Am I attracted to pain?

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It's been my experience that relationship stuff usually involves a lot of pain. When I was in a relationship with a girl & we weren't physically near each other; it was very painful. When our relationship was going good but something as wrong like she was sick or something; it was very painful. When we were having problems in the relationship; it was very painful. When we broke up; it was very painful. After we were broken up a while & I missed her; it was very painful. When I like someone who doesn't know I exist; it's very painful. Getting rejected/turned down is very painful as well. When I think about everything & try to analyze it all; there is quite a lot of pain involved. It seems very illogical for me to want a relationship considering how much pain is involved. Am I attracted or addicted to pain Why can I not be happy being single instead of feeling pain

Emotions cause pain, and wanting/not wanting pain seems to be one of those ironic things about life. Originally, I thought your post was going to be related to masochism.

I think wanting to be happy is a separate desire from wanting pain. You want a good relationship. The fact that your relationships have usually or always caused pain is a side issue. Most humans feel the urge to merge with another, that's natural, and desire for pain usually doesn't enter into it. In fact, I would say that people are often inclined to ignore the potential for pain, and only focus on the potential for pleasure. You need to get a more balanced idea about it. There is the potential for nice things to come from relationships, and there is also likely to be some pain.

There's a quote you hear all the time in different forms to the effect of "if it hurts me, at least I know I'm alive".
Drama can make you feel meaningful.

Drama tends to cause major problems for me including bad meltdowns. I know there is the potential for pleasure without pain & I'm willing to deal with the pain but based on my experience it seems realistically highly unlikely that I would ever be able to have a decent relationship with anyone & knowing that is very painful as well. I've analyzed this a lot & logically I would be better off if I could quit desiring one.

If you stopped trying to start a relationship you'd feel lonely, so you'd still have emotional pain.

Life itself is painful.

I quit trying to start em because it kept making things worse for me & for the women I kinda liked

to quote the amazing bob marley - 'The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.'

Everything in life, or even life itself is painfull...
Especially when you try to get something you yearn for, and it all ends
in disaster.

That is why I stay in the house 24/7 on the computer, which makes life so boring,
but not as painfull....

My relationships did not have enough pain for me, untill I was brave enough to ask to be spanked. Now I am attracted to only pain, and feel it every time I grip the bed for another administration of stern discipline.

You are not alone.

I am in a lot of pain too. I wish there was a way to just get rid of pain and suffering for all eternity. I just hope that we I die I will find the everlasting peace and calmness that I am so begging for.