Advice for Future Aspie Wife!! :)

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MKH
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Age: 34
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31 Mar 2011, 4:33 am

I'm engaged to be married in December of this year. I am fairly Aspie myself (Daddy's side), but my intended has actually been diagnosed by a therapist (mine is pure speculation by my intended, my parents, and myself) and has a more severe case than I do. I would like ANY AND ALL information you may have to help with my future marriage.

I've found so far that telling him when he alienates or hurts me works well, as he can see where my hurt or alienation comes from if I explain it. I would like to know if there is anything I can do to help prevent the alienation from occurring in the first place, if that is even possible.

He is a very sweet, kind, and loving man, he just needs some help understanding me. Usually, he doesn't understand that he comes off cold when he does- for instance, sounding angry at me for a situation out of my control when I am trying to help him fix it, simply because he believes it's obvious his frustration is at the situation, not at me personally.

The fact that I have some Aspie tendencies helps too, because I can tell him when he hurts me in a way he understands.

Other than what I'm currently doing, is there anything else we could try?

Thank you so much!! :D



BTDT
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31 Mar 2011, 8:36 am

You need to balance the time he spends alone with the time you spend together. Aspies aren't very good at multitasking, so finding this balance is harder than for NTs.

I'm fortunate enough to have lots of vacation time--I've learned it makes sense to take a day or two off to unwind and get ready for a real vacation. Otherwise, I might waste my vacation thinking about work. :(



MXH
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31 Mar 2011, 9:43 am

Just posted to say nice username