Am I the only person on the planet that doesn't want kids?

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Davideus85
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21 Sep 2020, 12:43 am

I've never wanted children. Honestly, I've just never had any interest. There are so many reasons that I won't go into here, however I'll just say I find them incredibly obnoxious and stressful and not a joy to be around in particular. I've never understood the obsession that most people have (especially women) about having children. Virtually everyone I've known or come across has had children. I always figured it was an NT thing, until I realized how just as many autistic couples have children as their NT counterparts do.

I literally do not care if people decide to become parents, it really doesn't phase me. It is, however, rather perplexing to me how it is a near universal phenomenon - the desire for children. Most people's mentality is vastly different than how I think. People will go out of their way to become parents at great cost, and I've known people with fertility issues that have suffered great depression and even become suicidal because they couldn't have any. Whereas, I would find it a terrible inconvenience and misery to have to raise a child. I try to keep my personal opinions on the matter private as it's considered socially unacceptable to opt out of parenthood. I've had people tell me "it's just what you're suppose to do". People act like you're a horrible selfish person if you tell them you're never having kids.

So I guess my question is, is there other people like me out there that for one reason or another is not interested in procreation and is it really such a horrible thing not to want them?



RetroGamer87
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21 Sep 2020, 12:48 am

No. I don't want kids either.


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Pepe
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21 Sep 2020, 12:50 am

Kids. Pfft! :roll:


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dragonsanddemons
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21 Sep 2020, 12:56 am

From the moment I realized that not everyone has to have kids when they grow up, I’ve known I’m not going to have any.


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Meistersinger
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21 Sep 2020, 3:29 am

Why would I want to put a brat through what I went through as a child?

Besides, when it comes to children, I have an extremely short fuse. I’d be on death row for beating my little brat to within a millimeter of his or her life. (Yes, I’m that abusive. I’m so abusive, I even hate myself! :evil: )


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funeralxempire
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21 Sep 2020, 3:32 am

dragonsanddemons wrote:
From the moment I realized that not everyone has to have kids when they grow up, I’ve known I’m not going to have any.


This, pretty much exactly this.


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KT67
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21 Sep 2020, 3:37 am

No.

I don't want kids.

1 I can't look after them well
2 I can't control how they turn out and I'm not selfish enough to hate kids for not turning out how I plan. I would like studious, HFA kids with my hobbies who get better jobs than I ever did. It is selfish to demand they end up like that if that's not their natural inclination.
3 There is no way this body is going to become an incubator or have anything pushed out of it that doesn't have to be (bodily fluids) pushed out of it. It would feel unnatural. Yes I am aware that that's not the only option.
4 I would also not adopt cos those kids have serious issues sometimes. I have already seen it in mum's rescue dogs and that's just a dog. I'd only ever adopt a cat.

Far too many people in the world breed and want mini-mes and resent adult children for being different to them.



KT67
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21 Sep 2020, 3:40 am

funeralxempire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
From the moment I realized that not everyone has to have kids when they grow up, I’ve known I’m not going to have any.


This, pretty much exactly this.


I've known that since I was about 3. And my 'uncles' and 'aunts' who weren't mum's boyfriends/girlfriends or actual uncles/aunts were close friends to mum so they got all the perks of being in my life with none of the negatives.

I hope my cousin has kids so I can look after the kid occasionally and by 'look after' I mean do all the fun stuff kids like then spoil it rotten then return it to my cousin and listen to her complaining about how I'm 'spoiling them' :lol:

The consequences is the hardest bit.



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21 Sep 2020, 8:31 am

I'm not sure I want kids either.


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Fnord
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21 Sep 2020, 8:47 am

Men, if you don't want to become a father, either get yourself snipped or avoid doing the horizontal tango.... but if you do want to raise kids, you can try raising someone else's kids first.  Just marry a divorced mom, but don't adopt her kids.  That way, if there's a divorce, you're off the hook for child-support.


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Last edited by Fnord on 21 Sep 2020, 9:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

Muse933277
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21 Sep 2020, 8:56 am

To be honest, I don’t know if I will ever want kids or not. I don’t want kids, right in this current moment but that’s just because I’m not at the life stage to have kids.

Genetics wise, I may not want to pass my genetics on to my children. I’m extremely short for a male and also autistic and I know this has caused me a lot of emotional pain and it’s closed some doors in my life that would have otherwise been open if I were 5 ft 10 and neurotypical. So I’m afraid if I have kids, especially a boy, I’m afraid he will wind up short and autistic just like me and have the same pain and struggles.

That’s why if I ever have kids, I would prefer to have girls. I carry short person genes so if I have girls who are short, it doesn’t impact them as negatively. Also autism is genetic so if I pass on my autistic genes to girls, there’s a chance they may not even express it because girls are less likely to express autism if they carry the genes. Autism is mostly a boys condition.

Also keep in mind that if I wait too long, I may not be able to have kids. I’m a 25 year old virgin male who’s likely to remain a virgin for a while and not by choice. Say I don’t get married until I’m 40, and my partner is also 40, having kids may no longer be an option.



Last edited by Muse933277 on 21 Sep 2020, 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

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21 Sep 2020, 9:06 am

I knew I wasn't ready to be a dad when I was young enough (and trim enough, and attractive enough...)

Now that I am an old gnarled and spherical , I would love kids but nobody loves me enough to tango


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21 Sep 2020, 9:40 am

Fnord wrote:
Men, if you don't want to become a father, either get yourself snipped or avoid doing the horizontal tango.... but if you do want to raise kids, you can try raising someone else's kids first.  Just marry a divorced mom, but don't adopt her kids.  That way, if there's a divorce, you're off the hook for child-support.


I’ve managed to avoid the horizontal lambada so far, especially when one suffers PTSD. Besides, I’m sterile.


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nick007
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21 Sep 2020, 9:59 am

I NEVER wanted kids for various reasons. I didn't like kids even when I was a kid. Plus I have a lot of various disabilities that would cause me to have a very hard time dealing with kids. I'm NOT independent or responsible enough to handle raising a kid. Plus kids can be expensive & government benefits are sh!t to live on. A lot of my disabilities can potentially be inherited even thou there is no family history of most of em. Me & my mom had LOTS of fights due to my various issues until I moved out at 30. She was very upset with me for not being independent enough. She was working in a job that majorly stressed her out at times & she blamed me for not retiring sooner & for being needy when she got home. I would HATE to resent my own kid the way I felt my mom resented me sometimes. The closest I would want to having a kid is having a girlfriend/wife with various issues. My 1st girlfriend had sever ADHD & dyslexia, & some drug & alcohol issues & she was 15 when I was 20 which caused me to feel like a parent with her at times.

My current girlfriend had volunteer jobs in the past that involved working with kids & she's been told by some that she'd be a good mom. She wants kids but she has various issues she's dealing with & she knows that she could not handle having a kid rite now. She's easily overwhelmed & stressed out & she can barely handle dealing with me, our two pets one of which has special health needs, & her family needing her a lot. She does not know how to set boundaries with others & feels like she has to give until she cant give anymore & then she gets mad about being used. I wonder if she'd be willing to have kids if she were with a different guy than me, someone independent & responsible & could take better care of her. We both feel like a parent with the other sometimes.

From various things I've read on this forum & other places online, it seems fairly common for women with Aspe guys to feel like they are a mom to the Aspie. I imagine that would cause some women in relationships with Aspies to not want to have kids even if the women wanted kids before they got with their Aspie. I read of a study 1ce that three 4ths of parents of autistic kids are divorced. I guess it's extremely lucky that my parents never got divorced & are fairly happy together. I'm not sure why the divorce rate for parents of autistics would be that high but I have a couple ideas. One is that autism & autism traits can run in families & one or both parents likely have their own issues. & the other idea is that autistic kids are such a handful(I know I was) that it can cause stress in the marriage & some parents may feel the need to distance themselves from their kid by getting divorced & letting the other parent have majority custody. I would guess it's probably a combination of both ideas.


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21 Sep 2020, 12:34 pm

Just search for the childfree groups on Facebook, there is like a whole movement. The "I regret having kids" page is quite popular.


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nick007
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21 Sep 2020, 1:21 pm

Lunella wrote:
Just search for the childfree groups on Facebook, there is like a whole movement. The "I regret having kids" page is quite popular.
There's also The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement aka VHEMT.


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