How do you deal with people that suddenly lose interest?

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That seems to be the case with people I talk to on my online dating profile. On the rare occasions I actually get responses, I usually get to talk with them for a little while, but then they suddenly stop responding. And since it's incredibly rude and/or borderline stalkerish for me to send more than one message without a response, I have no idea how to contact them, or even attempt to learn what I did that put them off like that. Am i just that boring that i can't even be helped?

Don't. You're not going to find out.


Possibly, but I don't say that to be a jerk. I was like that too. Learn to either A) be more interesting or B) learn how to keep a conversation going. Are you asking proactive questions that require a response, or making statements about either yourself or what she has said to you?

To the topic question: Next. Don't dwell on it, move on to the next person you could talk to.

They lose interest when they don't find you interesting enough or when they find someone else who's more interesting/attractive. That's called subtle rejection , girls do it all the time.

Well, if you're boring, I must be too. I imagine everyone has these sudden drop out moments. Tis the nature of online dating.

Oh yeah. I deal with them by letting them go. I've never been that interested in someone over OKcupid anyhoo.

Is it really incredibly rude and/or borderline stalkerish? OK, by your 18th unreturned message, yes -- it's both. But, one follow-up -- after a week or so has gone by -- along the lines of, "I was a little disappointed not to hear back from you ... I hope I didn't say something to offend you" (or whatever seems appropriate under the circumstances) might jump start the conversation. People on online dating sites may be juggling multiple conversations and people (or multiples of multiples), and it sometimes takes considerable effort to maintain a certain momentum. Which kind of begs the question, if it takes that much effort??? But, you may be in a position where a little more effort is required and will pay off. All of this is just to say what I did originally: to take the position every time you hit <send> that, if she doesn't answer *this* e-mail it's over, may be a little too drastic.

I think you just havent met the right lady yet. And you have the problem of being completely unaware of how young you are.

I consider this to be just part of online dating, I do it and people do it to me. Someone did send a "where did you go?" message once, and it actually rekindled the conversation before I lost interest again.

I think that one follow-up message is OK, after that it's definitely time to move on...

It's not just online dating though. Even among friends, such as here on WP, I'll have PM chains going back and forth. And then the other person will just drop it. I was the last person to send a message and I'm waiting and waiting and finally I just decide to send another to see whats going on. Then I get accused of being distant... I mean seriously, WTF? I had the last word until then, how am I the one being distant?

Their being spazz's just slap them in the face with your phallus and they'l know who's boss then

I seriously hope you're not referring to me.

LOL. You're so offensive.

Madam you have not seen even a fraction of the depths i am willing to go in the name of indecency and filth

No I wasn't referring to you (although id find it very nice if you spoke to me more often ). There have been plenty of people, women and men both, on here that will just suddenly stop talking to me. Sometimes it's just due to them leaving the forums altogether, other times I have no idea what happened.

Could it be that the conversation just ran its course, that there was little more to say?

This ^

Happens to me all the time, I never think about it much. Seems like the conversation usually continues when there's something new to talk about.

You shouldn't take it too personally...

same here.
it generally starts up again when someone has something interesting to say.