Why have I been so unsuccessful with OKCupid?

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Exactly what the title says. I've been on OKCupid for at least over 6 months now and I haven't gotten a single dat once, not once. Every now and then it looks like I might get a date with someone, but every single time, the person I was chatting to has just stopped replying for no apparent reason. I have recently moved off OKCupid to actual email with a particular girl who had actually agreed to meet me a couple of weeks from now. However, after my last on Friday in which I was trying to organizing the plans with her, I haven't received any further response.

I know that she was on-line on Saturday because she had a green dot next to name on my Google chat list when I logged in to my Gmail account. I suppose it may be too early to say that this date isn't going to happen but I'm not hopeful. My 31 birthday is going to be later this month and I still haven't gotten a date. Is it time to give up on OKCupid?

In about 6 months, I only got 3 messages from OkCupid: two from across the world (on of them seemed to be a bot), which I wasn't interested because of the distance, and one who probably felt offended by my ret*d answer.
There was also one girl I tried to contact and got no reply. According to OkCupid, she supposedly replies often. Compared to me, I would say you are doing pretty good.

By the way, what do you guys say on your first message to someone on OkCupid? I frankly have no clue of what I should type. Should I just say "Hi, how are you?"

No . . . it's a somewhat grueling process with a very low percentage payoff from effort, but when you do have dates, you already have the connection with the person. I think in some way, you are completing portions of the first date or two via online communication. Maybe even more. This way, you discover that you are incompatible without spending the time or money you would otherwise have spent on a date.

So . . . you finish some of the early stages in exchanges, and if you can keep these up for a few back-and-forths, you were already successful.

I've had three meetups in about three years, and two of those were as friends. I'm satisfied with that even though I haven't been successful yet. I've had a lot more just fizzle out and disappear (including the one actual date who apparently found me so loathsome that he refused to respond to my message offering to give him back his video game that he loaned me during our first of two dates).

I think you should keep with it.

Just let her know you're there if she wants to chat. Maybe she's not ready to meet just yet but be cool about it and just keep communicating. At least you have possibilities. I disabled my account cause a person I was just chatting with got too weird.

I wound up ON OKC because of the BAP Phenotype quiz, while not noticing I was signing up for it
for some reason.

I usually just use whatever the first thing that comes to mind is. Could be a compliment, could be a
question about something on their profile. Could just be OKC picked you as a match and I like your
profile.

My experience is about the same as everyones I think. Mostly abrupt ends to what looked like promising
conversations, though I'm hopeful on one centered around a mutual interest.

Maybe you're messaging her too often, or not enough, or sending messages that are too long, who knows! I'm never sure how much to text girls. Despite texting and internet being new mediums, there are already vague social rules in place for how to do it. They must be conformed to in order to not scare her off, and they must occasionally broken to keep things interesting. You never know. You'll just have to use trial and error and careful analysis to gradually get better at things like that.

And also, online dating might just suck. I created profiles but haven't added pictures yet; I want them to be super attractive and I need someone to take them for me but I'm embarrassed to ask.

I haven't had much success with it, either.

You could be dealing with a number of things:

*something on your profile is turning them off (either something you state outright, or imply)
*you haven't answered many questions and so not many compatible women wind up on your profile
*your profile just isn't detailed enough
*you don't have pictures uploaded, or the ones you have aren't flattering
*nothing on your profile stands out- what makes YOU unique?

and on and on.

It's always disappointing when you do make contact with someone, and get your hopes up, only to have things fizzle out with no obvious explanation. I think it's worse than never having gone through that at all.

I've had 0 success with it.

I wonder if Geek2Geek would be a better site for us. I wanted my son to use it, but he couldn't find any women on the site who were Christian in the one week he looked at the site.

Try to find a girlfriend in the workplace.

Well i've made bugger all effort on the site but i've made a new friend out of it. So I guess thats success for me for a first run anyway.

I think next month i'm going to ditch my profile and actually make a determined effort with the site. Though i seem to get more people actually directly approaching me then most people seem to have. Though from what i've been told its because I have long hair Ah bless its not just men who are shallow on that site