What I've learned so far in Online Dating

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I've been exploring online dating for the past few days and I learned a few things about making an appealing profile and starting conversations with people. When it comes to actually dating, I do need to learn more, but here is what I learned so far:

1. In a profile, don't tell; show. Anyone, for example can say that they are intelligent, but rather than just saying it, you can let it exude from your writing. Don't just say you are funny, but make a joke.

2. Keep negativity to a minimum. Don't make excessively large laundry lists of too many traits you do not want, as they may be subjective and you can discern things yourself.

3. Don't lie, exaggerate, or deceive in your profile. In the short run, you might get more clicks, but in the long run when you meet face to face with the other person, they will feel shortchanged.

4. It is best to include as many photos as possible, at least 4. They should be undoctored, for reasons stated in 3. So they can have an understanding of what you actually look like, rather than what you look like at just one camera angle.

5. Make your profile description long and detailed with specifics. I've seen numerous profiles with very a brief and vague description, but even though the people were attractive, I just would not know what to talk with them about and would not message them.

Just some things I've picked up.

If you would like to add ideas or discuss what I wrote, I welcome your reply.

Are you a man or a woman? And I was wondering if I should put my height and weight? I'm not sure if girls like thinner men or not?

Good advice.

On 5, I wouldn't go too long.

I think the first one you noted is very basic, but I'm still surprised that there are lots of people out there - be it facebook or okcupid - that screw it up. Also, on your last advice, I would add that you need to avoid generic terms. It says volumes about a person who puts down "has a sense of humor" or "kind and loving"... it for 1.) makes you look desperate and 2.) that you don't care who you pick up, so long as you pick someone up. People on these sites are looking for compatibility and they are looking for that "right" one.


I'd like to add three(one of which is a slight variation on one of yours), and maybe we can compile a list for future reference:

1.) Obsessions - increased tech and social advancements(as opposed to the answering machine or a letter in the mail) like "poke" or "new message" alerts sent to you as texts can make it easy to over-obsess with the person of your affection, and if the other person finds out about that, can make you look like a needy person. Not healthy for you or your relationship. Don't get too emotionally invested.

2.) Photos - You need to show a well-rounded life. The photos you choose indirectly show off different qualities about you. While some photos showing displaying you as a sex craving party machine or shirtless chugging beers down at a party is okay, you also need to (or in some cases, more importantly)show some photos that showcase your humanity. Show ones with you and your family or children, show one at a public function or volunteering event, or one with you visiting somewhere like Paris, the backpacking through a forest, or at a musical festival.

3.) Selectivity = Exclusivity - You need to make the person you are trying to bait on whatever dating service you are on feel "exclusive" or as if they are the one you are looking for. Don't give broad answers, and even feel a bit liberal to put specifics down. You will greatly limit the number of women you attract, but your selectivity on your part will help both you and the person who is attracted to that profile.

I am a man.

Certainly put your height, no question about it.

You don't need to post your exact weight as photos of you would be enough.

It depends on the woman. Some don't mind somewhat overweight men and some prefer more athletic men, but being very overweight, IMO, cuts your options in half..

I wasn't sure if girls actually liked you.

As a woman I find that posting a video like the one below gets a lot of attention but it's often the kind of attention you don't really want lol. Still it was fun to do lol.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYVNUZgewms[/youtube]

Personally, I've found that the profiles means nothing in the long run. While having a good profile is good way to establish contact with someone, the real test comes when you actually meet that person.

My biggest frustration with online dating is that I may think that I've met someone that I'm compatible with, but the whole connection usually falls apart after we meet. I don't even know what's worse: that I am usually rejected after meeting someone that I've met online or the fact that they are usually nice about it (i.e. they say that they enjoyed getting together, but that they don't want to pursue a relationship with me).

they do, fat girls used to ask me out all the time