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Space
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03 Jul 2011, 2:31 pm

Well, yesterday my girlfriend of almost 6 months told me that she's done with us. We just got back from a week long vacation too.

I thought I had a really great girl... She was educated, had a great job coming after another year of uni, was a good cook, and didn't want children (same as me).

We were just different people otherwise. She was bubbly and emotional, talkative... me, I'm often monotone, not much emotion, not very affectionate in public... She said she never knew if I wanted to be with her or not. I think I held my cards too close. I was waiting for the right time to finally say "I love you", but that day didn't come in time.

I met her parents, friends, family... she met a few of my friends. I was always scared to introduce my parents to a girl. I know I was moving too slow for her.

She said I wasn't affectionate enough in public, and I was only considerate when I wanted sex. When I tried to clarify what she meant, she got frustrated and said "You just don't get it."

I only told her that I have aspergers via text after she broke up with me. I just told her I'm sorry and will miss her. I have something called asperger syndrome and sometimes I hurt people unintentionally, and I was sorry for that.

Kinda sad, but bottom line was we didn't have enough in common to overcome other barriers and make it last. I'm taking a break from women for awhile and focusing on work and myself.



OneStepBeyond
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03 Jul 2011, 3:49 pm

sorry to hear that

it sucks when people get you wrong



cyberfox007
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03 Jul 2011, 4:10 pm

Sorry to hear of the breakup. Don't let it get to ya too much. It's not the end, the world continues to turn and things move on.



anna-banana
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03 Jul 2011, 4:25 pm

Space wrote:

She said I wasn't affectionate enough in public, and I was only considerate when I wanted sex. When I tried to clarify what she meant, she got frustrated and said "You just don't get it."



actually two of my female friends have broken up with their guys for the very same reason. but they're both a**holes (my friends, not the guys).

I'm sorry about your breakup :(


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hartzofspace
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03 Jul 2011, 4:46 pm

That is a shame. Relationships are hard to navigate. I hope you take some time to heal, and know that there are other women out there who may have more patience and motivation to make it work.


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Erisad
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03 Jul 2011, 4:47 pm

That sucks. *hugs*



AspieWolf
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03 Jul 2011, 5:06 pm

All of this sounds too familiar. Been there myself and heard all of the same comments.

Sorry that you broke up. Hang in there. There will be other opportunities I'm sure.


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techstepgenr8tion
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03 Jul 2011, 5:18 pm

You probably want to tell them sooner about that, within the first few dates would be wise (yeah, you want them to see you first to make sure there's chemistry to begin with but, going forward its a pretty important detail). As you get closer to 30 the honesty is actually appreciated, after 25 its much less about either making someone's grade or not and much more about two fully-formed individuals scratching away the unknown to see who's there.


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blueroses
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03 Jul 2011, 7:20 pm

Space wrote:
... me, I'm often monotone, not much emotion, not very affectionate in public... She said she never knew if I wanted to be with her or not. I think I held my cards too close. I was waiting for the right time to finally say "I love you", but that day didn't come in time.


It can be hard for a lot of people to know when the timing is right to say it, unless the other person goes ahead and says it first. So, please don't beat yourself up over that.

I think what would be more helpful is to figure out ways to show it the next time you date someone. The best advice I ever got on relationships was probably, "don't listen to what men say, listen to what they do." I don't mean that communication isn't important, I just mean that actively demonstrating something will give words substance or, if you have trouble getting the words out right, make them seem less important.

Hang in there and good luck.



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04 Jul 2011, 12:48 am

Is this the same one who you made a thread about here saying "I would rather sleep with all her friends than her"?



chrissyrun
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04 Jul 2011, 8:47 pm

That stinks.

Sounds good (aside from the kid thing).

Oh, well you didn't act fast enough I guess.

That sounds like me, I would be scared to introduce anyone to my parents.

Yup, you need to find someone like you, good luck.



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04 Jul 2011, 9:05 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Is this the same one who you made a thread about here saying "I would rather sleep with all her friends than her"?

i wondered that also. or the one who was letting herself go, so he didn't find her very attractive anymore?


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Space
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05 Jul 2011, 10:12 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Is this the same one who you made a thread about here saying "I would rather sleep with all her friends than her"?

i wondered that also. or the one who was letting herself go, so he didn't find her very attractive anymore?

yep that's her. She did let her self go a bit while we were together... and I didn't like that, but it was more the overall situation that was creating problems. I found she liked to create arguments out of nothing, and would yell at me over seemingly nothing. This coming from a woman I often was often not attracted to physically either. Yet I still can't help think that she was a good catch in some ways. I think part of the problem on her end is that I'm a bit stubborn and won't easily mold into the puppet that her friends all seem to have as a boyfriend/husband. Oh well.



bucephalus
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05 Jul 2011, 11:58 pm

Space wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Is this the same one who you made a thread about here saying "I would rather sleep with all her friends than her"?

i wondered that also. or the one who was letting herself go, so he didn't find her very attractive anymore?

yep that's her. She did let her self go a bit while we were together... and I didn't like that, but it was more the overall situation that was creating problems. I found she liked to create arguments out of nothing, and would yell at me over seemingly nothing. This coming from a woman I often was often not attracted to physically either. Yet I still can't help think that she was a good catch in some ways. I think part of the problem on her end is that I'm a bit stubborn and won't easily mold into the puppet that her friends all seem to have as a boyfriend/husband. Oh well.


I was looking through my old posts last night (don't ask!) and I remember your thread you made when you met a new girl (pressumably this one). IIR you were very complimentary about her and I was complimentary about you further downthread. I may have got you mixed up with someone else tho :S


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