Have you given up on dating?

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I haven't even started but I feel like I've already surrendered. There are just so many things that happen in my life that make little sense to me, people seem to exclude me for reasons that I can't deduce (But I feel like I can infer), my interactions with others, regardless of the mood or whatever, seem somewhat 'artificial' and they seem... weird. And, I'm not depressed, at least not according to that one depression test. I'm thinking something autism-related might be responsible for a lot of it or possibly it's speech-deficit related(Except that verbal test on psychtests said my verbal IQ was 139), but it just feels like there's a mysterious 'dark force' that declared "No, nothing will happen for you the way you might like with people, despite the best of your intentions! Sure, you may be great at mathematics and technology, but people are something you will never understand and successfully interact with!". I get the impression the general public thinks of me as being crazy (or situationally stupid). And I don't mean, "Boy, look at that CRAZY PARTY ANIMAL GO!", I mean like... nutty nutso. Especially when I make what I think are apt, clever analogies in various social situations and the only thing I get is effectively a blank stare or a "..." response.

So, have you given up on dating? Care to detail your reasons why?

I wish I could give up, life would be so much easier. But as soon as I would "give up" that is when my true love would come and I wouldn't even know it, as I would have given up. >.<

Can you give up if you didnt start?

If yes then add me to the list.

That's funny. I often hear "Your true love finds you when you aren't even looking", so presumably I should be due any day now.

I know and the problem is where you meet people can sometime be overwhelming and distracting when trying to concentrate on connecting-I am super pathetic at meeting people.

But I don't understand that phrase. How do you recognize it if you aren't looking? You'll be like, "You're a friend, yay!" and accidentally friendzone the person. D:

What, the friendzone actually exists?! !! *gasp*

LIES! LIES! I WAS TOLD THEY WERE RUMORS!

Just joking. Um, I think when they 'say that', they mean you're focusing on other parts of your life and you're not being downtrodden by your dismal romantic success, so your confidence and happiness with life increases which attracts the 'right person' into your life (And you soon recognize that person as the 'right person', so the 'friend zone' thing doesn't happen.), which then completes you and then you live happily ever after. Or something like that.

Except, if you're not happy and confident with your life, I don't think that rule applies. (Darn it.)

Last edited by swbluto on 11 Apr 2011, 9:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Damn. I have a lot of work to do then. >.<

No-one has ever asked me out for a date. I asked a woman out for a date once and it ended in humiliation and disaster. Second time I did it, I sort of got the message anyway.

So there's not a lot to give up on. I'm sticking out of it. I still wouldn't mind getting laid.

There is no fate, there are only sorting and searching algorithms when it comes to dating.

Out of over 6.5 billion humans on earth, one of them is almost certainly compatible with you. Discovering the criteria for compatibility is NP-Complete. Searching for a mate on these criteria is also NP-Complete. Verifying compatibility is O(n) in time complexity, at the least.

There is no easy solution to such a hard problem with such a large sample size. Ackermann(3,3) probably looks pretty good compared to the complexity of discovering a compatible partner.

To compound matters, human language is far too blunt to be of any use in describing how one searched through the sample space. Too many vague or meaningless words make each attempt start from brute-force or pretty close to it.

This isn't meant to be depressing or inspiring.

That's the logic I'm going with.

At this point I'm even slightly annoyed when friends come to my house.

Exactly!

In regard to the "searching through the sample space problem", the obvious solution would be an AI replication of your personality, making duplicates many times over, and then sending those AI-bots all over the internet to scout out the most personality-compatible users. Now, I just need to figure out the A.I. part... (And acquiring the funds to buy the many super-computers needed.)

Meh, let's wait another couple of decades, and processing power and AI technology should be sufficiently advanced to make this a trivial problem to solve. Pressing the "execute search" button would then become an O(1) problem.

[Funny thing is that I actually tried creating a program that would analyze my verbal patterns, and I was planning on deploying that program, via spider, all over the internet to find others with similar verbal patterns who would then likely have similar thinking patterns. But, I ran the software on my text and I realized I would need A LOT of text in a centrally organized and parse-able manner to get any promising results and I couldn't find a resource online that was organized in such a way. Hmmm... *thinks back to the problem*... I've got it! Create a forum-downloading spider that cultivates all the posts generated by a person and then run the analytical software! I'm seeing it now! MY FUTURE IS CERTAIN!]

Last edited by swbluto on 11 Apr 2011, 10:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

well to open up old wounds and rattle off my list of successes that dwindled quickly in college and beyond, i think at one time, i knew or at least was more confident about what relationships/dating/love was all about. well take one heartbreaking relationship and then relationships after that turning out to be just silly fwb BS and not being extroverted so not having a wingman or a social group of friends to latch onto to get more dates/etc and the fact that [relationships] in college truly become a f*****g oxymoron as it more about f***s than actually giving a true f**k about the person and add in alcohol and add in the fact that women and men are more interested these days in prolonging their bachelor/bachelorette days thanks to the demands of career/social/moral/ and personal needs/wants that you really have to fit a nice good clean cut reliable relatable box of goods that the average woman would want as you are physically/mentally/emotionally/socially/financially/morally/ethically/philosophically/ and all other -ally's that you are compatible to their wants and needs. love is f****d up and people f**k up love because they are stupid arrogant selfish beings. but its love, and love is fun. but whatever. 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce usually with that whole irreconcilable differences reasoning. and really as long as people have twitter/facebook and their cellphone who in the f**k has time to date? because we all know love has to be one big BS stupid hollywood game for everyone else to get all cynical and hateful about the players and losers of the whole f*****g love game. but you cant please people. and you cant please people to love you. so yeah be single and lonely and figure in time something is wrong with you but no one will f*****g tell you what it is and so you'll be that 45 year old bachelor and by then all women will give up on you because you just didnt get right early in life. yay!

I quit trying for a relationship because I've ran into lots of problems as a result that I'm much better off without. If I had the money & skills to travel; I would do the mail-order bride thing because the dating scene is impossible for me; need to find a method around it

I've given up on dating in terms I'm not trying to meet people or get a boyfriend. It's what I need atm now though, some self chill time. Perhaps in future.

I'm personally thinking about making my thousands and then going overseas where humans are cheap and choosing the best significant-other-to-be. These Americans are just too expensive, in terms of financial and emotional demands and "Gotta have likable personality traits and views"(I.e., not the view expressed in this post... if taken literally. ), I tell you.