table. I've been a housewife for a very long time and it's too late to go learn to do something else. The thing is, when people on here hear "housewife" they imagine I'm just sitting around eating chocolate and typing all day. That's far from it. I do get on here and keep it on, but I sit here and take my breaks. I'm up doing things most of the time.

My house is usually very clean (can't say always spotless because of the kids)
The laundry is done
At least two meals a day are made from scratch and served to the family (I don't cook lunch during the school year when it's just me here)
Things stay organized
Schedules are organized

So, because of what I do I'd look for a guy with a good job who wanted a housewife. I suppose that is the same standard, or it is to me because what I do is worth good money too. Try to pay somebody to do what I do 24/7.

But otherwise I would apply it.

I know you weren't asking me, but I wanted to answer that because of the housewife thing.

Carry on.

^ I think that's what's called "Complementary Standards" - You would want a provider, who in turn would want a manager.

Seems reasonable to me.

Yes. I sometimes have higher standards for someone that I fail to meet for my own. For example, I prefer someone who is emotionally stable. And well, I am not. Really NOT, hehe. But maybe it's also because I want someone to fill up where I fail myself. But maybe it's because we are looking for someone that fills us up in parts where we lack in.

^ Another "Complementary Standards" answer ... I should have included that in the poll.

Frankly, a lot of things are nice perks, good looking, rich, etc... But for me, I prefer a person with a big heart and an active mind.
Hygiene is important though, nobody enjoys being around someone who stink or don't wash their clothes. Not being openminded/tolerant is sort of a dealbreaker for me, I like people to be able to see things from more than one angle and accept the fact that we are all different and respect those differences.

Other than that, I try to bring traits I value in others to the table. I am still very much a work in progress, but as long as I am still working on it, I am able to grow and evolve. That is also something I expect in a potential mate, the will to improve. Not improve in my eyes, or the eyes of society or whatever, but in their own eyes.

I expect someone to be friendly, intelligent and good-looking. I do my best to be nice (as in genuinely nice), I spend a lot of time on my body and I'm working on a degree in engineering. Not being intelligent enough to have a deep conversation kills most of the joy for me.

I don't care if anyone is a smartass (I like opinionated women), as long as they don't rub it in that I struggle slightly with language and a lot with social skills. If they're unemployed or still live at home, it doesn't bother me as long as they try to solve their own problems and are actively looking for a job. It's not gonna bother me too much if she has social difficulties, as I know that society expects a whole damn lot of you socially today. I don't bring a good job or my own place to the table at the moment; I was offered a decent paying job in Gibraltar a few weeks ago, but turned it down because it interferes with my studies. I reckon I could bring a lot to the table once the degree is finished, though. As of today, I bring a high IQ, a high testosterone level and above average muscle mass to the table. Thus, I would like a woman who looks feminine.

I've been financially (and not only) independent since 18, considered as fairly attractive, healthy, clean and fit. These are also some of the things I've looked for in a partner, along with similar intelligence, some shared values and a rather laid back attitude. My wife fits the bill and we've been happy for quite a while now. So shoot me

im 21 and dont have a drivers licence

i´m gonna die alone

Shoot you for what, having standards or for having those standards met?

Having them met , relationship/marital success seems to attract a lot of resentment around these parts.

So get a driver's license.

Or move to New York. Half the people there don't have one.

Or Atlanta. Most of the people there shouldn't have one.

Tell me about it ... ... it seems that any type of success is met with resentment by some 'round here.

I don't ask for much, I basically have 4 standards...someone who isn't obese, who doesn't smoke/do drugs, who shares at least 1 interest in common, and who is intelligent. Me personally, not to toot my own horn but I'd say that I meet far more than just those 4 .

I've never been too concerned about physical/material. I don't offer much and don't ask for much in return. I can see myself living happily in a small but clean apartment with one vehicle, fulfilling but low-paying jobs, and a bit of a gut.

My "Must Haves" are mostly about good communication, moral support, complexity of character, freedom in seeking out independent goals, and not needing to be fixed or entertained. I guess I can afford this since I'm not planning on children and have already chosen a basic life path independent of whether or not I'm in a relationship.