I was so glad he was gay.....

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last night I went out to the bars with a few of my friends since I didnt have to work today. My girlfriend couldnt come because she said she had homework for summer classes......I got prettty drunk and couldn't really walk 10 blocks to my apartment and my friend Ryan (Yes Ryan is a girls name) let me stay at her place which was a block from the bars. Her couch was tiny so I just took the right side of her big bed and passed out. nothing weird, its just a place to sleep. When I got home that next morning I found Rachel in OUR bed with some guy!! ! I was furious, I screamed at her and demanded to know what was happening. He was a really good looking dude.....anyway she said he was a 'classmate' and that he was gay and they 'studied' till like 5 AM so she just let him sleep there. I wasn't coninced and I thought she sounded like she was making stuff up. I called her unpleasant things and stormed out, knocking over a lot of stuff in the process.

I was at my friends fraternity and was crying over how she could cheat on me....but my friend suggested i shoud check out the good looking guy's facebook and I was glad I did. He is so gay, he makes bruno look tame....hes got pictures of him making out with his boyfriend(s) and in gay pride marches in San fransisco. I guess I had stormed out too fast without letting them explain. When i came back and apologized to both of them, rachel had somethign to accuse me of too, her friends saw me going home with Ryan the night before so she demanded an explanation for that. Nothing happened at all but I didnt have proof like she did, so in the end it was I who had some explaining to do. I was never more glad that a guy was so flaming gay in my life. Before I stormed out of my apt, I threatened Mark (gay dude) that I would beat his @$$ into oblivion if I found out he even touched Rachel. His reply was a wink and 'yeah i'd like that". at the time i took it as sarcasm, but i just thought about it and hes so gay hahahahha. i went into this losing a girlfriend, and came out retaining that gf and gaining a gay friend. what a wacky day

make sure you try sleeping with a lesbian and see if your girlfriend likes it.

Hang on a second, so it's ok for you to share a bed with another girl but not if your girlfriend does the same with another guy?

I suggest you have a discussion about boundaries and that you both stick to them.

temper, temper...

Seems like a coincidence that your girlfriend was sleeping with another guy the exact same night you slept at another girls place. Weird.

yeah it was OK for me to sleep in Ryans bed because I personally know what my intentions are, to sleep. Also, between me and my gf I always get way more drunk and am usually not in good shape to make it home....so It is common knowledge between us that I often sleep in the beds of girls as well as other guys because i cant make it home, she never drinks to that point and always goes home because she wants to sleep on our own bed, so I wasnt expecting to find anyone else in her bed because she didn't even go out that night, she was studying.. Either way, I do have trust issues.....I have something called Borderline Personality Disorder so I am glad this was resolved somewhat peacefully. I was just really threatened because Mark is a really handsome and tall guy and when I saw him in that bed it immediately provoked a violent response. He made me literally feel ugly, small and unmanly...until I realized he would be more interested in my pants than Rachels.

OP, you often drink heavily enough that you're too wasted to make it home to your own bed? I know you're 21 (and clearly like to party), but most 21 year old guys who are drinking as heavily as you are do so because they don't have a gf to go home to. I think it might be time to consider why you're drinking this heavily so often.

yeah, i drink to the point where I cant make it home sometimes. I drink that often because I study all week and go to work so I want two nights a week to just have lots of fun if Im up for it.

you've got some whack double-standards going on that you'd be upset she had a guy over when you sleep in other women's beds. treat her how you expect to be treated, and allow her as much room as you are taking. you can't put her on a shelf to be chaste and alone while you are out getting drunk and crashing in women's beds.

also, he may be a flaming 99% gay man. i am sure that there were other places in the house for him to sleep. it wasn't like he was at an overflowing party and that was the last corner of bed to crash on.

lastly, if your relationship is at the point where you are getting smashed on a regular basis when your girlfriend goes home alone to an empty bed, then "Mark" is the least of your troubles. while couples should maintain their own separate activities and keep up their own social lives, if this is happening regularly then be warned. consider this situation a herald of things to come.

if you want to have a committed adult relationship, then you need to start acting like you are a committed adult... in a relationship.

Your girlfriend on the other hand is not a mind reader, so how is she to know what your real intentions are?

If you expect her to trust your word then shouldn't you ought to trust hers too? she knew what her intentions were that night and she knew her friend was gay, yet you didn't take her word for it that nothing had happened; you lost the rag completely and threatened her friend.

Stop trying to justifying your own behaviour if you are hurt when someone does it back to you.

Agree with hyperlexian. Treat her like you want to be treated and don't sleep in other girls' beds if you don't want her sleeping in the same bed with a guy, gay or not. It's not fair to expect something of someone else that you don't expect of yourself, unless there's an explicit agreement in place.

~Kate

Well, you did originally use the words "usually" and "often" to describe the frequency that you drink to the point of incapacity. Now you're using the word "sometimes." Only you know the truth of the matter, but it seems like your drinking - which causes you to sleep in other peoples' beds, and not in bed with your gf - is having an impact on your relationship. Maybe you should take another look at that. Good luck.

I do go out to party a lot but sleeping over a a friends house only happens like once or twice a month. its not a big deal, Rachel does it at her friends places too. yes, I over reacted and apologized and made it right. And also some of ya expressed concern over my drinking affecting my relationship....it doesnt at all other than this one time...if anything Rachel causes more trouble than me when shes drunk. we're in college and I think this is pretty typical so i am not that concerned. i want to look back at this in a few years and laugh about it....