heartbreak from aspie Boyfriend

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monkees4va
Deinonychus
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11 Jul 2011, 3:34 am

I've never felt like this.
being an aspie myself, I understand the lack of social q's etc that accompany the condition. But, because of my (now ex) boyfriends perception of my actions at a party, he broke up with me on that night and asked one of my closest friends out on the same night. Admittingly we were all a little drunk, but I cannot see how he came to that conclusion. All that happened was that he came in when I was admitting our relationship to the very friend he asked out (we were supposed to keep it secret, long story) and I told him then that she now knew (only reason I told her was that I was upset and she caught me out). He then saw this as I was breaking up with him and telling everyone, so asked her out, then told me when he had in a flippant manner which didn't help. I broke down just as our relationship of three years did (I also have mild bipolar, and went on a depressive episode) embarrassing myself and everyone there.
At the time I thought he was just being a terrible human being, but after having a long talk with him yesterday he admits the only reason that he asked my friend out was because he thought I'd ended it. Even if we got together again, my close friend admitted that she's had strong feelings for him for 4/5 years and shes over the moon that shes got a chance. He doesn't want to go out with her, but he's now painted himself in a corner. I've told him our friendship cannot continue because he's hurt me so bad. We'd only made love three hours before everything happened.
I don't know if i'm asking a question or making a statement, but I just hurt so much right now. I never thought the only aspie I knew (and was my first love) would hurt me this way.


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"Do or do not; there is no try." -Yoda
Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
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TheygoMew
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11 Jul 2011, 4:33 am

I don't understand.

Did he break up with you or did you break up with him?

But, because of my (now ex) boyfriends perception of my actions at a party, he broke up with me on that night and asked one of my closest friends out on the same night.
He then saw this as I was breaking up with him and telling everyone, so asked her out, then told me when he had in a flippant manner which didn't help.

When there is a long story involved leaving out alot of details it's hard to understand.

Also, you guys were together for 3 years but supposed to keep it a secret? Some relationship.

She liked him longer than you two were together.

He asks her out that same night.

Something is off with this story. Why would someone tell you to keep your relationship a secret that long?

How could you keep that long of a relationship secret from a friend?

Was he seeing her behind your back and playing both of you?

He doesn't want to see her but...oh no now he's forced to see her because of one night?

The only way a man says keep your mouth shut about your relationship for years is because you are his side dish.

Did you two live together? How often did you get to see him?
Did the two of you share holidays together on the days of that holiday? If not, what were his reasons for not doing so?

Are you sure he's really an aspie or did he pick up on your aspieness and decided to pretend he was as well?



hale_bopp
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11 Jul 2011, 4:44 am

I read that 3 times and didn't make any sense of it. Can you be a little clearer?
So who actually broke up with who first? And why would he accuse you of breaking up with him after he dumped you? Brain fart.

Nevermind, I think i've got it.

How on earth could he think you talking about the relationship to someone else means you're breaking up with him? I simply don't get it.
I've been kept as someones dirty little secret before and it makes you feel really small. I'm sorry for the whole situation, it sounds horrible.

First you need to establish why he thought you were breaking up with him, once you know that you may see reasoning behind his actions.