Fear of intimacy

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I think that I'm afraid of intimacy. The thought of exchanging body fluids with someone makes me cringe at times. I have never had a gf or been kissed. I often have dreams in which I'm kissing someone but I don't know how I would handle it in real life. Does anyone else have this problem?

I did until I met someone I trust completely.
Before that, anyone touching me was repulsive.

I've never kissed before, nor have I had a girlfriend. But I do think that I would not like intimacy.

Kissing doesn't bother me. The thought of actually having sex for the first time terrifies me because I've heard of everything that goes wrong and I fear that it will all happen to me. >.<

*flame shield up*

At the risk of going off topic here; What exactly does intimacy mean Different people have different definitions for it. Some think it means having sex but others think it means being physically or emotionally close to someone.
Is this post specifically about being afraid of sex or is it about being uncomfortable being close to others I think I have an extremely strong fear of intimacy but I secretly desire it. I do NOT like being touched & I am very uncomfortable expressing my thoughts & feelings to others. I am an extremely private person offline & I think it would take quite a while before I can open up with someone & like being physical with em

Last edited by nick007 on 08 Sep 2010, 10:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

For every person the definition is going to be slightly different and based on where their fear level is. I think we should all spell it out.

I am terrified of emotional intimacy on many levels, and physical intimacy (including sex) bothers me sometimes as well. It's difficult to explain to the woman I love that I'm sorry, but not right now, I really can't do this.

However, with patience and the right person, going through that terrifying ordeal makes it worthwhole.

Yup, I definitely have it.

*I nearly had a heart-attack right before my first date

*I don't let anybody touch my face

*I don't let anyone kiss me

*I rarely let people hug me

*I get uncomfortable when anybody talks about their boyfriend/girlfriend

*I get even more uncomfortable when someone asks me if i have one

*I can't even say a guy is hot, I say he is cute (which mean the same thing in my mind, but it's hard to say)

Trust me, it doesn't seem so yucky once you actually get with someone you really like.

I have a BF (we are engaged) and I hate it when we are kissing and he goes for the tongue. Happens very rarely, but I find it gross.

Its taken me a VERY long time to get to the point where we can share food\cutlery. Even the other day, my bf was eating a snake lolly and asked if I wanted a bit. He ripped off the end bit to make sure it didn't have any saliva on it, knowing that I would refuse otherwise.

Real things are different from how you imagine it.

How can you have such idea without even practise?

When I was young, I hated being touched. My mother could touch me, and I'd tolerate people like doctors, but anyone else would get a bad reaction from me. I was like this until my teenage years.

It was in my later school years and on into university that I started thinking, if I ever wanted to get into a relationship or particularly this thing called sex that everyone seemed so obsessed about, I'd need to get over that. So I started slowly and built up. Handshakes were a big step for me.

My first kiss was aged 20. It was a little chaste with hindsight, but it blew my mind at the time. It was indescribable. It took me a while longer to get further than that, but I don't remember my first sexual encounter anywhere near as vividly as that first kiss. It's a little sad to think that I'll never experience a kiss like that again - the novelty is a big part of it.

We fear intimacy for a very simple reason - it's intense. For aspies, especially so - we feel sensations of all kinds with much greater sensitivity. Take it slowly, but take the chance. You might regret it, but you'll definitely regret not doing it.

I love kissing and cuddling, but am quite sexually-averse, personally-
seems to be a prominent anecdotal link here and over at AVEN between Autism and Asexuality. Sexual aversion is NOT synonymous with Asexuality, but the former can develop from the latter, as was my case. Both being correlatively-related to Autism makes sense, if we understand Autism to involve neurological differences in processing, and perception of sensation.

Same. I'm extremely affectionate with my BF... but not with anyone else. I can only stand hugs/handshakes from friends/acquaintances. I dislike touching anyone I don't feel comfortable with. Even my parents.

Yes and no. Depends on what bodily fluids are being exchanged and who they're being exchanged by.

the fear adds up to the excitement. believe me, we actually have it much better than regulars because of the tactile and general oversensitivity, as long as don't force yourself into anything.

This describes me also. I have had a few relationships, one long, one brief, and although there was intimacy, I found I didn't enjoy being touched by them and I loathed touching them and could seldom do it, and didn't even want to try.

With the man I see now, I enjoy him touching me, I enjoy kissing and I make a real effort to go and kiss him and touch him too (even though my social anxiety makes it quite difficult). I do not like anyone else touching me really, not even my parents. I wish it were different, but that is how it is. I think I was ok hugging my mother as a child, but that changed as I got older.

It really does make a difference if you are with someone you really do feel strongly for and where there is a connection.