I'm tired of screwing up.

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Whenever I get a chance with a girl, I totally f**k up. I can list the ret*d mistakes I made.

Jenna: She said she wanted to be my girlfriend. It was the first time any girl expressed an interest in me, so I didn't know how to react. I rejected her, even though I found her attractive.

McKenzie: She approached me and started talking to me. She said "Do you think maybe you and I could be friends?" I mumbled "Possibly." She didn't hear me and thought I was ignoring her, and she spent the rest of the field trip telling her friends how much of a jerk I was.

Hannah: I allowed myself to fall in love with her before I even talked to her. I was scared of her and didn't have the guts to approach her. She eventually moved away.

Hannah (another girl): I suppressed my feeling for her, but I was still scared to talk to her. Eventually she started dating someone else. I asked her out just after I found out she had a boyfriend. Of course I got rejected.

Shayna: The girl I've been angsting over on these forums for the past few weeks. She seemed to like me, until I asked for her number and she got freaked out. I didn't feel comfortable doing it, but I didn't want to look like a p**** either so I ended up scaring her away. Now I don't know if she'll ever talk to me again.

f**k, I'm sick myself. Maybe I'm too socially ret*d for a girlfriend. I am the autistic heartthrob that no girl can have, because I can't open up to anyone.

I know exactly how you feel. To be honest I hate it to the point where I haven't asked out a girl in 3 years to save myself from the pain of rejection.

Rejection and mixed signals are part of the dating "game", it's not you. Sooner or later you will find someone who will take you as you are, warts and all. I didn't think I'd find the right person 27 years ago, I thought I sucked at the whole dating thing too.
Found the love of my life in 1986, we've been married for 22 years now. My wife is much more NT than I am, she's the practical side and I'm the big picture dreamer. Fortunately she does not expect me to be anything else other than what I am.

I really think that you should just be honest. If you think you screwed up, tell her. Tell her why you did what you did.

How do you know that new phone explanation wasn't true? Didn't she give her old phone number to your friend relatively easily too? The other possibility was that she just wasn't interested of you, and she made that phone explanation up, but considering that she apparently gave her old phone number to your friend in first chat which probably wasn't that much longer than your two chats, I'd say it is unlikely that you freaked her out by asking phone number too soon.

Honestly, I think this is becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy for you. You're going to keep screwing up for as long as you keep telling yourself you're going to keep screwing up.

Oh, Christ, do I really have to explain this? I'm not complaining about being rejected, alright? None of these girls rejected me, except for that one. They were attracted to me, but I shut them out. Why do people continually misinterpret my posts as "I'm so lonely and horny and no girl likes me"? Sheesh!

TWO people said that. Actually, they didn't exactly say that, either. One person mentioned rejection as part of their personal experience, and the other pointed out that rejection and mixed signals are a part of dating.

And, since it seems like you didn't even bother to read past the first two posts (if that), I'll say it again: Admit that you think you screwed up. Be open and honest about it.

May I ask why do you shut them out? Since they are not rejecting you, but are open to having a relationship with you it doesn't appear that you are afraid of being rejected?

From a personal perspective this would be very helpful for me to understand.

Shayna accepted my friend request. I looked at her Facebook profile and it says she's already taken. Damn, why didn't she just tell me that instead of letting me make an ass of myself?

1. She may not have known you were trying to ask her out

2. That information on her profile page could be out of date, or she could put that there so guys she friends on Facebook don't ask her out

So stop screwing up. Practice. Think up various scenarios and how you would navigate them.

Comedians do this all the time. They practice how they are going to deliver the joke and if the audience doesn't like it, they have a fall back plan.

Sometimes I wonder whether I have the same problem in every aspect I call 'Life.'


I thought that was just how life is?