So... I became someone's sex toy

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Three years ago I met a very strange and reserved individual, who reminded me a lot of myself before I learnt to open up and attempt to be more socialable as an Asperger's sufferer. I bonded with him well rather quickly and treated him well whereas others forsaken him. My love for him as a friend however, was inpretered differently by him and one day he confessed that he was in love with me.

Being an open-minded man however, who has craved to be loved but never had a relationship, I responded positively and we carried out our relationship for a year. Unfortunatly however, although he loved me; I simply wasn't interested, I'm not sure if I'm straight or if I just did not like having sex with him, but either way I was not happy in the relationship and therefore I decided it must stop. In turn, he replied by threaterning to commite suicide.

I rushed to ensure that he could not fulfil the threat but because we were living quite a distance away, I resorted to phoning the police. Humouressly, they put him in a cell for two days and from that point forth, I knew he would never make a threat like that again . A few months later, on Chirstmas day I finished celebrating and checked my emails to find that he sent me an email apologising to me deeply for what he did, he also made note that the reason he was acting rashly was that he discovered he was diagnosed with cancer a few days beforehand. After talking with him and cheering him up a bit over the phone, I told him I would come visit him again soon.

When I arrived he was acting sad, timid and seamed very depressed; my efforts to lighten his personalty all failed, I resorted to simply supplying him with a kiss. We got back together again and I pretended to enjoy the sex out of foolish pity. Over the months, he tells me about how he does not want to die and how scared he is but also he states that the hospital had an experiment cure for his particular cancer, however it only works a small minority of the time.

A year later, I'm walking home from work as I phone him up to ask how it went and he responds saying that the operation was successful and he will likely not die from it, however there is a chance of it reoccuring. This news was the single most joyous moment of my life, after such a long time knowing that he would die and doubting any possible recovery, yet still putting on a brave face as not to make him feel bad, I now knew that my friend and lover was going to be okay.

Almost home, my phone rings; he's calling me again, as I answer there is a long pause of silence before he hangs up. Rushing home I get a text minute a few minutes later which explained to me that he was lieing about his cancer, that he his life has never been in danger and how he demands that he will never talk to me or see me again. Trying to call him again, he explains in a very aggresive tone that he was simply using me for sex and knew that the only way for him to get me to get back with him again was to make me feel pity for him.

Confused and shocked I asked him to calm down and explain himself properly, he stated that he's had enough of the charade and that he has found faith in god as by believing in god he will be forgiven for his sins. Ofcourse, I took this as being some kind of sick joke as a desperate bid for attention however it seams I was in the sick joke all along.

After a week of trying to reason with him, he kept bombaring me with bible quotes stating that I am an abomination of sin and that he cannot see me as anything different now that he knows "the truth" about the world with his new found religion. Soon afterwards he cut all ties of communication with me and treated me as nothing but muck under his boot, yet strangely, I still love him. I fear for my sanity aswell as my ability in being able to trust other people.

The reason why I believe I may be going insane is that his actions are confusing, I did not believe him to be capable of betraying me such as this and I also believed that he did love me. I have often wondered if he actually does have cancer and was trying to distance himself from me, knowing that I would be in great pain if I knew he was dieing still as I did become depressed over the time that he was apprantly suffering. He also shown signs of weakness such as having to stop walking after very short distances and coughing frequently which makes me believe more so in this theory.

However, out of all his friends that I have talked to, none of them knew about his illness. He told nobody about this apart from me, all his trips to the hospital etc were done by him alone while I was at work and therefore logic would dictate that he was lieing, I guess i'm just werid for not being able to accept it. Yet, another strange attribute of his personality is that he has also split all ties between his old friends and he refuses to allow any of them to communicate with him.

Its been six months, I havn't talked to him since yet I am still in love with him and I know nothing of "love" apart from this horriably twisted relationship experience, I fear that if I continue to feel this way I will become insane or harbour a deep hatred for people as the one person I thought I could love was the one person I should of never talked to. I have tried to move on by trying to forget him but I seam to be stupidly loyal... but for what? he abondoned me.

I think he's the mentally ill one actually.

He lied to you about a very serious issue and now he is calling you a sinner?

I'd stay away from him.

think he's the mentally ill one actually.

He lied to you about a very serious issue and now he is calling you a sinner?

I'd stay away from him.

I agree wholeheartedly! Very manipulative behavior...

What a horrible, terrible lie! Stay away from this person for good, before you invest more of your heart into this drama. Keep your distace and heal from this rediculous emotional abuse... lying or not, that is abusive to jerk someone around regaurding such serious issues. Hope your heart mends fast and you find TRUE love.

What you are describing sounds absolutely horrible and I hope you remain open to the possibility of having good friend and/or romantic relationships with other people of either gender in whatever way you are comfortable with . I have unfortunately noticed a pattern where individuals with ASD's are sexually/emotionally taken advantage of in similar ways to what you are describing.
I myself have only had one relative that I was really aware that they were having cancer treatments and I also had a friend who has described taking a close relative of theirs for cancer treatments for a long while before they passed. The fact is, when an individual has a terminal illness they eventually will need to take them for their treatments (especially chemo). If your "friend" has never gone for treatments of any kind, has never had you take them, or told anyone else about their illness, they were most definitely lying b/c terminal illness cannot be hidden forever (unless you never seek treatment and end up dying much sooner).
I would expect confusion and questioning your feelings and sexuality to be natural parts of coping with and processing what you went through. You might want to consider confiding this in someone you know in person in order to better sift through your feelings and gain a listener who might better understand your situation. Time heals enough so people can move on .

p.s. I'd want to kick this guy...

Thanks for your support however I was also particually to blame, I could of shown him more affection and prehaps been more supportive emotionally instead of talking about things logically with him. I'm going to be trying out Datasage's tips over the next few weeks and see if it will help me get over him as online dating for the last few months has got me firmly placed, nowhere.

Sorry such a bad thing happened to you. I also had something a lot like this (change finding god to kicked out of his house and lived three months in the forest) Block him and remove him from your life, breath and work on your self, find out what you like and go for it. Jumping into dating with out knowing how you eel can end badly...

So I've taken my mind off of this since and have not tried to replace him by going out with other people, though I still get days when I get extremely depressed and regret fighting with him. Today I have frantically searched for his phone number in an attempt to contact him, to no avail as I ensured that every trace of him was gone last time. I want to see him so badly and to make up with him but I can't bring myself to go to his house and knock on his door out of fear of rejection and the fear that I may snap myself.

I really have no idea what to do at this point, it seams I must comfront him or this will never be laid to rest but doing so scares me s**tless.

Believe me, you need to find some way to forget him or something, because if you bring him into your life again, you may end up coming out of it even worse off. Possibly even dead. He wants this. He wants you to want him back so he can manipulate you again and again for his own pleasure. Let me tell you, there is nothing you can do to change him. There is nothing that was your fault. It was all him.

Please, just see someone about the grief and just drop this man. You're not insane, you've just been severely and deeply violated. You deserve far better than that.

Once, I dated someone for two years and then married. I did not learn until a year after marriage that almost everything I knew about this person was a lie. It was heartbreaking and I had never been so angry in my life and never have been since. Needless to say, I filed for divorce.

I have always been taken advantage of in this manner. It's common for aspies. Because of this, I don't trust anyone anymore.

EDIT: Typos.