A nice girl... with some baggage

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A few weeks ago while on business travel I met a woman and we had a pretty good connection. Unfortunately the night ended without us exchanging contact info for some reason. I had to leave town the next day. A few days later, turns out she had tracked me down and now we're communicating by email (we're thousands of miles apart). I like her, and it's pretty obvious she really likes me (the signals are blatantly obvious, even someone like me can pick them up, though I admit I had trouble initially). Generally speaking, we seem to be fairly compatible - similar interests/philosophies, approximately compatible social class (We're both professionals, she comes from a wealthy family), and similar age (she's 2-3 years older than me, I'm 28 ). So far so good, right...

She is recently divorced, single mother of 4 (ages 1 thru 6)... This is not a showstopper, by any means, but an eyebrow-raiser for me, especially given how aggressive she was to pursue the relationship (desperate? stalkerish? after all, she tracked down my work email, on her own, and I don't even remember telling her my last name. Or is that not stalkerish, but rather motivated? Could go either way.) Anyway, just wanted to throw this one out there. I've got nothing to lose at this point, since we're only just communicating long distance and there won't even be an opportunity to see her again in person for at least 6-7 months, but is this a relationship worth pursuing, or should I knock it off here?

And if I am an idiot, and the right answer is obvious, say that as well.

I don't see the problem. You are talking about seeing her, not marriage. She may just want some fun after her divorce. Someone to rebound with.

After you do that for awhile you can both assess further. Dating isnt a death pact.

I track down a fella's information when I'm interested in him. I've just learned to not reveal that I've gotten the information to the guy because it can be taken as stalkerish. In truth, I just want to know. Next week, I might lose interest but I want to know as much as I can know that's publicly available while I am interested.

Because she's a single mom, she's probably doesn't care to soft-shoe around the point. She's obviously been in relationships and had sex before. There's no need to act all shy and timid and virginal. It works better for her to get to the point and move forward than do the little dance.

You should not do anything that you're uncomfortable doing. If you like her, go for it. If you're weirded out, don't. One thing you don't want to do is use her for a one-night-stand. I don't think a group of strangers on a forum can really make this decision for you. You're the one who knows her and you.

You could at least try it.

It sort of seems like shes looking for a replacement father of her children due to the desperation. Just my opinion though.

I experienced something like this when I worked at a resteraunt. One told me she liked me because her kids liked me. The other said she liked me because I did not drink, smoke, or do drugs and I stay home all day playing video games so she new where I was. She also loved my views on cheating. They both asked me out but I could not stand to be touched by them so I did not want to be near them.

If you get along with her then go for it. If I met a women who was intrested in me and I did not mind her touching me then I would do whatever I could to make the realationship happen. With me it has always been women I could not stand touching me like me and the ones I like and feel comfortable enough to allow to touch me do not want to have anything to do with me.

A mother of 4 who tracks you down even though you are thousands of miles apart would raise a major red flag to me. Something else is going on and I wouldn't pursue it. Given my track record in such things, however, the correct answer tends to be the exact opposite of whatever I would do.

Are you willing to move? Is she willing to move? 6 months is a long wait to see each other, but there is always Skype. If you are willing to move, then go for it. If not, then what you are doing? You're just wasting your time, and her time.

Dating as a single mom is really hard. I guess I am in a similar situation as this woman (except I wouldn't have the courage to track someone down). She probably means well. Yes. Moms have been there, done that with relationships. They tend to skip the nonsense. If former husband was a jerk, you'll be highly appreciated.

.... but it's a lot to take on and not every man can do it. Dating doesn't mean that you have to get married, but from a practical standpoint, she is probably looking for a long term (one day permanent) relationship. If you have feelings for her and can see a future with her (accepting children come with the package), go for it. Otherwise, I'd let her move on.

Go for it. That fact that you can't see her before six months + means that you have plenty of time to get to know her and make up your mind. good luck!

After one meeting... seems a little odd. But weirder things have happened.

Perhaps best to keep things at a slow pace though...