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Have Any of You Dated a Neurotypical Female?

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Rippercase
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13 Mar 2011, 2:20 pm

All the girls I have dated have been NT's. Though many of them had some psychological issues to address. One of them was irritated by the fact that I went out of my way to avoid making eye contact and she couldn't figure out why. She would grab me by my shoulders and insist I look her in the eyes which , needless to say, was incredibly discomforting. :shrug:

The thing is, my eccentricities and relative inability to talk about anything but mathematics or science throw people off. Most girls don't even give me the time of day. But more than anything I feel it's an utter lack of self confidence that ruins me. I would swear that women can smell confidence and it's just something I have never had.



wefunction
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13 Mar 2011, 2:31 pm

Rippercase wrote:
I would swear that women can smell confidence


We can and it's intoxicating.



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13 Mar 2011, 2:31 pm

Rippercase wrote:
All the girls I have dated have been NT's. Though many of them had some psychological issues to address. One of them was irritated by the fact that I went out of my way to avoid making eye contact and she couldn't figure out why. She would grab me by my shoulders and insist I look her in the eyes which , needless to say, was incredibly discomforting. :shrug:

The thing is, my eccentricities and relative inability to talk about anything but mathematics or science throw people off. Most girls don't even give me the time of day. But more than anything I feel it's an utter lack of self confidence that ruins me. I would swear that women can smell confidence and it's just something I have never had.


wish I can throw some of my charms your way. I get way too much attention from the opposite sex which makes me retreat, which then tends to make them hang on even more. I am the type of guy that will not go for the ones right there so like yeah :/


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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13 Mar 2011, 2:33 pm

Yes I have. I didn't even know I was a suspected Aspie at the time, though. When I think back on the relationship, she seemed to have a soft spot for my quirks.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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13 Mar 2011, 2:34 pm

wefunction wrote:
Rippercase wrote:
I would swear that women can smell confidence


We can and it's intoxicating.


Unless someone is whining at me, confidence means very little to me. In fact, I have a bit of a soft spot for the insecure. They're endearing.


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13 Mar 2011, 2:36 pm

I care way more about social skills and confidence than looks. Its no worse than you guys caring about looks more.



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13 Mar 2011, 2:40 pm

SadAspy wrote:
An NT girl wouldn't date an Aspy guy unless he made a lot of money.

Of course, Aspy girls date NT guys.


Let me guess, you don't have money, right?

Well, here's a secret: you wouldn't be any better off if you did.

Women don't care - lack of funds is not your problem - my guess is that it's ultimately a self-esteem issue.

Just try to act more "Alpha" if you're really concerned that much about a relationship.

Just fake it if you have to...



TeaEarlGreyHot
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13 Mar 2011, 2:43 pm

Seriously. I know a few NT females that not only dated, but married an Aspie male. Only one of these couples doesn't have kids and that's because they're having fertility problems.


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SadAspy
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13 Mar 2011, 2:43 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I care way more about social skills and confidence than looks. Its no worse than you guys caring about looks more.


True, but it's not any better either. The fact that women place so much emphasis on socials skills makes things difficult for men with AS.

I just don't understand why women need to have loud, boisterous, extroverted men. Is a shy, reserved guy just so terrible?



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13 Mar 2011, 2:44 pm

confidence =/= loud, boisterous, extroverted



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13 Mar 2011, 2:44 pm

Actually, This Aspie girl has only dated one Aspie guy and I was far more compatible with him than I was with any NT guys.



wefunction
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13 Mar 2011, 2:45 pm

SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I care way more about social skills and confidence than looks. Its no worse than you guys caring about looks more.


True, but it's not any better either. The fact that women place so much emphasis on socials skills makes things difficult for men with AS.

I just don't understand why women need to have loud, boisterous, extroverted men. Is a shy, reserved guy just so terrible?


loud, boisterous, extroverted =/= confidence

shy, reserved =/= lacks confidence

Edit: Darn it. emlion already posted what I was gonna say!



Last edited by wefunction on 13 Mar 2011, 2:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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13 Mar 2011, 2:45 pm

SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I care way more about social skills and confidence than looks. Its no worse than you guys caring about looks more.


True, but it's not any better either. The fact that women place so much emphasis on socials skills makes things difficult for men with AS.

I just don't understand why women need to have loud, boisterous, extroverted men. Is a shy, reserved guy just so terrible?


lol I think you need to get out more. Women are not all carbon copies and don't all like the same things in men.


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13 Mar 2011, 2:53 pm

SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I care way more about social skills and confidence than looks. Its no worse than you guys caring about looks more.


True, but it's not any better either. The fact that women place so much emphasis on socials skills makes things difficult for men with AS.

I just don't understand why women need to have loud, boisterous, extroverted men. Is a shy, reserved guy just so terrible?


What the others said. That does not = confidence and people skills. Usually those men are only faking confidence.
Also, you not liking ugly women makes it difficult for them. Just look at that space guys thread. Fair? I think so. Deal with it - we have to deal with being descriminated on based on our looks.



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13 Mar 2011, 2:57 pm

wefunction wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I care way more about social skills and confidence than looks. Its no worse than you guys caring about looks more.


True, but it's not any better either. The fact that women place so much emphasis on socials skills makes things difficult for men with AS.

I just don't understand why women need to have loud, boisterous, extroverted men. Is a shy, reserved guy just so terrible?


loud, boisterous, extroverted =/= confidence

shy, reserved =/= lacks confidence

Edit: Darn it. emlion already posted what I was gonna say!


Not necessarily. Someone who talks a lot could be very insecure, while someone who talks little could be so confident they don't feel the need to boast.

Quote:
lol I think you need to get out more. Women are not all carbon copies and don't all like the same things in men.


Maybe. I realize most introverted guys do eventually get a girl, but you can't deny it's a lot harder for them.



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13 Mar 2011, 2:58 pm

Quote:
Not necessarily. Someone who talks a lot could be very insecure, while someone who talks little could be so confident they don't feel the need to boast.


...that's what we said.