Do you have better luck attracting people online?

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I've been quite well-received lately on various dating sites. The problem is, if I had as much luck in the real world with attracting people as I do on dating sites, then I would probably be going through boyfriends like tissue paper.

I guess it's because my social awkwardness is more apparent in real life than online. Does anybody else have this problem?

What I remember from before my hermit life is that I'm moderately attractive, but the likelihood of people recoiling in horror is proportional to proximity and motion. I once made the mistake of reciprocating an introduction. From the moment my name left my lips, that person appeared afraid of me for a week, and was henceforth not seen again.

I do.

My online me is more "attractive" than the real me.

but it doesn't count.

Why is that?

Because girls who claim to be attracted to me online are in fact attracted to an illusion of their own creation. An ideal they have created in their heads of what I might be like.

Reality is, they don't like me, they like the idea....the fantasy, and nothing more.

Sooooo wrong. You're flawed, like everyone else. Some people aren't so shallow and look past "challenges".

I haven't ever dated anyone online, but I came close with this one guy. Anyways, it is so much easier to attract friends or love because it takes the real life awkwardness out of it (mostly).

(Oh, and the only reason I didn't with that one guy is because my mom made me cut it off, I was 16 then. Now (hopefully) I'll date at college soon.)

But I will say there is a downside if you are LDS because there are few (But there are some) mormons online).

I do seem to attract more people online than IRL. I'm not exactly sure why. I don't think I'm less awkward online.

I do tend to speak up more, though.

Do I believe these attractions are legitimate? Not really. They only see what I put forth over the internet. In person, there are a lot of things one cannot hide that may put someone off.

Just as an example... in person people tend to think I'm cold and dismissive. Online, people tend to consider me outspoken but kind. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.

I attract friends or least acquaintances online a lot better than I do offline & when it comes to more than a friendship type attraction; I never attract anyone offline except for very sexual gay guys & I attract them online as well. Only other people I might attract online as more than friendship type attraction are young teen girls.

Last edited by nick007 on 19 May 2011, 9:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

I can take the time to sound more eloquent than in a social situation where rabbit-in-headlights mode kicks in and my words are "Umm... uhhh... hi?"

Yes I do. I have three potential suitors chatting me up this week and I may meet two of them.

Yes, absolutely no problem to attract men online, I can be witty, funny. In real life I stumble over my words or say the wrong things.

It was certainly a rich source of partners for me when my son was young and I didn't have the time or energy to go out and find them in real life. Actually it was more postal dating, back in the 90s, but it amounts to the same thing.

Basically I can communicate much better through the written word than through the spoken word. I used to take a couple of hours to reply to a letter, to make sure I was saying what I really meant and picking up on the subtle hints they'd written between the lines. When replying to me for the first time, they'd typically say that several guys had written but that I seemed like the most interesting of the bunch.

But I'd be kind of reluctant to go back to it. It always seemed pretty obvious that we were getting together with a view to becoming sexual partners, which sometimes felt acutely embarrassing. Everybody else got ignored too quickly, because once I know somebody's interested in me, I just gravitate to them, even if I don't know them very well. Next thing, I've got a fully-fledged relationship with somebody I don't really know, which is great for dealing with my loneliness, but it also means that I'm completely at the mercy of somebody who could turn out to be a destructive jerk. In some ways I'm happier just making friends with women gradually in real life, so that I've got the time to see what they're made of before I put my neck on the block for them. It's nothing like so easy that way, but maybe it's a wiser approach.

This is right on. Online you're just a list of your best qualities and pictures. It's like reading a real estate ad.

The ad will say all great thing with "needs a little TLC" at the end. However when you go there, everything good is eclipsed by the massive work needed to make the place suitable to live in.

Last edited by deadeyexx on 23 May 2011, 10:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

Any place where I can communicate without being physically-seen/critiqued is a plus.