Have Any of You Dated a Neurotypical Female?

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What if a guy is incredibly awkward around strangers but okay among friends?

Actually most women just like average guys.Of all the boyfriends and husbands I know, none of them are "bad boy alphas"....or "shy, socially awkward nerdy guys" who spent their time ranting about women.

I KNEW this was coming. Of course, I can't get a girl....I spend time all my time complaining about them!

I only started complaining after many hurtful rejections....I didn't just wake up one day and decide to start ranting about women, so don't get the cause-and-effect relationship mixed up here.

I am NT female lol was married to aspie for 12 years with him 14 and still his friend today. If he hadn't hit me one nite I believe we'd still be married .. so to whoever thought it impossible .. it is

It is likely a personality issue and complaining about rejections is just making it worse. You have to learn not to care about the rejections.

Of course!

Now that that's out of the way, perhaps a proper introduction would be in order?

lol too cute!!

Complaining about them in public or all the time makes it worse but people need an outlet and if ppl can't talk about it and express their emotions, feelings, thoughts then it makes the situation worse.

We also have to consider what stage of life we are in, teenagers, young adults, adults, have different experiences and are exposed to different environments, different social realms, people from different generations where exposed to different upbringing's, popular culture, environments, while some say that it's all the same, it isn't, for example years ago there was a larger population of women, years ago there weren't male and female stereotypes impressed upon you every second of the day.......................................

Sometimes people can't change their social awkwardness because of an accident or hereditary issues, there are successful socially awkward people and they require a kind, caring, nurturing, understanding type of woman, this type of woman is very very rare, I saw one today when I went into an appointment, her boyfriend had aspergers and she was so kind and caring towards him, I just wanted to cry, because it was such a beautiful thing.

To those who can change it, it requires a lot of work, but the truth of the matter is those alpha male types may not be married but that is by their own choosing they don't just magically one day turn the alpha male switch off they continue, either getting married or being single and active.

it's true it's difficult to stereotype, all I can talk about are my experiences with love and rejection, from culture to culture, my ratio in America is probably 1:10,000, every 10,000 girls I talk to I get a girlfriend, i have had a few random hookups, meaning literally a few, as in three in america and all where out of desperation, they were attracted to me and I was not attracted to them. I had one significant relation ship in America as well.
In South America, my ratio is 1:3, I have had three serious relationships there and several near serious relationships. Why is this? Women are kinder, my american accent is a turn on, I remind them of a south american action, the average height is a couple inches shorter and women are not turned off by body hair, in fact some like it. . . So I am complaining that the majority of my life in my own country, the United Corporations of America I have been alone, I was doing the same thing here in America, I am just as much of a nice, entertaining, kind guy as I am here and there. Also I had to start by own business's to get work and that's with a top 50 college degree...... I will stop the complaining here, otherwise It will be a few more pages.

I've only gone out with NT females. What was it like? Well, it was a relationship. I make a good boyfriend for most women of my type, but inevitably after a few months of not giving my 'special interests' any time I end up feeling burned out. The result is me committing too much time to my interests after that point and the relationship often fails.

Thankfully I am with a woman now who is 'NT' but she is very much like me in being relatively asocial and committed to routine and certain interests. Sometimes I wonder if maybe she doesn't have mild AS like I do and that is why we complete each other so well, but it wouldn't matter to me either way

In any case its important to make time for yourself if you need routines, as it can lead to problems later. Maybe I am alone in this but a few other people, women & men I have talked to here seem to have gone through similar situations at one point or another

I think this is true regaurdless if you are NT, AS.. we as individuals need to remain individuals but find someone who compliments us and who we compliment. Being in a relationship doesn't have to mean that you cease to exist as you and in fact it does as you said cause issues later. Imagine being married 12 years giving up everything and every piece of your identiy to be the 'wife and mother' only to wake up at 38 and realize you have to reinvent yourself lol

I've never dated another girl with AS, but only one of them was really "normal". I never told her about my DX, so I have no idea how she would've felt about it. As for dating her, it was a mixed bag. She did the "typical girl" thing of expecting me to read her mind a lot, and never directly telling me how she felt about things. We only dated for a few months, but ironically, she's the only ex I still ever talk to.

Pretty much every other girl I've ever been in a relationship/went on a date with have just either been "weird" or just plain coo-coo for cocoa puffs.

This is true but you should ask yourself , are you that unhappy and suffocated being a mother and a wife that you need to reinvent yourself or is it societies push for you to do so? Many marriages end because of this push or because of "friends", with television shows like desperate house wives, real housewives etc etc all of this push for women to go out an be themselves, "girls night out, girls nights out, girl time", "make over", which leaves one's relationship susceptible to infidelity, "shopping dates", "sex and the city - prime example" "I know there are some women who thrive in this environment or even need it but there are many women who don't, I feel women are being hypnotized and being fed subliminal messages to control spending, relationships, (through divorce the state gets way more money fast), at some point women need to ask themselves, Is there so much that's really wrong with me in the first place? Is this really not enough for me?

Personally I think being a mother is a very hard job, a mother can greatly help or horribly deter her children to a successful life or horrible disaster or somewhere in between. Being in a monogamous relationships has its ups and downs but its proven the ones that last are the happiest, live the longest,

Also, what's the sense in being in a relationship if you don't want to spend time together?

well, I found my advice thread, so I shall link it.


http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt148805.html

there are lots of reasons for a person to feel they've disappeared. In my case it had nothing to do with tv altho desperate housewives is very funny in an unrealistic way. I think what happened is exactely what was written in the threat that I responded to. I gave up all the things I enjoyed, singing, drawing, friends, family.....(not talking about girls nite out) simply conversations, picnics, whatever.. I did not retain the identity of Tami instead I became his wife, their mother and the person I was disappeared completely. (bit like being in a daydream.. your going about your life your a great mom and a great wife but your on auto pilot) One day you wake up maybe it's because someone noticed "you" not the outer person but the one inside the one that had been yes stiffled for a lot of years , the one that was witty and charming and had ideas, dreams and thoughts that at one time mattered..... it sounds terribly depressing but the point is when you give up everything those things that make you laugh or smile or debate or calm you down.... eventually possibly out of self preservation you miss them and need them but because it's been so long you dont remember what they were you just know that the current situation is dystroying you.



completely agree here



I agree with you there as well the question wasn't with not spending time together it was with giving up those things that interest you. What i'm suggesting is that you can have both a happy fullfilling relationship with someone; without having to let go of the things you enjoy the most.

He'll probably wind up with a girl who is introduced to him by friends or a girl who joins a group he is already a part of or a girl who he is friends with first.

Jeez, are you high maintenance or what?