my upcoming date.

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here's the dealio..........this is long, but thanks in advance for reading it.

there's this girl. way back when we were both in youth group and she was a freshman and i was a junior or senior, i asked her out. never got a reply. we were yg friends, but never really anything else.

well, she struck up a conversation with me on facebook yesterday. i can be positive she is neurotypical - very outgoing; and because of our history (and because she was the one who initiated the conversation with me), we had a lively conversation. we talked about this and that for a while...when finally she told me something was on her mind (because of the way the conversation had been going, or so she said). i had reasonable reason to believe i knew what it was... and i told her so. we pushed and pulled back and forth until she finally gave in and spilled - and i wasn't too far off the mark.....at least i thought so.

anyway, she told me she was sorry she never got back to me when i asked her out, and explained to me that she was young, naive. i didnt quite understand, so she told me was "rattled" by my offer. i said "so that means you never liked me? cuz i definitely liked you. anddd ur still a cutie lol" to which she replied "haha i never said that".

i told her not to worry, but asked her "how bouts we hang out sometime when you're back in town? ) she replied "deal. i hope i can make it up to you after all these years " the conversation ended soon after this.

now me being my aspie self, i didn't realize in the moment that if she was interested in me, she was doing a damn good job at keeping it..concealed.... like neurotypicals are so often good at doing; rather, i interpreted it as her being interested and wanting me to ask her out again, which i know to be true.... and is also definitely fine by me too . but was she trying to get us together to hang out and see what happens? or was it actually all about her repaying some sort of debt? she doesn't owe me anything...... i have to think it was that she wanted to hang out with me and have a good time. i want to have a good time too, but, holy hell......

i live in a very small and "peaceful" place, but it's not peaceful for me anymore. long story short - my ex is crazy, and has worked to make my life crazy - the peak of the craziness was a week or so ago, when i found myself doing 100 mph in the middle of the night, running from other crazies (at least half a dozen cars). i even came home to someone at the top of my driveway. anyway....i have practically no friends here - rather, people i used to know, and now avoid....because who knows how crazy they've become! no more car chases for me thanks....

i tend to be a bit of a ghost here - always looking over my damn shoulder. to tie this in with the girl, i want to show her a good time, but in all likelihood this wouldn't be achieved by me driving the distance to hang out with her (and maybe her friends), you know being a homebodied aspie and all.......but there isn't much goin on where i live. im doing my best to keep a positive attitude, but she also has a boyfriend, at least according to her facebook page, so i am quite confused on how to proceed. try to get her to to admit her interest in me so im not "stealing" her from another man? i dont want to do that.....she's now a senior in high school, and im sure she is considering all her options.........

i like her because she is vibrant, fun, and not a crazy junkie bee-eye-tee-see-H. she's super cute too

but laying it all out on the table wouldn't exactly "impress" her.......help plz???

You might consider being more cautious in your approach to this relationship. She has publically posted that she is already in a romantic relationship with a boyfriend. Approaching her as a replacement for her current boyfriend could alienate her affection for you. Also, your open invitation to "hang out sometime when you're back in town" may have been interpreted as an invitation to hang out as platonic friends. I've seen NTs say similar things to people they weren't romantically interested in; what you said is a generic way of letting a friend know that you like be friends with them and like spending time in their company.

It might be good to note that NTs can be friendly and flirty with people that they are only platonically interested in. For them it's a way of maintaining and developing social relationships.

It may be possible that she is romantically interested in you, but since she currently has a boyfriend any openly romantic behavior could backfire on you. The best thing would be to approach her as an old, strictly platonic friend that you like to hang out with. If she eventually dumps her boyfriend then, after a suitable waiting period that let's the lady get over a failed relationship, you could approach her romantically.

If she doesn't dump her boyfriend, you would still have a friendly relationship with her and the lady might be willing to set you up on some dates with some other ladies that she knows. Either way you might end up with a date.

If she didn't have a boyfriend, you could be less cautious.

Good luck!

thanx!!