A girl accepted to go out with me... now what?

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DAnielMolon
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04 Jul 2011, 3:03 pm

I've been talking to a girl online for like 3 days and I asked her out ( to the movies, to watch a comedy romance) and she accepted. But I have never gone out with a girl before and I don't know what is expected of me. What is expected for me to do in the first date, a french kiss is normal on the first date?
What is expected in each date ( like "in the second date you better have kissed her already" or " it's better to have sex after the fifth date") ? When does the sex comes( the part I'm waiting for)? I don't know what to ask, give me some tips. By the way I'm 17 and she is also 17, I believe this information is needed or at least helpful.



Chronos
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04 Jul 2011, 3:55 pm

DAnielMolon wrote:
I've been talking to a girl online for like 3 days and I asked her out ( to the movies, to watch a comedy romance) and she accepted. But I have never gone out with a girl before and I don't know what is expected of me. What is expected for me to do in the first date, a french kiss is normal on the first date?
What is expected in each date ( like "in the second date you better have kissed her already" or " it's better to have sex after the fifth date") ? When does the sex comes( the part I'm waiting for)? I don't know what to ask, give me some tips. By the way I'm 17 and she is also 17, I believe this information is needed or at least helpful.


You just talk and get to know eachother. You generally don't kiss until you've gone out on a few dates, and only when the attraction is mutual.



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04 Jul 2011, 5:06 pm

This is the part where you size each other up and figure out where to go from here. The answer to your question of when to kiss and when to have sex is that there isn't a timetable. Kissing shouldn't be a rigid thing, it should be with two people that both want it. Don't worry about what other people think you should have done by the second date. They aren't going on dates with this girl. Oh, and very important: You aren't dating her yet. Maybe you already know that, but it's worth noting that this is simply a date. So it should be simple.



NTalyssa
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05 Jul 2011, 1:05 am

A first date is when you see if you're attracted to each other - physically and mentally.
Generally, the guy pays for the girl on the first date. She might say "oh no, don't worry" but that's being polite. Rarely will she pay for you, but most people consider it a "date" and not just "hanging out" if he pays for her.
In the movie, holding hands is appropriate, or putting your arm around her. To hold her hand without asking, put it on the armrest between the two of you or on your knee, and have your palm facing upwards. if you see she is doing this, she probably wants to hold your hand. While kind of awkward, it's polite (I at least always find it sweet) to ask her "is it okay if i put my arm around you?" before doing it. Don't follow the whole "pretend to yawn and stretch over" thing because it's more awkward than not! haha
At the end of the movie, if you feel a connection and if it's not too late, going for coffee at a near by cafe to talk is nice until your rides come. Ask her things that you were meaning to elaborate on in the conversations online.
Frenching on the first date is probably moving too fast - I personally like it best when a guy goes to hug me goodbye and in letting go, holds my hands and leans down to kiss me lightly on the lips for a couple of seconds. If she backs away or doesn't want to hold your hand, do NOT try to kiss her. Just apologize once "Sorry" - no elaborations are needed, and move on. You can still be friends though! :)
Sex and anything past a light kiss should definitely wait... I know 17 seems like super old to be not having sex right now, but trust me - it's still very young. If you have never had sex before, the first time is one of the most awkward things you will ever experience in your life. Similar to your first blow job, going down on her, undoing a bra.. etc. All very awkward first time experiences! And because they're so awkward and intimate, it's very important that simply because you "want" to have sex, doesn't mean you should. I know I sound like a mom here (I'm only 20 and most definitely do NOT have children), but pressuring someone into having sex or forcing yourself to move faster than you want to isn't worth it. After you just feel awkward and usually regret it later on. Let things progress naturally - TV and media make that look like "sex on the 3rd date" but that's also more for people with a lot of life experience.. so like.. mid-late 20's.
She too is probably feeling this pressure to move faster sexually than she's ready, so if you're not ready for it, just tell her you want to take it slower and respect her too much to push things.
I don't think I've heard anyone say they wish they had had sex earlier with someone ;)



hale_bopp
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05 Jul 2011, 1:50 am

Well congrats on the date, dude! :D



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05 Jul 2011, 2:27 am

Do not force anything, kissing or otherwise. Only do it when it feels right to you. A lot of women expect the man to initiate these things... so don't be afraid to try if it does feel right. [I had a couple of ex's complain that I took too long to kiss them. It only took me so long, because I was afraid of their reactions :lol: ].
You likely won't kiss her on this date, and that's perfectly fine. The first date is usually a test to see how good of a fit you two are for each other. If you feel comfortable holding her hand, don't say anything about it. Just put your hand on hers, and she'll do the rest...



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06 Jul 2011, 9:59 pm

Hey there! I hope the date went very well!

I'm very curious. Which website did you meet the girl? Was it Facebook, Myspace, or some particular dating site?