'What's the worst that could happen?"

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I keep hearing this rhetorical question posed to me every time I talk about my fear of rejection. Everyone keeps giving me the advice that "The worst thing that someone can say is no". This applies to basically any social function: dates, job interviews, what have you... and yet in all these cases, I have to leave myself vulnerable, hanging on their response. And in a world that's generally hostile (from a social perspective), you learn to never leave yourself exposed like that. My whole life has been a story of being constantly beat down emotionally, and yet I'm too stubborn to just stay down. But the funny thing is that while I can persevere through otherwise hostile waters under normal circumstances (due to the hard shell i've developed over the years), I can't be open anymore. I can't try new things. I can't reach out, because in all likelihood, the woman/interviewer/whoever on the other side pretty much will say no... and my otherwise invincible emotional state will be broken yet again.

IMO the fear of rejection had can manifest rejection. Now is taking a healthy risk vulnerability?
OK some people can call rejection failure (personal I dislike the word failure, I prefer to call that a set-back), failure and rejection are very useful experiences that give you feedback.

The key here is to never give up and use the feedback from rejection as a learning experience for changes you what and choice to make your life.

I have unfortunately let fear of failure rule my life. The funny thing is you have to deal with disappointment whether you take risks or not. If I could start over I would try to be bolder.

This may seem an odd suggestion but maybe you need a higher ratio of dependably enjoyable activities in your life to uncertainly enjoyable ones (risks) if you've had bad luck in the past with rejections and have lost the will to keep trying.

Rejection is painful. I sympathize completely. So not to co=opt a really girly stereotype but typically girls are known to tell each other to pamper themselves when they've suffered a break-up or something. YES I realize you're not a girl and I'm not a girly-girl so this is a strange approach.

But. I think it's true you need to do things you know will make you happy, and lots of them, as much as possible, so you can in a little while overall feel relaxed and happy enough to feel that your life won't be made miserable by taking a risk in love or career or whatnot. Cause rejection after rejection is soul-destroying and your soul needs to be salvaged and healed before you dive into something that could wound it. An overall healthy and peaceful soul can withstand rejection much better than a run-down one.

That's really my best advice, which is not much but that's what came to my mind! So I think you should do things you enjoy, you deserve to enjoy life and life can be very uncertain so take full advantage of its certain pleasures!

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-l ... et-better/ Cracked

Not sure it helps. But I like to think of it the way this guy talks about it.

Failure is a success.

"Because f*** them, that's why"

NTs don't, and can't, understand why even talking to someone in the first place is so excruciating for people with social disorders.

I tend to give the literal aspie answer to rhetorical questions.

The literal answer to that question is along the lines of "the chick I'm asking is a psycho and if I ask her it will trigger her into murdering my family and putting my man parts through unspeakable torture before killing me." Of course be as graphic as possible. Then they will be less inclined to ask rhetorical questions.

I've experienced worst things with rejection then simply being told No. I've made the mistake of asking out women from work & a couple got hostile with me & made things extremely difficult for me till they quit. Being told No doesn't bother me too much. I'm worried about things worse that that like ruining friendships by asking which has happened more than a few times

Failure is the worst that could happen. I don't tolerate mistakes at all. An error on my part is all it takes for me to spend the next few days obsessing over it.

Of course, as I've said before, outside of a few half-assed attempts at online dating, I've never tried to initiate a conversation with a woman because, as Homer Simpson said, "Trying is the first step towards failure".

I'm beginning to think my problem can only be solved with medication. Ironically, if I take any kind of medication I will probably see it as a failure anyway.