Devestated after this!

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Earlier today i travelled to a speed dating centre. at the front of speed dating centre this person who worked there with a clipboard and asked me a few questions and one of them was "are you a good communicator" i said "no" then the person who asked me the questions said to my face "I am sorry but seeing as your a guy since you have not social skills up to our standards we don't think it is a good idea for you to take part in the speed dating programme today. Sorry for any inconveniance we may have caused you" Me being the spinless pushover i am i just walked away on the verge of a meltdown I was in a line as well for 20 minuties waiting behding other guys and girls since apperently it was standard policy in this particular speed dating programe i took part in.

Any advice on what i can do about this becuase my poor communication skills are holding me back terribly and this is only 2 months after being dumped by my first girlfriend because of my awkwardness and poor social skills.

Should I not take what happened today too much to heart?

I wouldn't take it personally. Things like speed dating rely on social skills as it's an unnatural environment and you only have a minute to get to know people.

Next time you go, just lie and say "yes", then they won't kick you out. What they don't know can't hurt them.

I know but i was really eager to do it but i crashed and burned.

any good social skills training courses?

My advice is to put absolutely no effort into finding a girlfriend. You're much better off focusing on your own life/interests and letting the GF situation resolve itself.

When I was your age, I didn't think I would ever find a GF, but six years on she just turned up on my doorstep and asked me round to her place for a cup of tea; there was no real effort on my part, it just happened.

Yeah true. i suppouse since i live in england its easier to meet girls and make friends over here than it is in the States so that can only be a good thing.

She just showed up on your doorstep? Sounds like a stalker to me...

I'm with dunbots. My one and only experience with speed dating, it seemed superficial. But if you want to do speed dating, game the system. Is it a polite lie. Sure, saying "yes" is a polite lie, or may be, but I think it's fine.

Speed dating can be awkward for perfectly normally functioning individuals. That whole "has trouble with iniciating and the give-take of conversations" makes it really hard in a situation where you only have a short time to see if someone piques your interest. Also a lot of people do speed dating just for a fun experience, when my sister goes, she isn't looking for someone to be in a relationship with. Sure if that happens it's nice, but she's not disappointed either way. You should also consider the type of girl who speed dates may not be the type you want to date.

But yeah, you could always liee and say yes to that question.

Wow. Good God. That is almost borderline dehumanizing behavior on the part of this corporate idiot. I would have been shocked and appalled, too, and probably would not have said anything either. The person behind you should have spoken up on your behalf (better world), but they were probably surprised and focusing on getting in themselves. Not realizing that this was a game changing, the stakes are suddenly much different.

It was as if they were "politely" informing you that you were the wrong religion.

And the fact that they went on and on, that it's this closed human face going on and on. That's makes it worse.

Yeah curse my aspie honesty.

Some little corporate shrill. Then it's a pounce.

you answer reasonable honestly. Then they throw down with this three sentence speech, 'sorry for the inconvenience.' Go jump in a lake, lady.

And a clear better alternative, the person could have coached you. 'Well, it's just having a conversation. Asking you what you like to do, and then you ask them what do they like to do . . . '

That sounds like a better approach.

WHo is this for? Anyone or specific types of people? They must have said when they advertised.

And they might have too many guys anyway or anticipating too many guys (what usually happens), and then trying to pick the 'Ken' type of guys. the pretty boys. the frat boys. That kind of thing

That is, the whole thing may be majorly insincere.

Doesn't necessarily soften those awful words.

Society is sh***y to us aspies

unnecessarily so