Aspergers and dating

Post Reply New Topic

I was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 13 I'm 29 now and just 2 years ago I decided to put myself out there for a girl and she actually accepted me for me, which was great! I did let her know after the 5th date? that I was diagnosed with Aspergers and what came with it, she was fine with it at time, then 3 months later she decided she had enough of my inability to really connect with her and dumped me on Christmas. Its been almost 2 years since then and I've been trying to really get myself back out there and all I keep hearing from every single girl after just one date is "I didn't feel a connection" WTF? Thats just aggravating because I feel for somebody like me there will not be that connection at first, it's going to take some time, yet I can't seem to find someone patient enough to give me a little more time to get comfortable with them. How do I go about dealing with this? Should I disclose my aspergers on the first date? if so how would I go about doing it? Thanks guys

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to L&D)

You'll also find that the "don't give up" thing has a higher failure rate for AS than for NT. They can be that little locomotive from a kid story repeating "I know I can! I know I can!" while pulling the load up the hill and live happily ever after but with AS you'll end up a rusting locomotive at the bottom of a hill with a burnt out engine.

You at least are lucky to have met honest women. You got dumped. Those that don't dump you are worse. Then you go to hell without paperwork.

^ True. I've actually asked a woman to formally dump me.

Sad to say that there will never be the so-called "connection" for some of us. That thing where you look into each other's eyes and you don't have to say anything but you know exactly what the other one means? That will never happen. A person has to be able to get over that fact to be with you. One just has to provide a different incentive for them to try to get to know one better. That there is something more to one than this.

Temple Grandin once said: "My brain scan shows that some emotional circuits between the frontal cortex and the amygdala just aren't hooked up - circuits that affect my emotions and are tied to my ability to feel love. I experience the emotion of love, but it's not the same way that most neurotypical people do. Does this mean my love is less valuable than what other people feel?"

I totally understand. However there will be some NTs who may feel a powerful connection with you in an intellectual level whihc may make up for not having the emotional connection (I find that difficult to impossible). This is why I am only looking to date guys who at least share some of my interests.