Rather do other stuff than have a relationship?

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Hi everyone,

Just wondering if anyone else feels the same way. I've been in relationships before, I've been in love before, I'm a virgin but definitely not asexual...but just wondering if anyone sometimes feels that they're happy doing other stuff rather than being in a relationship? For instance my special interests are really intense and I can spend days just drawing buildings. I'd rather do that than have a boyfriend sometimes, but this makes me feel selfish and introverted and I shouldn't be like this. I want to rewire my brain to not get so much happiness from my buildings so I can live a normal life and be in a normal relationship with someone. Does anyone know how I'd go about this? Does anyone else feel the same way? Is there a way where you can still have your interests and be in a normal relationship?

Cad

I felt this since I was a child... I was in relationships but they never worked out... So I decided rather than trying to make a relationship work I'll just concentrate on work... when it happens it'll... not bothered anymore..

Thanks pree10shun...I know the feeling.

Same here. I don't like the suffocation of a relationship.

I have been thinking about the whole doing something I enjoy/being in a relationship for a while and my last conclusion was that I need to look for someone who enjoys doing this kind of activities.

For example I used to go to the cinema to see animation films on my own, I enjoyed them and everyone I invited along was "too much of a grown up".
I met some people at uni a couple of months ago that enjoy spending time looking for ticket sales(havent paid a full ticket in 3 months) and we´ve gone to different kind of films(including animations)and Ive discovered that its a more pleasant activity(you laugh at each other jokes, you have someone to discuss the film with...)

So right now Im looking for someone that shares some of my interests/wont ind joining me at this activities for a simple reason. Im not going to stop doing this activities anytime soon and I´d like to spend sometime with my partner(would be willing to get involved with their interests and find a balanced schedule between them if we had different interests)

hale_bopp same here...I can't stand suffocating people and clingy people, and guys who are fake and try to impress me by taking me out for dinner at fancy restaurants just so they can get in my pants...argh!

Spongy - well I can relate to that exactly because i absolutely love animations, I do them myself and have been doing comics since age 6. I physically can't stop drawing them, playing music and being obsessed with buildings so I guess I need to find someone who either is interested in these things, does them themselves, or has other things they do that they can do when I'm doing them. So compilcated

I don't even understand relationships. Damn relationships, how do they work? What, you mean you actually have to do stuff with the other person? Heh...

I want to 'end up' in a relationship, I think, but for years I'm so happy with my special interests. For me they're just as good as love, if not better.

I thought so before.Several months ago. But I no longer think so.

I have one or two intense interests. I love relationships in the same degree as I have in my interest

Yes I do. I gave up on trying anything, and devoting my energy into other directions.My friends who are in relationships / married ask me how I manage to do the amount of stuff I do, and while I do consider myself a very active person, I think much of it is owed to the fact that I am single.

I know the feeling. I went in and out of relationships for years, the first time I was single for ages was 2 years ago, and I got so much done!! !
I've been in love with a couple of guys before, but one of them left the country and one of them said he liked being single (he's a really nerdy artistic independent sort of guy I guess). If I don't feel intensely about someone it's hard for me to keep interested in a relationship, I just get bored. And most guys my age I know have no other interests other than sex, and I find that a bit of a dry conversation topic, especially if it's the only thing they talk about.

Ask some one a car they hate the most. Then ask them if they have previously own that car.

Ask someone who is happy being single( mainly an NT). Then ask them if they had been in a relationship.

Why do you think that is

Both are fine. I'll date AND try to keep my day to day routine.

I dunno?

The real fun of a relationship is sharing your interests with another person.

Well, sometimes I feel like being single is the best way to go, that way the only person's needs I need worry about are mine and mine alone, therefore it goes without saying that my time is mine and I can do with it as I see fit.

But at other times I go out, see at least 20 couples walking down the street hand-in-hand, and I think "I hate them two, walking along all la-dee-dah-dee-dah down the street, making it painfully obvious that they're a happy couple. D**ks."

Basically if I'm in a good mood, I like being single, but if I'm in a bad mood, I look at people who are taken and think "Why can't I be like that?"

But I don't know if there are any girls who would put up with a guitar-obsessed, pool-playing, anime-loving, collectible-loving, Iron Maiden-worshipping, drift-obsessed arcade-goer who needs time away from everyone to centre himself.

But I guess that's life.