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I met a hot guy with AS today, but...

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Chronos
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19 Mar 2011, 2:39 am

He was married.

In fact, I've come across more married men with AS than married women with AS.



jamieboy
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19 Mar 2011, 2:42 am

Men have it easier. Is that what your saying? :mrgreen:



Chronos
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19 Mar 2011, 2:51 am

jamieboy wrote:
Men have it easier. Is that what your saying? :mrgreen:


No. I was simply recounting an experience I had today and an observational afterthought it brought to mind.

It also seems to me that NT women are quick to snatch up eligible men, and utilize their rather cunning covert manipulation skills and intuition to win them over, which really puts us women with AS at a disadvantage.



jamieboy
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19 Mar 2011, 2:59 am

I think NT men are more thoughtless and worry and think less. Therefore they are less self-critical and approach women without fear of failure.

I don't recall ever approaching a woman in that way. Both fear of failure and other things are stopping me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Mar 2011, 3:04 am

You can have an affair with him.



ToadOfSteel
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19 Mar 2011, 3:11 am

Chronos wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
Men have it easier. Is that what your saying? :mrgreen:


No. I was simply recounting an experience I had today and an observational afterthought it brought to mind.

It also seems to me that NT women are quick to snatch up eligible men, and utilize their rather cunning covert manipulation skills and intuition to win them over, which really puts us women with AS at a disadvantage.


Well I can tell you that I, for one, have not been "snatched up", nor have most of the AS guys on this forum...

I'm just simply recounting an experience I've had on these forums and an observational afterthought it brought to mind... :roll:



Chronos
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19 Mar 2011, 3:27 am

jamieboy wrote:
I think NT men are more thoughtless and worry and think less. Therefore they are less self-critical and approach women without fear of failure.

I don't recall ever approaching a woman in that way. Both fear of failure and other things are stopping me.


Well, I'm not approached by eligible men left and right or with any significant frequency.



jamieboy
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19 Mar 2011, 3:31 am

Chronos wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
I think NT men are more thoughtless and worry and think less. Therefore they are less self-critical and approach women without fear of failure.

I don't recall ever approaching a woman in that way. Both fear of failure and other things are stopping me.


Well, I'm not approached by eligible men left and right or with any significant frequency.


Do you ever go out to places where that kind of thing happens?



lotusblossom
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19 Mar 2011, 3:42 am

Chronos wrote:
He was married.

In fact, I've come across more married men with AS than married women with AS.

most of the dads at 'parenting AS children' groups have AS and are married to NT women.



CrinklyCrustacean
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19 Mar 2011, 4:04 am

jamieboy wrote:
I think NT men are more thoughtless and worry and think less. Therefore they are less self-critical and approach women without fear of failure.

You should have seen my NT brother a few weeks back, when he wanted to ask out a girl. He didn't know what to say or how to do it either, and it made him very self-conscious. They have been not-terribly-close friends for 3 years, and he was really worried that she might not like him after he told her how he felt. Oh, and and it wasn't the first time he'd asked out a girl either -- he'd had a girlfriend for his final three years of school.



Chronos
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19 Mar 2011, 4:55 am

jamieboy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
I think NT men are more thoughtless and worry and think less. Therefore they are less self-critical and approach women without fear of failure.

I don't recall ever approaching a woman in that way. Both fear of failure and other things are stopping me.


Well, I'm not approached by eligible men left and right or with any significant frequency.


Do you ever go out to places where that kind of thing happens?


Well I go out to public places rather routinely but apparently those aren't the types of places that that kind of thing happens.



harry_j_83
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19 Mar 2011, 7:39 am

lotusblossom wrote:
Chronos wrote:
He was married.

In fact, I've come across more married men with AS than married women with AS.

most of the dads at 'parenting AS children' groups have AS and are married to NT women.


this is absolutely true. i wish it wans't but effectively, the last man i heard of who attended an autism related talk was AS himself.



harry_j_83
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19 Mar 2011, 7:44 am

Chronos wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
jamieboy wrote:
I think NT men are more thoughtless and worry and think less. Therefore they are less self-critical and approach women without fear of failure.

I don't recall ever approaching a woman in that way. Both fear of failure and other things are stopping me.


Well, I'm not approached by eligible men left and right or with any significant frequency.


Do you ever go out to places where that kind of thing happens?


Well I go out to public places rather routinely but apparently those aren't the types of places that that kind of thing happens.


i share that frustration, whether its bars, through friends, at work, at uni or online dating, i'm always told "well you can't expect to meet anyone in this context". no i somehow doubt that all AS men are married; it may seem like that right now to you but it a

not to go off subject, but what sort of aspects are you looking for in a man?



harry_j_83
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19 Mar 2011, 7:46 am

i half finished that first sentence!

no i was just saying it may seem like everyone's paired up but they can't possibly be, especially for AS men who will have obvious difficulties



poppyfields
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19 Mar 2011, 10:09 am

I think things like severity play into this. If an AS man has found a typical nerd job, say as a software developer with a stable salary, and a few close friends even if not many, he has a lot easier time than someone with more unusual special interests, or who struggled in school, or someone with more obvious social deficits (like poor hygiene, picking nose in public, etc).



Tias
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19 Mar 2011, 1:24 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You can have an affair with him.

you better be f*****g joking = /