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Handling obsessive tendencies

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Weiss_Yohji
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25 Apr 2011, 11:32 pm

Whenever I'm attracted to a woman, I sometimes get obsessive. How am I supposed to handle this? I try to catch myself before it gets worse and rein back, but I feel like I just can't help but get obsessed.



sunshower
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25 Apr 2011, 11:35 pm

I have the same problem when I get attracted to guys. I think it's difficult to stop yourself from obsessing, but the best course of action is to make sure the other person doesn't know you're obsessed. A.k.a. think about them as much as you want, but be very strict with yourself re. how many times you contact them/message/catch up with them in a week, etc.


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Weiss_Yohji
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25 Apr 2011, 11:43 pm

sunshower wrote:
I have the same problem when I get attracted to guys. I think it's difficult to stop yourself from obsessing, but the best course of action is to make sure the other person doesn't know you're obsessed. A.k.a. think about them as much as you want, but be very strict with yourself re. how many times you contact them/message/catch up with them in a week, etc.

There've been two girls in the past couple years who I've gotten this way with. I haven't been as bad with the second one.

But it's so difficult for me to even work up the nerve to ask them out. It's one of the many reasons why I should never have been born with AS.



sunshower
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26 Apr 2011, 12:12 am

Weiss_Yohji wrote:
sunshower wrote:
I have the same problem when I get attracted to guys. I think it's difficult to stop yourself from obsessing, but the best course of action is to make sure the other person doesn't know you're obsessed. A.k.a. think about them as much as you want, but be very strict with yourself re. how many times you contact them/message/catch up with them in a week, etc.

There've been two girls in the past couple years who I've gotten this way with. I haven't been as bad with the second one.

But it's so difficult for me to even work up the nerve to ask them out. It's one of the many reasons why I should never have been born with AS.


It's hard but it's worth giving it a shot. You've got nothing to lose. I tend to just go for it and ask out a person if I like them - most of the time I end up getting turned down/rejected, but sometimes it works.


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Weiss_Yohji
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26 Apr 2011, 12:32 am

"Just do it" doesn't even seem like enough to help me.

I've tried reading PUA stuff (David DeAngelo, Mystery, etc.,), but I still can't get up the nerve. On top of that, I'm also very sensitive to emotional connections.



sunshower
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26 Apr 2011, 12:48 am

Yeah, I know it's not for everyone, but that's my approach. I go for it and try not to let it get to me if it doesn't work out. It's harder if you're shy to do it this way I think.


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Weiss_Yohji
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26 Apr 2011, 1:01 am

Well, how am I even supposed to motivate myself?