jrjones9933
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Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage
23 Jun 2011, 10:14 pm
23 Jun 2011, 10:16 pm
23 Jun 2011, 10:25 pm
23 Jun 2011, 10:28 pm
23 Jun 2011, 10:31 pm
DW_a_mom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I guess that makes a bit of sense but frankly, I probably wouldn't trust that girl much. Laughing at a disabled person for being disabled is pretty shallow. She probably knows what she did but has that, "it doesn't affect me" attitude. I only forgive people once they thoroughly demonstrated that they are sorry and willing to change. :/
19 year olds laugh at what they have been taught to laugh at.
They have a whole lifetime to learn differently.
Few are the same people at 39 they were at 19 in any way, shape or form.
By the time they're 19, they should know better. Especially with all the preachings of tolerance that's in schools these days. Then again, I didn't have many friends when I was in my teens because the lot of them were immature and shallow people. I made friends in college because hey people actually read books there. What a shock.
23 Jun 2011, 10:33 pm
23 Jun 2011, 10:41 pm
Erisad wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I guess that makes a bit of sense but frankly, I probably wouldn't trust that girl much. Laughing at a disabled person for being disabled is pretty shallow. She probably knows what she did but has that, "it doesn't affect me" attitude. I only forgive people once they thoroughly demonstrated that they are sorry and willing to change. :/
19 year olds laugh at what they have been taught to laugh at.
They have a whole lifetime to learn differently.
Few are the same people at 39 they were at 19 in any way, shape or form.
By the time they're 19, they should know better. Especially with all the preachings of tolerance that's in schools these days. Then again, I didn't have many friends when I was in my teens because the lot of them were immature and shallow people. I made friends in college because hey people actually read books there. What a shock.
Should know better is not the same as actually knowing better. It really depends on who one's influences have been to date, and how they needed to act to survive socially where they were at. 19 year olds, at least NT 19 year olds, are still chameleons, tending to take on the thoughts and aspects of those they feel they need to impress. It takes maturity and high self-esteem to move beyond that, and few 19 year old girls have those qualities.
If she was 39 and doing that, I'd see a problem. At 19 ... I see someone who is still growing up and learning how to integrate ideals into reality.
When I was in college, despite all my liberal ideals, I noticed myself crossing the street when I saw certain kinds of people on the sidewalk. In my gut, I was afraid. In my conscious brain, I knew I was being prejudice, and shouldn't be. Integrating all that, over coming the hurdle, was a challenge for me. Just because you have your values and ideals set does not mean everyone does or should.
The OP has said that he plans to talk with her once his feelings have settled, and I hope the talk went well. I think its the right thing to do.
23 Jun 2011, 10:45 pm
DW_a_mom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I guess that makes a bit of sense but frankly, I probably wouldn't trust that girl much. Laughing at a disabled person for being disabled is pretty shallow. She probably knows what she did but has that, "it doesn't affect me" attitude. I only forgive people once they thoroughly demonstrated that they are sorry and willing to change. :/
19 year olds laugh at what they have been taught to laugh at.
They have a whole lifetime to learn differently.
Few are the same people at 39 they were at 19 in any way, shape or form.
By the time they're 19, they should know better. Especially with all the preachings of tolerance that's in schools these days. Then again, I didn't have many friends when I was in my teens because the lot of them were immature and shallow people. I made friends in college because hey people actually read books there. What a shock.
Should know better is not the same as actually knowing better. It really depends on who one's influences have been to date, and how they needed to act to survive socially where they were at. 19 year olds, at least NT 19 year olds, are still chameleons, tending to take on the thoughts and aspects of those they feel they need to impress. It takes maturity and high self-esteem to move beyond that, and few 19 year old girls have those qualities.
If she was 39 and doing that, I'd see a problem. At 19 ... I see someone who is still growing up and learning how to integrate ideals into reality.
When I was in college, despite all my liberal ideals, I noticed myself crossing the street when I saw certain kinds of people on the sidewalk. In my gut, I was afraid. In my conscious brain, I knew I was being prejudice, and shouldn't be. Integrating all that, over coming the hurdle, was a challenge for me. Just because you have your values and ideals set does not mean everyone does or should.
The OP has said that he plans to talk with her once his feelings have settled, and I hope the talk went well. I think its the right thing to do.
So you're saying it's acceptable for someone to ridicule a disabled person just because they're young? I would understand dismissing if a child were to do it because they're a little kid and just need to be told. By the time one is 19, they should have been introduced to a disabled person in one way or another and should understand that making fun of them isn't taken very kindly by most people. If she really wanted to conform, she would have shut the hell up and not even acknowledged it. Then to insult the OP even further makes it worse.
I hope the talk went well too but I'm expecting a lot of excuses from her to cover her ass. :/
23 Jun 2011, 10:50 pm
Erisad wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I guess that makes a bit of sense but frankly, I probably wouldn't trust that girl much. Laughing at a disabled person for being disabled is pretty shallow. She probably knows what she did but has that, "it doesn't affect me" attitude. I only forgive people once they thoroughly demonstrated that they are sorry and willing to change. :/
19 year olds laugh at what they have been taught to laugh at.
They have a whole lifetime to learn differently.
Few are the same people at 39 they were at 19 in any way, shape or form.
By the time they're 19, they should know better. Especially with all the preachings of tolerance that's in schools these days. Then again, I didn't have many friends when I was in my teens because the lot of them were immature and shallow people. I made friends in college because hey people actually read books there. What a shock.
Should know better is not the same as actually knowing better. It really depends on who one's influences have been to date, and how they needed to act to survive socially where they were at. 19 year olds, at least NT 19 year olds, are still chameleons, tending to take on the thoughts and aspects of those they feel they need to impress. It takes maturity and high self-esteem to move beyond that, and few 19 year old girls have those qualities.
If she was 39 and doing that, I'd see a problem. At 19 ... I see someone who is still growing up and learning how to integrate ideals into reality.
When I was in college, despite all my liberal ideals, I noticed myself crossing the street when I saw certain kinds of people on the sidewalk. In my gut, I was afraid. In my conscious brain, I knew I was being prejudice, and shouldn't be. Integrating all that, over coming the hurdle, was a challenge for me. Just because you have your values and ideals set does not mean everyone does or should.
The OP has said that he plans to talk with her once his feelings have settled, and I hope the talk went well. I think its the right thing to do.
So you're saying it's acceptable for someone to ridicule a disabled person just because they're young? I would understand dismissing if a child were to do it because they're a little kid and just need to be told. By the time one is 19, they should have been introduced to a disabled person in one way or another and should understand that making fun of them isn't taken very kindly by most people. If she really wanted to conform, she would have shut the hell up and not even acknowledged it. Then to insult the OP even further makes it worse.
I hope the talk went well too but I'm expecting a lot of excuses from her to cover her ass. :/
With any luck, he got apologies, not excuses.
I wouldn't hold too well for excuses, either. But someone who apologized and made an extra effort to learn more in the process ... that would be a good sign.
I didn't say it was acceptable. I said it wasn't something I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water over without allowing the other to try to work it out first.
Seriously, how many of us didn't make any mistakes that serious in youth? And if you think you didn't, would those who knew you say the same thing, that you didn't?
ValentineWiggin
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23 Jun 2011, 10:51 pm
JohnOldman
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23 Jun 2011, 10:52 pm
ValentineWiggin
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Joined: 15 May 2011
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23 Jun 2011, 10:54 pm
JohnOldman
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Joined: 30 Mar 2011
Age: 38
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Posts: 448
Location: Midwest USA (Switzerland is Where the Heart Is)
23 Jun 2011, 10:55 pm
23 Jun 2011, 10:56 pm
23 Jun 2011, 11:07 pm
23 Jun 2011, 11:16 pm
