Men and Women have a balance of problems

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hale_bopp
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28 Jun 2011, 11:33 pm

Try not to make this a men vs woman war.

Men:
Insecurity about dick size and appearance
Often having to make the first move
Pressure to have great jobs
Pressure to be "tall and strong" looking
Being called "creepy" more often than women

Women:
Being treated as though your opinion is a joke in the workplace
Pressure to be hair free
Massive Pressure to look like a supermodel
Periods/Pregnancy -> With that all the hormonal stuff
Being classed as "crazy" because of hormonal stuff

Feel free to add more.



Kiran
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29 Jun 2011, 12:34 am

women are in constant threat of getting beaten, raped, molested, stalked and sexually harassed and can't do things like walking alone at nights for that very reason.

men have to overcome shyness, if they're shy, to ask a girl out.


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Chronos
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29 Jun 2011, 1:29 am

Though men are usually tasked with making the first move in a relationship, I think there is more of an expectation of women to carry it (actually there was a study that supported this notion).

Though men are expected to be confident, women are expected to be warm and energetic, and "fun"....that can be very difficult demand to meet.

Women get marginalized at lost faster than men as we age....most men will barely date a women their age after 30, leaving women in their 30's to compete with women in their 20's for partners their own age.

And women have a finite amount of time to be mothers if they want a family.

I'm not sure what the male equivalents to the last two would be.



CockneyRebel
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29 Jun 2011, 6:29 am

Reading all this makes me proud to look like Mick Avory did in the Mid 60s.

Women are expected to be small and weak which is something that I will never be, thank God.

Women are expected to pluck their eyebrows and wear makeup. Something that I refuse to do.

The only clothes that a woman can buy these days are fitted and the shirts and tops rarely go past a woman's waist. Thank God for Value Village.


Men have to be the breadwinner.

Being of a male mind despite my real gender, I can't think of any more. Men seem to have a lot more advantages.


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chrissyrun
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29 Jun 2011, 8:06 am

Kiran wrote:
women are in constant threat of getting beaten, raped, molested, stalked and sexually harassed and can't do things like walking alone at nights for that very reason.

men have to overcome shyness, if they're shy, to ask a girl out.


Women have to overcome shyness too!

Also, speaking for the girls side here....

*Women constantly worry not just about looking like a supermodel but being like a supermodel, acting in a certain way

*That means more social pressures

*We are expected to be in a relationship, I know more single guys from my NT circle than girls

*We have to not be weak, but "compassionate", well if you don't have empathy, you don't have it

*I'd like to reiterate the make-up thing, because it seems like eeeeeevery girl in the world has make-up on, and it is pointless if you want good skin without all the work

*We have to wait for guys to ask because it is more weird for girls to ask (This reminds me, I signed up on my extra email for relationship advice thinking maybe maybe it could help me get into one and I read through it and the main point was that the guy had to be the decision, the guy had to be the one chasing, the guy, the guy...just reiterates my point)

*Aging is 10 harder for girls, if guys get wrinkles they don't care...if girls do, it is the end of the world.

*We are expected to do girly things like dance and stuff like that, so the girls who don't do that are discriminated against, especially in sports (luckily I joined the gender neutral sport of cross-country). But people can be cruel, I remember some of the guys mocking the girls on the softball team that they were lesbos and I knew some of those girls, a lot of them had boyfriends, they were making fun and it was just stupid

*Along those same lines, being a girl sucks because boys think we are weak! Because we are expected to be, they assume that we are. That means, even if we aren't and we prove that we aren't, they ignore that fact because that is the way women are supposed to be

I could seriously write about this all day, but I'll stop here and let you think about that



LadySera
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30 Jun 2011, 2:43 am

Chronos wrote:
Women get marginalized at lost faster than men as we age....most men will barely date a women their age after 30, leaving women in their 30's to compete with women in their 20's for partners their own age.


Exactly. If I want a man I want one within my age range, (I'd prefer mid 20s to late 30s), but I when get hit on it's by guys who aren't old enough to drink or are old enough to be my dad (like 50). I'm in my late 20s.

I was on a dating site years ago (so I was in my early 20s at the time) and they had a thing where you could send this automated you're cute type of message. If I received one I didn't like I'd ignore it & most of the guys would too. However once this guy in his 30s told me that I was too old for him. I told him my age & he then told me that maybe I shouldn't wear so much makeup and get a different hair color because I looked 35 too him (yes, around his age). People are ridiculous and hurtful.



Jonsi
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30 Jun 2011, 9:27 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Men:
Pressure to be "tall and strong" looking
Being called "creepy" more often than women.

Both of these apply greatly to me.

I'm like five foot four. :P



Erisad
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30 Jun 2011, 10:43 am

Men: Have to jump through a million hoops to prove that they are trustworthy and faithful to their partner. >.<



OddFinn
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30 Jun 2011, 12:14 pm

Both have problems, and many of the problems are self-created or learned. Why can't people just act the way children act while playing? If they want to play with someone, they go to that person and ask: "Want to play with me?"

Instead, people have complicated rules for their behavior. And some rules are just plain silly or even contradictory to their actual wishes and intentions.


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MXH
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30 Jun 2011, 12:42 pm

Before we make comparisons like these we first have to make categories, which we can then use to generalize the findings. Categories such as social standards, relationship standards and work standards. Its the only way to make a fair comparison.



Greatsharkbite
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30 Jun 2011, 6:46 pm

I'll bite.

Men:

Pressure to be socially suave.

Negatively stereotype moreso than women. In all movies the girlfriend/wife or whatever always deal with the guys incredibly stupid, obnoxious problems.

If guys are slightly bummed out looking, we're a thug, or we're some dangerous hoodlum serial killer.

Men are expected to approach women, not vice versa.

Men put down and talk smack about each other all the time and have to deal with it from other guys cuz "its a guy thing" aka testosterone.

Men get more of a gay stigma then women do. If a guys well built, talks properly, too skinny, walks a certain way, likes poetry, twilight movies, likes to read, he's gay. Women are only negatively stereotyped as gay based on appearance.

Are expected to pay for dinner. (I know I personally like doing this for my gf--but why is it usually not a choice??)



Women:

Deal with periods.

Get harassed by the opposite sex often.

Get approached and hit on for physically shallow reasons.

Get negatively stereotyped as irrationally emotional.

Deal with pregnancy. (Some women actually like this)

Have the incredibly ignorant society standard of beauty to deal with. Are treated as "princesses" and not as individuals.

Women who don't match a stereotypical covergirl, are ignored, chosen as a last resort, or just not noticed.



chrissyrun
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30 Jun 2011, 6:54 pm

Greatsharkbite wrote:
I'll bite.

Men:

Pressure to be socially suave. .......psh, they have pressure to be men...all they do is have to play sports and grunt.

Negatively stereotype moreso than women. In all movies the girlfriend/wife or whatever always deal with the guys incredibly stupid, obnoxious problems.

If guys are slightly bummed out looking, we're a thug, or we're some dangerous hoodlum serial killer.

Men are expected to approach women, not vice versa.....because we've been told to let the man approach us

Men put down and talk smack about each other all the time and have to deal with it from other guys cuz "its a guy thing" aka testosterone.......girls take crap, it is just not as easy to notice. At least guys are blatant about it.

Men get more of a gay stigma then women do. If a guys well built, talks properly, too skinny, walks a certain way, likes poetry, twilight movies, likes to read, he's gay. Women are only negatively stereotyped as gay based on appearance.

Are expected to pay for dinner. (I know I personally like doing this for my gf--but why is it usually not a choice??)



Women:

Deal with periods.

Get harassed by the opposite sex often.

Get approached and hit on for physically shallow reasons.

Get negatively stereotyped as irrationally emotional.

Deal with pregnancy. (Some women actually like this)

Have the incredibly ignorant society standard of beauty to deal with. Are treated as "princesses" and not as individuals.

Women who don't match a stereotypical covergirl, are ignored, chosen as a last resort, or just not noticed.



Greatsharkbite
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30 Jun 2011, 8:00 pm

Well about the socially suave comment, I didn't really mean like social in general. I meant more in order to talk to women. For better or worse, women in general like confidence in a guy. Especially in the highschool years where kids do nothing but play immature mind games, being smooth socially is important for a guy to date.

Shy little "Ashley" just has to be receptive to the guy she likes or doesnt like. With enough string, a guy will ask a girl out without her ever putting herself on the spot.

I'm not saying there aren't downsides, or more to elaborate upon this (There most definitely is) Just when it comes to dating, the shy girl has more options and the guy in general has more pressure.



Quote:
.....because we've been told to let the man approach us


This is fair, its actually a detrimental practice for both men and women imho. Because shy guys (and there are plenty) might actually get asked out if girls weren't brought up that way.

Quote:
girls take crap, it is just not as easy to notice. At least guys are blatant about it.


Girls do take crap and I actually wanted to mention that, but I tried to make my post as concise as possible. I wasn't referring to something unfriendly when I say that either, I mean as a general way of socializing, some girls do it also just unfortunately its more in my experience likely that guys will do it more.

Its more a masculine thing, not exclusive.



hale_bopp
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30 Jun 2011, 10:14 pm

Jonsi wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Men:
Pressure to be "tall and strong" looking
Being called "creepy" more often than women.

Both of these apply greatly to me.

I'm like five foot four. :P


That's weird, I don't get any creepy vibes from you.



bucephalus
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30 Jun 2011, 10:43 pm

Men: 1. (possibly) being separated from their own kids when a relationship breaks down
2. peer pressure to be interesting
3. Lack of things to play with ;)

Women: 1. (possibly) being stuck with their own kids when a relationship breaks down
2. women's stuff [insert everything i don't understand here]
3. back-stabbing between female friends (why is it so ruthless?)
4. peer pressure to be attractive and interesting
5. I like this thread but it won't be long before someone comes along and screws it up :(


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jastay3
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05 Jul 2011, 2:48 am

chrissyrun wrote:
Kiran wrote:
women are in constant threat of getting beaten, raped, molested, stalked and sexually harassed and can't do things like walking alone at nights for that very reason.

men have to overcome shyness, if they're shy, to ask a girl out.


Women have to overcome shyness too!

Also, speaking for the girls side here....

*Women constantly worry not just about looking like a supermodel but being like a supermodel, acting in a certain way

*That means more social pressures

*We are expected to be in a relationship, I know more single guys from my NT circle than girls

*We have to not be weak, but "compassionate", well if you don't have empathy, you don't have it

*I'd like to reiterate the make-up thing, because it seems like eeeeeevery girl in the world has make-up on, and it is pointless if you want good skin without all the work

*We have to wait for guys to ask because it is more weird for girls to ask (This reminds me, I signed up on my extra email for relationship advice thinking maybe maybe it could help me get into one and I read through it and the main point was that the guy had to be the decision, the guy had to be the one chasing, the guy, the guy...just reiterates my point)

*Aging is 10 harder for girls, if guys get wrinkles they don't care...if girls do, it is the end of the world.

*We are expected to do girly things like dance and stuff like that, so the girls who don't do that are discriminated against, especially in sports (luckily I joined the gender neutral sport of cross-country). But people can be cruel, I remember some of the guys mocking the girls on the softball team that they were lesbos and I knew some of those girls, a lot of them had boyfriends, they were making fun and it was just stupid

*Along those same lines, being a girl sucks because boys think we are weak! Because we are expected to be, they assume that we are. That means, even if we aren't and we prove that we aren't, they ignore that fact because that is the way women are supposed to be

I could seriously write about this all day, but I'll stop here and let you think about that


Well, I might want a woman who LOOKED like a supermodel, but I darn sure don't want one who acts like one.