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JanuaryMan
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21 Apr 2012, 3:59 pm

Hi

A girl made a lot of contact with me on an Aspie dating site. And it turns out she was quite nice to talk to and seemed friendly on the profile. So I thought I'd be nice and respond. We soon clicked! The last night ended up chatting for a good couple of hours on the phone.

Well....today. She was a completely different person. And said she was mixed up and sorry if it seemed like she was leading me on. Now, I did this. I texted her with my fullest sympathies. Offered her her space, acknowledge this message that she was just in a moment of weakness, wanted some company but not a relationship. Said whenever (if ever) she wanted to talk to me again she knows where to find me. Simple enough right?

Then 2-3 hours later I get a text saying "what did u say". So I was completely lost and asked what was up. Then she started raging at me and threatening all sorts of random things. And started bringing up half naked refugees and false arrests and talking in third person? Some of the messages didn't even connect to one another so what do you guys think has happened? I think she lives at home or with a carer.

I came up with these possible scenarios:
*Split personalities.
*Paranoid about something intended as a compliment and got angry that I took what was probably rejection so very well?
*An abusive parent, carer or friend was nicking her phone and typing this to me, because when I asked to phone to see if it was her it rang for 3 rings then someone hung it up. She was texting non stop at one point so this seems odd.
*She was scared this would become a relationship so she made up whatever weird stuff she could to scare me away?
*Might be lower functioning than me.

Well guys, it went from the point I was shocked/concerned to just amused and baffled. Could you shed any light on this?



DogsWithoutHorses
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21 Apr 2012, 4:29 pm

I think she may have some issues you aren't equipped to deal with (whatever they may be). Some people aren't able to be in a relationship and she may be one. Maybe just for now, maybe at all. I would not pursue someone who was acting so erratic so early on unless they have a good explanation and/or change.


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cathylynn
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21 Apr 2012, 4:29 pm

have no idea what's up with her, but i'd leave her completely alone.



JanuaryMan
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21 Apr 2012, 4:37 pm

Yeah, I told her she didn't have to do crazy stuff to get me to leave her alone. Just ask me. But after that I made it clear I was leaving her alone and (for like the millionth time) respect her decision. No messages coming in now. So must be safe.

Sucks, though. I used this dating site cos I really don't get on with NT girls in an intimate way and I keep attracting girls from broken homes and such. And just wanted to meet someone who was in the same boat as me and had similar interests, so things could develop slowly and over time. Maybe I should just not talk to anybody on there now and just leave dating sites alone. The last time I got a message from another dating site was someone making sarcastic remarks for no reason. Will just take it as a sign.



nick007
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22 Apr 2012, 2:55 am

I think she may of been wanting a relationship at the very beginning but she got overwhelmed after chatting for a bit & then she fell into a bad meltdown when she got your message. Best to forget about her & move on


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JanuaryMan
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22 Apr 2012, 8:22 am

Yeah, guess so, dude. Everything seems fine now. She seems normal again and just started messaging me. I think as you say, just got overwhelmed and wasn't equipped to handle it. And likewise, I wasn't equipped to handle the meltdown responses. I'll just message every now and again and keep the talk brief and about hobbies. Not gonna pursue anything now, and definitely will just block contact if another thing like this happens.



glow
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28 Apr 2012, 11:34 am

Well, hello fellow aspies.
I would just like to comment on this post on behalf of my best friend who is in utter turmoil after seeing this man on her browser site.
Just to clear things up on this matter, she was not intending to fall in the trap of 'you are leading him on' as was previously suggested but to rather 'hear him out.'
I believe in light of all neurotypical spectrum disorders people tend to play down their own defences for fear of rejection and look for support from
other 'likeminded' people to steer them forwards into the next sphere of life. This person who she got involved with obviously wasnt thinking clearly
about his own way of thinking let alone some of the allegations supporting a long list of discrimatory accusations made about not just her but a long list
of ill-affected women, who he thinks are powerless to their own defences because they have been ill-dependant on themselves and their own resources.
This man, has also suffered with depression and nervous breakdowns in the past most likely to do with jobs which may be a contributory factor to his behaviour towards any woman.


JanuaryMan
A girl made a lot of contact with me on an Aspie dating site. And it turns out she was quite nice to talk to and seemed friendly on the profile. So I thought I'd be nice and respond. We soon clicked! The last night ended up chatting for a good couple of hours on the phone.

Well....today. She was a completely different person. And said she was mixed up and sorry if it seemed like she was leading me on. Now, I did this. I texted her with my fullest sympathies. Some of the messages didn't even connect to one another so what do you guys think has happened? I think she lives at home or with a carer.

Well guys, it went from the point I was shocked/concerned to just amused and baffled. Could you shed any light on this?[/quote]



hyperlexian
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30 Apr 2012, 5:07 pm

please keep personal conflict that involves other members off the forum.


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