Problem complementing women

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I have a problem giving complements to women about their looks. When I do give a complement, it's usually something about their personality. It seems to me NT's love dishing out complements, almost getting to their knees worshiping a girl they just met. It isn't that I think Im above them and look down on them, I just like getting to know a girl before I give them recognition for being beautiful. If its someone I'v never met before, how on earth do I know if their just an all around rude person? In other words, not someone that deserves a complement. To summarize my point, does this make ME rude?
I haven't really put much thought into it, but what are your feelings? Do any of you have the same problem?

You seem to be thinking that women are EXPECTING compliments, and you have to give them to get anywhere with them. Not true. They usually know the difference between a sincere compliment and one made to get 'points'. So basically, don't give compliments unless you mean it AND you genuinely want the girl to know it. Trust me, women are complimented by men on their looks ALL the time, they won't miss one less.

Actually men rarely compliment women on their looks today unless it is their wife or girlfriend, because there is too much potential for the compliment to be inappropriate in the context of the relationship, or for misunderstanding as to what the compliment is implying.

For example, if you told a female friend how beautiful you thought she was, she might take it to mean you are romantically interested in her.

If you tell a female co-worker you like the way that skirt looks on her, she might feel uncomfortable given that the context is a work environment, and your comment might constitute sexual harassment.

If you told a female friend that you really liked her outfit....well, she might get the impression that you're gay to be quite honest.

So men usually refrain from complimenting women on things such as their looks and outfit.

The exception is when the man is romantically interested in the woman and is trying to indicate that to her, then telling her she is pretty, or she has lovely eyes, or beautiful hair can yield positive results as long as you aren't trying to pick up a co-worker.

Most men that have complimented me were doing so to get into my pants. I have gotten some genuine compliments, but they're rare.

why compliment their looks at all? attractive people know that they're attractive (as long as they're sane and don't have body dysmorphic issues). unattractive people know that they are unattractive. why not be nice and compliment on something that they have achieved?

if you absolutely have to get so hung up on looks, maybe try to compliment on how the girl has matched her outfit with her (insert adjective) eye/hair colour.

I'd just like to point out that what you do depends on some extent to the culture you're in. I've found that what works with an American woman (yes, overgeneralizing) doesn't have the same affect on women from, say, Latin cultures -- and vise versa.

if you are interested in a woman, i think it's a good idea to get to know her and compliment her on things she has accomplished, or on interesting personality traits first of all. but once you have gotten to know her and established the direction you are going in together it is worthwhile to offer compliments to her about her appearance.

to me, it's all about context and level of familiarity. if a compliment about how i look is one of the first things i hear from a man, i wonder if that is where my value lies, in his eyes. but once i know that he is interested in me as a person, i like to hear positive things about my appearance... i guess because it would have some weight and importance behind it.

if i was considering entering the dating stage of a relationship with a man who NEVER complimented my appearance, i would wonder if he was just interested as a platonic friend, or if he didn't really think i am physically attractive at all. but if a man demonstrated that he cared for some mental and emotional aspects and then told me something positive about how i look, it would be quite welcome,.

one other note is that people may feel a little odd when you compliment their appearance as it is kind of unchangeable, so it is hard to feel proud of that stuff. they also may have grown accustomed to hearing a lot of comments about a specific outstanding feature so it is no longer interesting to get a compliment about it. it's more effective and positive sometimes to hear about your different or unusual features that people don't compliment very often.

my ex-husband would often find people's supposed "flaws" most attractive of all (big nose, pale skin, crooked teeth), so he would compliment those things on a woman. it would embarrass the woman a little at first as it is shocking to have someone notice and comment on things like that, but she would rapidly become *extremely* endeared to him. knowing your flaws are appreciated by someone can sometimes be a heady feeling.