Falling in Love is Hard

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Joined: 5 Jul 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 49
Location: Lansing, MI

13 May 2011, 12:10 am

Finding someone and falling in love has to be one of the hardest things to ever do in life. Especially if you lack relationship and social skills. I just don't know how possible it is for me. I will try to keep a positive attitude about it but I am just not a social person and I feel like talking to new people is a chore and most the time I don't get satisfaction out of it.

I would still like a relationship though, but I just don't know how possible it is anymore. I just feel like I am too behind in the game. I just wish I could live my life and stop worrying about it. If it happens great, if it doesn't thats fine too.

MXH
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13 May 2011, 12:25 am

I felt the same, but it happened. In typical me fashion it happened in the worst way possible too.

Chronos
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13 May 2011, 12:58 am

michiganfan317 wrote:

Your profile says you're 21. That's not behind in the game. That's not even dating prime for a lot of people.

If you want a social life, you have to make effort at it even if it tires you. Some people just aren't attracted to many people and may only meet someone who "knocks their socks off" once in a very great while. You might be one of them. I don't think that's unusual amongst those with AS.

Even so I don't think it would be a bad thing to go on a few dates while you're young. Most girls usually end up just wanting to "just be friends" anyway.

MrLoony
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13 May 2011, 1:39 am

Quote:

I would still like a relationship

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt149213.html

If you want to fall in love, you shouldn't want a relationship. You should want the person that you will love.

For the record? From my experience, finding a relationship may be hard (especially if you're actively looking), but falling in love is easy.

_________________
"Let reason be your only sovereign." ~Wizard's Sixth Rule
I'm working my way up to Attending Crazy Taoist. For now, just call me Dr. Crazy Taoist.

Vigilans
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13 May 2011, 1:54 am

Going out looking specifically for love is not the way to do it. If you build up that expectation you are bound to make mistakes, possibly including projecting a persona of what you want on the first, most convenient relationship. Treat relationships casually, but with enormous respect and responsibility, and let interest build. There is no reason to rush things. You'll know when its really love, and not just infatuation.

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curlyfry
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13 May 2011, 10:26 am

Work on your social skills so you can feel more confident. What do you you like to do? Maybe you can join a shared interest group? Volunteer work is great way to work on skills. I didn't know the art of conversation until I found the book "How to win friends and influence people". Some people may dump on it because its old but it has just the right steps to start a conversation with anyone.

michiganfan317
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Joined: 5 Jul 2009
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13 May 2011, 11:56 am

Thanks everyone. Everyone has been really helpful and I appreciate that. I got some new perspective and I am ready to go back out and keep trying. I will try but not try too hard. Just put myself in a position to make it happen and get out of the Universe's way I suppose and let it happen.

MrLoony
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13 May 2011, 1:18 pm

michiganfan317 wrote:

/hugs and then salutes you

Good luck, and godspeed!

_________________
"Let reason be your only sovereign." ~Wizard's Sixth Rule
I'm working my way up to Attending Crazy Taoist. For now, just call me Dr. Crazy Taoist.

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