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Solvejg
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10 Apr 2011, 8:09 pm

Ok there is a woman i have known for quite a while, sort of a friend by proxy, not a friend friend but not an acquaintance. Our children play together and we used to go to the same mothers group type thing at the local church (it was a community group but in the church hall so not religious in any way.) Well she was single because her husband walked out on her and her 2 boys and I was single because my ex did the same. Her ex went off sleeping with other women and being a party guy. Then he came crawling back and she welcomed him home.

My children go to a local childcare centre and today i saw a guy dropping off the children so i asked him if he is their dad and he said yes. I said "My son will be so excited that he has X to play with today." As I was leaving he asked me for a coffee. I said no and then he hugged me. WTF! I pushed him away. :oops:

What do I do now? Do I tell his wife that he put the moves on me? Or do I just leave it. :(

He could have been wanting to be friends but i just get a feeling that he wanted more. :?:


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conundrum
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10 Apr 2011, 11:31 pm

Despite his history, a hug does not "the moves" make on its own. Leave it alone. If he cheats again it'll be in a big way and she will find out, but it won't be your "fault."

Here's what I mean by that: if you tell her, and she gets rid of him, she'll be mad at you for "making" her push him (her kids' father) away. If they stay together, she'll still be mad at you for bringing it up and possibly "causing trouble."

In cases like this, it will somehow be your fault if you say anything at all, no matter what the outcome. Your kids and her kids play together, and if she gets angry at you they will suffer for it, needlessly because a hug doesn't prove anything anyway. Let it go.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Apr 2011, 11:42 pm

I wouldn't tell her, but I would be careful not to be alone with her husband. Ever.

I've learned to stay out of other people's relationships. I give advice only when I feel I've been asked, and I most certainly do NOT mention potential cheating.

1) I could be wrong (though I never have been)
2) I refuse to be demonized.


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Solvejg
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11 Apr 2011, 12:08 am

The hug involved bottom stroking. So not an innocent hug IYGWIM. :?

I wasn't alone with him as it was. I was in the reception area with about 6 other people. I am sure if we were alone, he would have tried more.

I will not tell her but if my partner did it, i would want to know. :(


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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11 Apr 2011, 12:14 am

You wouldn't want to know if you were in her position. If you tell her, she'll feel like a fool and like a PP has said is very likely to become angry with you.

I figured you weren't alone with him, but it's a good idea to never be alone with him. Avoiding any kind of contact with him when she isn't there is probably your best option.


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Solvejg
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11 Apr 2011, 12:42 am

I have never met him before and hopefully never will again. He was a creepy.

I only know who he was because of his children. At least he had the class not to do it in front of our kids. :x


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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11 Apr 2011, 12:44 am

Of course he did. He didn't want them telling mommy he touched her friend's butt.


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11 Apr 2011, 9:24 pm

My mom gave the guy the option to tell his wife himself. We did lose our playmates who had the best toys on the block but I have so much respect for my mom for handling it like she did. Knowing his previous history she already knows he's a sleeze. Treat him like any other pervert get some pepper spray or taser and be ready next time.