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Reactions to disclosure of my AS in my OKCupid profile.

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Jono
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21 Mar 2011, 12:54 pm

I just thought I'd give you guys an update to my experiment.

I've recently had at two people comment on my AS in their replies to me, since I first disclosed it in my profile. One of them has actually said that, in principle, she wouldn't mind dating someone with AS after I asked her. The other one only replied to my message because she said that she had a friend with AS. I thought that I would either get fewer replies after the disclosure but thats clearly not case. The results are better than expected.

The downside is that I had to expand the search to people outside Johannesburg because I practically ran out of people in my area to message. If I don't get any dates out of these, which I'm not expecting to, then this wouldn't be a problem. However, in the off chance that I do, then distance would become an absolute pain in the backside because I can't drive.



Bethie
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21 Mar 2011, 12:59 pm

I'm "out" on OKC as well, but don't get much commentary about it.

Of course, I really don't get any messages at all, except for people making fun of me or interrogating me about being asexual. :(

And I certainly don't have the nerve to message anyone first. :oops:

I'm thinking about closing my account altogether.


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Grisha
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21 Mar 2011, 1:34 pm

I've had two reactions: either they completely ignore it, or they are surprisingly knowledgeable and understanding about it.

Haven't been paying too much attention lately though, too many unpromising dates...



Bethie
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21 Mar 2011, 1:54 pm

Grisha wrote:
I've had two reactions: either they completely ignore it, or they are surprisingly knowledgeable and understanding about it.

Haven't been paying too much attention lately though, too many unpromising dates...



Like...

50 year old men who contact 22 year olds, and are looking for "casual sex"?

8O

Yeah, that so just happened....


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curlyfry
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21 Mar 2011, 3:14 pm

Bethie wrote:
Grisha wrote:
I've had two reactions: either they completely ignore it, or they are surprisingly knowledgeable and understanding about it.

Haven't been paying too much attention lately though, too many unpromising dates...



Like...

50 year old men who contact 22 year olds, and are looking for "casual sex"?

8O

Yeah, that so just happened....


Yuk, old and illiterate apparently. I think there are settings that might block certain criteria.



Grisha
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21 Mar 2011, 3:16 pm

Bethie wrote:
Grisha wrote:
I've had two reactions: either they completely ignore it, or they are surprisingly knowledgeable and understanding about it.

Haven't been paying too much attention lately though, too many unpromising dates...



Like...

50 year old men who contact 22 year olds, and are looking for "casual sex"?

8O

Yeah, that so just happened....


Sorry about that, I didn't know it was you - honest! :wink:



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Mar 2011, 3:25 pm

The only question I got from girls (except one who showed a real interest at first but then she previously had a crush on another guy) was : "why are you atheist?", and this was also the most common reply , instead of asking about anything I wrote, they only choose to ask 'why are you atheist?". That hurt me because I felt as if atheism is the only thing that defines me.

So I removed my atheism in the 'religion' field and kept it blank. It seems that people like to pick up on something specific in order to ask meaningless questions.



Grisha
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21 Mar 2011, 3:43 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The only question I got from girls (except one who showed a real interest at first but then she previously had a crush on another guy) was : "why are you atheist?", and this was also the most common reply , instead of asking about anything I wrote, they only choose to ask 'why are you atheist?". That hurt me because I felt as if atheism is the only thing that defines me.

So I removed my atheism in the 'religion' field and kept it blank. It seems that people like to pick up on something specific in order to ask meaningless questions.


Change "atheist" to "agnostic" and everyone's totally cool with it, makes no sense...



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21 Mar 2011, 3:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The only question I got from girls (except one who showed a real interest at first but then she previously had a crush on another guy) was : "why are you atheist?", and this was also the most common reply , instead of asking about anything I wrote, they only choose to ask 'why are you atheist?". That hurt me because I felt as if atheism is the only thing that defines me.

So I removed my atheism in the 'religion' field and kept it blank. It seems that people like to pick up on something specific in order to ask meaningless questions.


"Why do you have a blank religion field?"


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Moog
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21 Mar 2011, 3:49 pm

Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The only question I got from girls (except one who showed a real interest at first but then she previously had a crush on another guy) was : "why are you atheist?", and this was also the most common reply , instead of asking about anything I wrote, they only choose to ask 'why are you atheist?". That hurt me because I felt as if atheism is the only thing that defines me.

So I removed my atheism in the 'religion' field and kept it blank. It seems that people like to pick up on something specific in order to ask meaningless questions.


Change "atheist" to "agnostic" and everyone's totally cool with it, makes no sense...


I would blame the recent rise of aggressive anti-theists bandying the atheism term around. They give you all a bad name.


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Laz
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21 Mar 2011, 4:21 pm

Moog wrote:
Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The only question I got from girls (except one who showed a real interest at first but then she previously had a crush on another guy) was : "why are you atheist?", and this was also the most common reply , instead of asking about anything I wrote, they only choose to ask 'why are you atheist?". That hurt me because I felt as if atheism is the only thing that defines me.

So I removed my atheism in the 'religion' field and kept it blank. It seems that people like to pick up on something specific in order to ask meaningless questions.


Change "atheist" to "agnostic" and everyone's totally cool with it, makes no sense...


I would blame the recent rise of aggressive anti-theists bandying the atheism term around. They give you all a bad name.


Bit like David Blane and Magicians

Now all Wizards are gits


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Bethie
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21 Mar 2011, 4:36 pm

Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The only question I got from girls (except one who showed a real interest at first but then she previously had a crush on another guy) was : "why are you atheist?", and this was also the most common reply , instead of asking about anything I wrote, they only choose to ask 'why are you atheist?". That hurt me because I felt as if atheism is the only thing that defines me.

So I removed my atheism in the 'religion' field and kept it blank. It seems that people like to pick up on something specific in order to ask meaningless questions.


Change "atheist" to "agnostic" and everyone's totally cool with it, makes no sense...


Because atheists are god-haters/satan worshippers, whereas agnostics are super-tolerant, messenger bag-carrying Starbucks frequentees.

:wink:


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curlyfry
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21 Mar 2011, 5:48 pm

Bethie wrote:

Because atheists are god-haters/satan worshippers, whereas agnostics are super-tolerant, messenger bag-carrying Starbucks frequentees.

:wink:


I prefer to call it my six-demon-bag :wink:



Jono
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22 Mar 2011, 2:33 am

Bethie wrote:
I'm "out" on OKC as well, but don't get much commentary about it.

Of course, I really don't get any messages at all, except for people making fun of me or interrogating me about being asexual. :(

And I certainly don't have the nerve to message anyone first. :oops:

I'm thinking about closing my account altogether.


I usually had to message first. Otherwise, no one would message me, other than a few exceptions.

These aren't the kind of reactions I was expecting to my disclosure. What do you think I should do about the distance problem though? I can't think of anything other than asking either my mom, dad or sister to take me there but I don't know if they would be willing to drive a far way.



Stellar
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22 Mar 2011, 3:32 am

That's good maybe you'll find something worth the distance.



Jono
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22 Mar 2011, 7:20 am

Stellar wrote:
That's good maybe you'll find something worth the distance.


How can anything be worth the distance if it means that I might not be able to meet the person for a date? Distance would not be problem if I could drive and had a car but as I said, I can't drive. I can also only get so far with public transport.