Friends offered to fix me up, but I'm really hesitant

Post Reply New Topic

As work was winding down, my two female coworkers and I got to talking, and we eventually got to the subject of dating, and offered to take me out and fix me up with someone. But I'm really hesitant about this. I just feel a lost cause, a weirdo and a freak, and I'm afraid if they fix me up, and I totally bomb out and make a damn fool of myself, it'll come back around to them, and they'll resent me for not doing better. Or worse, that they'll gossip about me. I just wish they wouldn't try, because I'll just fail.

If you're not sure you're ready to give it a go, there should be a way to tell them so, maybe with "I'm not ready to try that just now, but really, thanks for thinking of it." You shouldn't feel like you have to take your coworkers up on this. It wouldn't be fair to you, it wouldn't be fair to your coworkers, and may not be fair to the person they want to set you up with.

If I may be so bold; If you're already a lost cause, weirdo, and a freak, by your own admission, what do you have to lose? Go for it.

In my opinion, if you were a weirdo and a freak then your female co-workers wouldn't have even offered to fix you up with someone. To me this is a tremendous opportunity for you. I am 21 and still have not been on a date before. I would love to have an opportunity like this drop in my lap. This is just another stepping stone to get to where you want to be.

Just do your best with it and chalk it up as another dating experience good or bad. It can only make you better in the end.

I'm always very skeptical about being fixed up with someone. In most cases there's a reason why that woman is single and can't find a boyfriend it seems.

I'm afraid the other person will see me and be mortified, and wind up pissed at her friends for setting me up with her to begin with.

At the very least, you'll find out what your co-workers think about you, and what kind of person they think you deserve to be with.

And yes, it is inevitable that they will pump you or the other person (or both) for details to gossip about.

Go along with it, and wear clean underwear.

Well I might give it a shot, if I weren't so damn worried about making a horrible impression. When you've never had a relationship and your 27, and you've asked out hundreds of girls to no avail, you start to realize that you yourself are the problem. I just don't wanna inflict myself on someone else, you know?

Don't sweat it so much!

Just treat her the way that you would want to be treated; assuming that you want to be treated with kindness, patience and tolerance. And listen to her - I mean really listen! Keep the conversation focussed on her by paraphrasing key points and repeating them back to her. Avoid judgmental statements, if you can, but if you must make one, use an empathic form like, "She said that? I would feel ________, how about you?"

Bathe, dress nicely, and leave your cell phone off during the date.

Let us know how it turns out.

I'll remember your advice. Hopefully though my coworkers will forget the whole thing. I've reached the point where I want to hang on to the friends I've got, and not risk them forming low opinions of me because I am a failure at connecting with the opposite sex.

Don't take dating sites as a reflection of real life.

Some of those girls were on dating sites, many others in real life...people I knew and cared about, but did not reciprocate.

I have had friends and co-workers try this for me over the years it let me know what they thought of me one woman was mentally slow the others were weird in a bad way (I like weird) because they thought I would not mind because I was in special education classes at school therefore something wrong with me too.

Does your co-workers know you have Aspergers? If they are co-workers who know you and on good terms with you then why not go out with their friend. As long as you don't come off as an a**hole, pervert, or total freak then so what if you don't get along with oneanother remember you are not going to get along with everyone.. Just don't talk bad about your date if you two break up your co-workers might not want to set you up again. So be cool about it if it does not pan out.

I'd say go for it... I wish I had coworkers setting me up with people.

go for it, surely your co-workers don't think you're a weirdo, or a freak... if they did, they wouldn't be offering to hook you up.

Absolutely not, and I will never tell any of them. Better to be thought of as a weirdo and reveal the real reason, and be regarded as irredeemably beyond hope or worse, mentally ill. There are simply too many misconceptions about what we are that I feel comfortable revealing who I am to ANYONE.