Some advice on feeling from NTs required
I have never been in a relation ship before so want to know if NTs think what I am thinking now.
I arranged to meet a boy as our work collegues thought we would get on well together. He said his climbing buddy had moved away and so he hadnt been able to go climbing since last year. I have never had anyone to climb with since I was in school. So I agreed to go climbing with him. It was not love at first sight but he was friendly and a bit quiet like me (and we found out we had parked our cars next to each other and both drink tea on the hour every hour at work Am I reading too much into this?). After the climbing I offered to go again sometime if he wanted because I enjoyed the climbing and I thought I could tolerate another session with him ( he said " I was going to say the same thing") . He said next friday as in a week later, I agreed. Since then i havent been able to stop thinking about him. As I said when I think about it seriously like I would about buying a watch or something I think he was not stunning and my knight on a white horse wouldnt be like him.
So Do you think he will have though it was a date?
Is it safe to guess that if he agreed to meeting me in the first place it was not because he needed someone to hold the climbing rope , he wanted to find out if we could have a relationship?
Did he agree to a second date because he likes me or the idea a being able to climb again?
Is the reason I cant get him out of my head an aspie obsession (I have obsessed about a fair few guys who were totally not right for me ie didnt get my quietness or other aspie traits) .or is it normal for both parties to think about each other alot between the first and second dates (provided they were dates)?
I feel I want to know so much more about him before I can make a decision. Im going to have to restrain myself from saying "so are you a vegetarian", "are you a morning or a night time person", or you tidy or untidy", "what do your parents look like", "what do you think about me"? I realise I cant say these things but fail to understand how on earth I can make a decision about him without asking.
Do NTs think this in my situation?
Yes...yes, yes, yes, we absolutely do.
The hard thing about dating is that you really don't know what the other person is thinking. If you are forward you could scare them away if they aren't interested romantically and you could lose a potential friend, or if you aren't they may be interested and think you aren't and are just as afraid to make the first move. TOM doesn't really help here
I would take his offer to climb again for what it is, an invitation to climb. You may find after a couple of climbs that you may like him as a friend only and the attraction may ware off, or he may have time to get to know you better and then make his feelings more known and actually ask you out. He may give you more information through conversation that he may or may not be your type which will help you figure out how you want to proceed with him, or react if he makes the first move. You just met, you are obviously attracted, and the level of attraction isn't necessarily an AS thing. You may learn more about how he see's you through your conversation while sharing your common interest. I don't think it's inappropriate to ask if he's a vegetarian or other things about his taste's. I don't know that I would ask if he's tidy, that's more of a judgement question than a "lets learn the things we have in common" question.
Maybe after climbing a couple of times, if you feel comfortable with him, invite him to do something else. Then you know it's not about just climbing if he says yes. Do it in a casual, friendship sort of way and see if he accepts, then go from there. He may ask you out to dinner. If he does THAT, it's a date! ![]()
