confused and lonely..

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i've only had one boyfriend, we dated for about a year and a half and then i broke up with him. it was a bad breakup. that was about 3 or 4 years ago. i dont regret ending the relationship, but sometimes i get lonely. im usually fine and enjoy life as it comes, but every once in a while, i have a dream about him. its usually nothing that bothers me greatly.

but in the last 4 days i had 2 dreams about him. in the first one, we bumped into each other in public and it was kinda akward, like there was unresolved feelings for each other and he wasnt acting like he usually does, and he wanted to have dinner with me. i dont really remember the second one, but it had the same feeling.

ususally my dreams of him are an akward social situation with his new girlfrind in them as well and they are just weird, but they dont really mess with my head. but these new ones really bother me.

i dont know if its anything that can be helped....i just feel like getting it out

These dreams tend to disappear once your mind gets a new ex to play with. Are the dreams making you second guess yourself or something?

overall when i think about our relationship in the daytime, i just remember headaches. but when i have these dreams, all i can think about is the good parts of our relationship. no relationship is completely disposable, i mean, you started dating for a reason, right? you obviously liked the person once upon a time?
and that makes me question myself, but i think my emotions are confusing me. the cons outweighed the pros, no question. but the pros look pretty good when im feeling down. and that makes me feel worse, if you can believe it

When I love someone I trust them completely. I trust them to not steal my wallet, to support me when I need help. I trust them to hold my hand when I'm sad and be there when they're needed. I trust them with a lot. And I also know I trust them to be human....

They may break my favorite gadget, or ruin my favorite shirt - or accidentally run over my cat, or swing the wrong way and cause bodily injury to myself - or even take my wallet and smack my hand. But I love/loved them so its ok.... Things always change.

And your probably just getting lonely and second guessing yourself - but girls usually do things for a reason. So get an avatar on your profile and pitch up a tent and post some more.

Even a bad relationship is in a sense better than no relationship at all, but in another sense it's worse. Maybe the key is how confident you feel about the prospect of finding somebody else.

but where to find them?! lol...i work in an office with 5 or 6 people, and they are all older and married. and nightclubs are NO place to meet decent guys-even sober ones! im sure there are good guys at clubs, but i have yet to meet one. and im not sure where else i can go to meet some.

i do have a crush on a guy who works at the bank i go to. but i can only see him twice a month - if im lucky! and thats it
and i dont know how to ask him out on a date. i dont even know if he's single, and im not the type to make the first move when it comes to that sort of thing

Yes, this sexist thing about guys having to make the first move....must be as bad for you as it is for me. I guess you could just break the rules - haven't seen any lady come to harm by doing that. They've never been that forward with me though, they've just given me their attention, seemed glad to see me, seemed interested in me, mentioned that they're into this or that, or that they're at a loose end or something (kind of begging the question, "let's do that together").......there must be tons of websites that advise women on how to make their feelings known without being proactive about it.

It might be worth getting involved in a mixed group or two - could be anything you're into, basket weaving, revolutionary socialism, whatever........there's a chair waiting for you. Obviously nightclubs are a bit different, I mean they're more direct but I doubt there's much sensitivity and caring in such places, and at best you might end up with a bf who loved nothing but nightclubs.

What about online dating? I've used agencies, and without them I'd have spent a few very lonely years.....the partners I got through that were admittedly quite flawed, but I can't honestly say they were any worse than the ones I met through "normal" channels.