Any truth in this?

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Yesterday i attended an aspergers suppourt group and someone with AS said to me "People with aspegers are not meant to have relationships"............... maybe that is just him speaking from his personal experience but would you say there might be some truth in what he says?

I met many people in the suppourt group with AS who were in there 30's and 40's that have never been in a relationship well at least that is what many people were saying yesterday at the meeting.

The person who said what you quoted was speaking emotionally, not logically, he was just expressing his feelings of hopelessness, you should not think of it so much in terms of empirical proof and logic.

The kneejerk reaction would be to say "Of course not!"

A big question of course is, what does it mean for something to be "meant to be?" Meant by whom? God? The individual?

Personally I believe in fate and karma, so I'd say it depends on the individual. Many aspies do not end up in relationships, so I suppose it was not meant to be for them.

Women in particular with aspergers usually do not seem to have trouble with finding relationships, even if they are late-starters.

Some aspies find relationships and some don't, some of the relationships are good and some aren't.

If you want to see what will happen to you you'll just have to live your life and wait and see like everyone else.

Well i think he was kinda saying to me "if relationships don't work for me don't think you can try and do any better"

Also I'd hesistate to bring up the whole 'women have it easier than men' idea in your comment because some girls in this part of site are sick and tired of hearing that.

*headdesk*

LOL what do u mean wefunction?

If this is true then maybe I should tell my long-term boyfriend to go home...what I'm saying is; it holds no truth for me.

I think some people with asperger's maybe are not meant to be in relationships.
I'll have friends but never quite understand friendship, I can't maintain friendships as NT's do, and no one will live up to my expectations of what friendship is supposed to be - I imagine for some aspies there are similar issues in trying to get into a romantic relationship, but more difficult given the complexity and emotions involved with both parties. For some aspies it's simply too difficult to understand relationships, to function within a relationship with another person, and it not live up to what they may want or expect. For some a romantic relationship may never be possible, whether due to asperger's or their own defeat.

Notice though, I say SOME people with asperger's maybe are not meant to be in relationships.
Obviously many of us do end-up in healthy long-term relationships, some of us may find it more difficult than others and so become defeatist. Being defeatist or depressed about failed romantic endeavours is understandable of course, but it makes relationships even more difficult as this sort of negativity doesn't just effect your ability to get into a relationship but also repels people who may have ordinarily been potential mates. I think it's these people who say "People with aspegers are not meant to have relationships" - it's not fact, but it's defeatism that if not careful will unfortunately turn into self-fulfilling prophesy.

It's like the saying that you have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you, when you're in a place where you're ready to accept love - whether that comes from overcoming barriers caused by asperger's to make yourself and your life open to another person, or overcoming defeatism/negativity - that's when you find love.

anyoen can have relationships if they want them

Also u should not think either "Just becuase i am a male with aspergers means i am screwed when it comes to the dating world" becuase at the end of the day we are all different.

It's wrong to generalize! That person sounds very depressed to me and that's how he comforts his own feeling of "not be as good as". Misery loves company. Romantic relationships come from increasing your social circle. The majority of dates I had came from the elder women that I worked with. I would whine that I had NOBODY. These gals found single nephews, grandsons, godchilds, you name it. I got dates this way. If I never conveyed my feeling or spoke up around these gals, I'd still be single. Relationships take work - lots of work - ya gotta spend money sometimes! You have to open up to other people. You have to put yourself out there. You can't just stand on a street corner expecting love to find you. Have you ever gone to a nightclub yourself? If you ever tell someone you're by yourself, they'll think you're a psycho. No matter how hard it hurts and how uncomfortable it makes you feel, you have to immerse yourself in people if you expect to have relationships. Others can find you more friends, lovers, and jobs too. Ya gotta network!! GULP. But "ya gotta".

I personally think i might be more successful with a girl who is a little 'quircky' or 'weird' becuase the higher social status and the more socially versed a girl is the less tolerant they tend to be of social awkwardness.

“Meant to” implies intent at the point of design. I also don’t believe that making such a statement about a group with characteristics as varied as people with AS is correct.