I uncontrollably perseverate over failed romantic endeavors

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How do I get these thoughts regarding my ex-gf's to cease? I can't stop thinking about them and it's creating awful thought patterns that kill any semblance of productivity. They destroy my emotional well-being.

The last relationship was as meaningless as the one that preceded it. All I was trying to do was get laid in both relationships and then I was so affectionate and spent so much time with the girl that I developed feelings for her after a few weeks of this. There was no mental connection in either relationship. Especially in the last relationship, there was zilch for a mental connection and I didn't really think of her when I wasn't around her, which is something entirely different from my previous relationship. Now that I dumped her, I can't stop thinking about her.

How do I stop thinking about this garbage? The answer is not to meet another girl. There's a possibility that if I don't figure something out, I could be thinking of her for the rest of the summer when I didn't even value that relationship very much. What the hell...

That's a tough situation and I'm not sure this will help, but ... could you try making a list of what you really want or need in a partner, then take a look at how well these girls 'measured up'? That might help put things in perspective and make you a little better prepared to look for someone new later on.

it's still happening, argggggh. i feel like i have to keep looking for host for these feelings because they hurt so much.

Dude, I've been dealing this s**t for a year and a half now... i dont think it's ever going to completely go away. Not unless a miracle happens and someone else comes into my life. It's not even about ego for me, it's about necessity. I've needed to feel like someone loves me and cares about me for years, and being in that short-lived relationship only proved the feelings I have. Being with someone... anyone... made me feel more alive, less like a monster and more like an actual human being. Being out of all that though, I've felt the rage build up over time, and more recently in very stressful situations its been starting to boil over. My family isn't much of a help at all, most of the time they don't seem to care about my feelings either. Bottom line: I need someone to save me... from myself.

It's awful, dude. I went through three 1-4 mos long relationships at 24 and now I'm addicted to this feeling of being in love. It's the end of the semester at the local university I don't even go to (long graduated college, lol) and I don't have a job right now. I'm just waiting to hear back from a Master's program that is almost definitely accepting me for the fall.

Still, it's going to be these next 4 mos between now and graduate school when I don't have anybody in my life. All my friends will be gone, I probably won't find work, and I doubt I'll meet some girl through a bar. I'm totally miserable right now.

As you said, all of this confirmed deeply seated fears of how catastrophic these first few relationships would be for me. I even dumped the last girl. I should be feeling good about that. Instead, I keep running through suicidal ideations. I realize how ridiculous of an idea it is. It makes me feel really comfortable and good for some reason to just see an end to all of this suffering.

The only thing that made me feel good recently was going into a tinychat and watching some girls react to what I guess is a handsome face and tell me that I was way better than my ex. I really freaking wish it was that easy in real life.

The problem I generally have in this area is that I obsess with "what if" scenarios. Since most of my courtship attempts have failed, I always reminiss about what I could have done better.